Monday, March 22, 2010

Boy, interrogated

"You know, Hayden got a mongoose?" Viv said to me.

Oh dear. Here we go again.

So I stared at him for about 5 seconds, but he had picked up a book and started reading as if he had just said the most obvious thing to me that needed no further elaboration. I took a deep breath and sighed. It was time for the usual. A long and painful interrogation session which I knew would end in me wondering why I even got involved in the first place.

"Who got a what?"

"Hayden got a mongoose."

"Hayden who?"

"Arre Hayydenn!" He said, as if adding an extra 'y' and 'n' and an exclamation mark made it very obvious which Hayden he was talking about. For all I knew, Diana Hayden had got a pet mongoose. (Why Viv would find it conversation-worthy was beyond me though.)


"Matthew Hayden!"

"Ah. Matthew Hayden. He got a mongoose?"

"Yes." He went back to reading.

"What the heck is a mongoose??" I asked. (Of course, I knew what the heck a mongoose was, I just didn't know if Matthew had got a pet mongoose or a mongoose tattoo, and once again, why I had chosen to participate in this strange conversation.)

"You don't know what's a mongoose??"

"Uh... the animal?"

"Noooo... the bat!"

"The bat?"


By now, I had seriously started wondering if I should ask him to clarify if he was talking about a cricket bat or the mammal bat. But bats are after all, animals too, and he had stressed that the mongoose he was referring to wasn't an animal.


Viv sensed my restlessness, closed his book and turned to look at me. He spotted a large thought bubble over my head with a large question mark inside.

"Oh! The Mongoose is this new cricket bat, where the handle takes up half the length."

"Oh... erm... okayyy..."

We concluded the conversation, he went back to his book, and I was left wondering why he would think that particular piece of news would interest me.

Length of conversation - 55 seconds


Now here's what it could have been:

Viv - "You know, there's this new cricket bat, where the handle takes up half the length? It's called the Mongoose. Matthew Hayden has got one."

Me - "Oh."

Length of conversation - 6 seconds


nits said...


Ritu said...

I think all the girls will heave a sigh of relief when IPL is over.

nits said...

lol.... btw, is it legally allowed... i mean didn't they had some fixed dimension for the the 'bat'...

and itni jaldi dusra gold... i am going good... :)

Anonymous said...

LOL :) Why name a bat 'mongoose'?

Anonymous said...

So now I am a bewda fultu talli ?? Ha ha :)

As I write said...

Wow !! One of my friends posted the same line on FB and I kept wondering what the heck is he talking about !!Never bothered to go and check/ask (again just to prevent such explanations u got from Viv) But see, fianlly your 55 sec conversations clarified that for me !!

And hey, SILVER :-)
Nobody has claimed tht yet !!

Tejal said...

Bhai doesn't know Hayden??? hahahahahhaha
when i read "Hayden got a mongoose." i was like haan, weird lookin bat na.. but bhai your reaction was hilarious.
Hmph. lekin ismein Viv ki kya galti thi? :P

Nandini said...

AHAHA, what a gem.

I thought from the first line that Matthew Hayden had got a pet mongoose - I found this info quite interesting, actually. Sad that it turned out to be so much more prosaic. :)

Prasoon said...

Nice :)

Only if all imp info was available in very concise form, shayad school college jaane ki bhi zaroorat na padti. Sigh.

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

well, am taking Viv's side.. :)

Unknown said...

not fair... :)

how about the exact conversation about... erm... shoes? erm... :P

also... conversation 1 at least left enough for a blog post :P

Geomon said...

omg...lolz! :)))
i bet Viv was xploding within.He plays the Betaal,u being Vikram.he knew u'd b drawn into the conversation and he'd have the last laugh.
the mongoose bat is probably called so for 3 reasons:
1. it has a long handle and a short blade,like a mogoose has a long tail and short body.
2. it's faster,and packs more punch,like a mongoose that kills a snake with pure speed.
3. the Oz name things after wild life-the Kookaburra ball,the Mongoose bat,etc

Arun said...

You're supposed to be Sherlock Bhai Holmes and figure these things out without any questions :)

Or at least be a devotee of Google Devata!

venkatesan said...

It is typical of Viv. It runs in the family, talking off things and posing silly questions! please forgive him!!

Technofun said...

U did'nt knew mongoose :P

manju said...

If the length of the conversation had ended in 6 seconds, we wouldn't have got this blogpost to read ;)

Unknown said...

6 second conversations are not blogworthy :) I am sure after that conversation, tune socha hoga: Chalo blog ke liye masala mil gaya!

Angelsera said...

my brother (another cricket freak, FYI) wud ve said "why do u expect me to waste more energy whn a few words sufficed"
never once realizing that the few words lead to a longer 'interrogation'

Varsha said...

It did not help Matthew Hayden too much in the match against Bangalore's RC, is Viv disappointed about that?


Bivas said...

Techofun's comment above reminded me of the Orient PSPO ad...
"Yeh PSPO nahin Jaanta!"

Bivas said...

oh n yeah...the mongoose looks like a Dhobi's bat used to wash clothes at the dhobhighat. :P

Anonymous said...

U know, I get 30 percent of my general knowledge by reading your blog :P

Urv said...

Arre agar convo 6 second ka hota toh yeh blog post thodi banta :P

Viv rocks :P

Sayesha said...


Hehehe! But I know some IPL-crazy girls too!! :D

Yeah looks like it's legal... next thing they will bring the dhobi ka bat and start playing with it! And after the match, they will use it to wash their dirty cricket clothes. All-in-one bat!

I guess it's because of the shape of this bat, it resembles a mongoose.

//So now I am a bewda fultu talli ??
Of course! You entered the bar at your own risk, now you have been rendered fultu talli forever. :P

#Dil se,
//Never bothered to go and check/ask (again just to prevent such explanations u got from Viv

LOL! So I suffer the torture and you guys gain general knowledge? Huh huh huh? :/

Haan tere devta Viv ko toh koi galti nahin, sab apun ki galti hai. Khush? :/

Yeah I'd thought something more fun would come out of it too!


//well, am taking Viv's side.. :)

Of course! Why am I surprised? Just because I flunked your tamil test... hmmph! :/

//how about the exact conversation about... erm... shoes?

Dude I never come home, say "Jimmy got blue straps", pick up a book and start reading!! :/

Heheheh... liked the Vikram aur Betaal analogy. :D

Haha! If I were to google after every weird statement that Viv makes, my computer would be on overdrive. :P

Hahaha! I know you're another victim of Viv's randomisms! We're going to have some fun in June when you come home! :D

No. :/

That's true, I give him that. :P

Hahaha! Correct! Mera itnaaa time waste hua, kuchh toh capitalise karna tha na! :)
PS: Welcome back to the bar, loooong time no see! :)


Naah I dun think he cares who's winning the IPL; he only goes for the more techie details like who got which bat and what not. :)

Sheesh! :P
PS: Yes yes even I thought it looked like the dhobi's bat! :)

LOL! :D :D :D

That is true. :P

shub said...

The last bit cracked me up! :D

Sanchit said...

thud thud thud

Sayesha said...



Neha said...

Arey aisa hota hai na....such an obvious thing tou meri wife ko pata honi chahiya na, akhir cricketer ki biwi hai...

I am sure Viv is going to buy a mongoose sooner than you will realize!