Friday, November 27, 2009

Family drama

Snippets from the general madness in the house during my vacation:

Me - Where's my towel? Who took my towel??
Dad - Look for your towel later. Come, look at the pumpkins I have grown in the kitchen garden.

*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*
(Viv was using the racket-like thingie that has taken the whole of India by storm, to annihilate the mosquitoes.)
Mom - Lo! Aa gaya, machharon ka yamdoot!

Baby Aish - I want to touch the touch-me-not. Where's my shteek? (another B.A.D. word [Baby Aish Dictionary word]. Dad has asked her to touch the touch-me-not with a stick to avoid the thorns.)

Mom - Whose tea is this??? It's stone cold!

Dad - And the neighbours stole the big pumpkin. I should have harvested earlier. I was waiting for it to become fully ripe and they stole it.
Me - Did you confront them?
Dad - I don't know which one of them did it. And that's why I can't come visit you in Singapore. You see? They'll just steal everything in my kitchen garden!
Me - You just need another excuse not to come see me!

*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*

Mom - Who took my slippers into the pumpkin patch? Huh? They're all muddy now!
Me (sheepish) - Umm... I don't know!

Jeeju - And then you click on this icon here called 'Dataone'. And then...
Dad - Wait wait, let me write that down. Once you go back, I will forget everything.

Me - Wow, this dress is nice!
Sis - You want it?? Take it!!
Me - No no, I don't want it. I just think it's nice.
Sis - Are you sure?? If you like it, you can have it! Seriously!
Me - No Apa, I don't want to have it... it's nice, that's all.

Me - Viv! Mosquitoes in Apa's room!
*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*

Jeeju - And then you click this icon here that says 'Internet Explorer'...
Viv - Or you can click the one that says 'Mozilla Firefox'.
Dad (to me) - So which one should I click?
Me - Will you people please stop confusing my poor Dad?

Baby Aish (to Viv) - Moucha, I want to play "Fly like an aeroplane".
Sis - Come, brush your teeth first!
Baby Aish - I don't want to brush my teeth. I want to play "Fly like an aeroplane".

Me - And where's my baby pictures' album??
Dad - This one!
Me - Why doesn't it have a sticker with my name like Apa's?
Dad - Errr...
Me - Special offer for first-born? Second-born gets no bhaav?

Mom - Seriously, whose tea is this??

Me (pointing to the showcase in the living room) - What on earth is this??
Mom - Don't ask me. Ask your Dad.
Dad - Arre! It's the statue of Liberty next to a statue of the Merlion. It's symbolic. It represents my daughters' locations.
Me - Hey bhagwaaaaan.....

Baby Aish - Mauchi, I want to play bubbles.
I start blowing bubbles while she jumps around bursting them.
Baby Aish - BEEEEG bubble! I want a BEEEEG bubble!
I blow a big bubble and two smaller ones.
Baby Aish (pointing to the small bubbles) - No I don't want the sad bubbles. I want the happy bubbles.
Me - Erm... Mausi is tired. Now you try, baby.
Baby Aish (disappointed at her sad bubbles) - When I become BEEEG, I will also make happy bubbles.

*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*
Me - Viv, please stop destroying the bubbles with the racket and focus on the mosquitoes.

Me - And where is my favourite childhood book?
Dad - Which one is that?
Me (horrified) - You don't know which is my favourite childhood book?
Dad - Errr...
Me - I'm sure you know Apa's favourite childhood book?
Dad - Errr... no. Which one is yours?
Me - The Lost Girl and the Scallywags. I can't find it. Did you trash it????
Dad - I haven't trashed anything from the time I built this house!!
Mom (looking at all the half-opened cartons) - Sigh. Tell me about it.

Me - Viv, please take a bath...
Viv - Wait wait, Sehwag is on 47...

Mom - Will you people please close and lock your suitcases when you're not in the room? The kaam wali is new...

Dad - Somebody get the phone!

Aish - I want to watch Dora.
Sis - Dora doesn't come on Indian TV, Aish.
Aish - But I want to watch Dora!
Me - Come let's watch Bollywood trailers, Aish.
Aish - But I want to watch Dora!

Mom - I love these coffee mugs you got.
Me - Then why aren't you using them???
Mom - What if they break?!
Me - Ya allaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!

Me (examining baby Aish's tiny fingers) - Aishu, your fingers are soooo tiny and soooo cute. Mausi is going to eat them up! Should I eat them up? (making chomping sounds near her fingers)
Baby Aish - No no, put some sugar on them first. Then eat them.

Dad - Who has locked my mobile??
Me - I have. You should always lock it.
Dad - But why??
Me - Well, it will start dialing random numbers.
Dad - What?! How??
Me - If someone sits on it or something...
Dad - Why would anyone sit on my phone?????????
Me - Well, it could dial even if no one sits on it...
Dad - I have been using this phone for years now! It has never happened before. Why will it happen now??
Me - Errr...
Dad - How do I unlock it? I pressed 'Unlock' but nothing happened!
Me - You have to press the asterisk after pressing 'Unlock'.
Dad - Press the WHAT? You unlock my phone now. And don't lock it again.
Me - Sigh...

Mom (from kitchen) - Does he want more?
Me - More, Viv?
Viv - Nope.
Me (projecting voice towards kitchen) - No, he doesn't.
Mom - Are you sure?
Me - Yes.
Mom (comes out) - Some more, beta?
Viv - Yeah sure!
Mom (glaring at me) - See?
Me (glaring at Viv) - What the...?!



32 comments:

Sonia Sunny Thomas said...

lol.. Hilarious Sayesha..

I see you are enjoying your India trip.. Wink!!

Sanket said...

GOLD!!!

LOL, that was a fun read :D

manasi.mulye said...

Hey... I am third! :))

manasi.mulye said...

Hey.. nice post again.. You write so well that I cud easily visualize the whole scene in front of my eyes! That is bhai's kamaal ! Wah!

A G said...

Bhai!!! Its been ages since i commented! Nice post.... I seriously think our families might secretly/distantly be related!

Yaadoooon ki baaaaraaaaaaaat
Nikliiiii hai aaaaa dil keeeee.....you continue the rest!

PS:I was at some family function some ten days ago and suddenly remembered the lyricist in Viv and grinned.People sitting with me asked me ..what happened.And of course, I couldn't explain :D

You've made Viv famous :D

-Reefknot

Swathy said...

Read it once,
Had a laugh..
read it again..*haha..
the madness s just worth it! :)
The mosquito racket's.created a lot of dhoom in India,hasent it?. it is my sister's dept at home.. Was quite scary, especially when it s aimed at a macchar quite close to your hair! :/

buddy said...

enjoyed this post!

Swapna Raghu Sanand said...

That's drama indeed!

Thousif Raza said...

my god you just made my day, i was feeling unwell, but reading that not just brought a smile to my face but lit up like a fire cracker really :)

thx for making our lives happier :), may you have such madness throughout your life ;)

take care and keep writing...............

smalltown_girl said...

i was seriously smiling!
ur family rock!! :D

sandya said...

A home full of love and a family that is crazy about each other!! May the madness continue....

Shoba said...

>> Baby Aish - No no, put some sugar on them first. Then eat them <<

..juz love her innocent words yaar.I cud visualize the entire drama! hv a nc trip :)

Sayesha said...

#Sonia,
Thank you! :)

#Sanket,
Thanks! :D

#manasi,
Thanks! :))

#A G,
Welcome back!! :D

//Yaadoooon ki baaaaraaaaaaaat
Nikliiiii hai aaaaa dil keeeee.....you continue the rest!

Or... shall we ask Viv to complete the song in his ishtyle? ;)

#Swathy,
Yeah the mosquito thing is super awesome and freaky at the same time. But it sure is useful!!

#buddy,
Thank you! :)

#Swapna,
Hehehe... and all this is only what I could remember! :)

#Thousif,
Thanks. :)

#smalltown girl,
Thank you! :)

#sandya,
Thanks! :)

#Shoba,
Hehehe... and after this she said, "Once more?" and I did the whole drill again and this time she changed the seasoning from sugar to 'achaar'. :)

How do we know said...

he he he he he. i dont believe this!!!!

V said...

Nitpicking here, but 'A snippet', followed by a bunch of them? tsk tsk.

V

Sayesha said...

#How do we know,
:)

#V,
Whoops! Thanks for pointing that out, I've corrected it. :)

N said...

I am visiting my family tomorrow and making my poor husband plod along with me...and I have a big family!! Trust me...All the while I was reading this post, the only thought which came to my mind is that of tomorrow!!!

You always make my day...keep writing!

Tejal said...

ok seriously, awesome post.. u having a lovely time na :)
my favorite part was *ZAP*ZAP*ZAP*.. hehhe..i can almost hear the poor mosquitos shouting for mercy :P
btw, i want to play 'Fly like an aeroplane' too! ;)

shub said...

Loved it :) It reads like one of those chaotic DD-2 sitcoms :D

~Lopa said...

hahahaha
kahani ghar ghar ki ;)

starbreez said...

:-DDDDDDDDDDD

Baby Aish sounds so mature now ... maybe it's time to drop the 'Baby'!!! :p

And was Viv substituting bat practice with the mosquito bat or what?! lol

Sounds like a beautiful time full of love, warmth and laughter. You guys should do this every year! :-DDDDDDD

Urv said...

ZAP ZAP ZAP

Baby Aish is so so so cute and adorable :)

Whose tea was it by the way. I hope someone drank it in the end. Noone should waste tea. Never. (Spoken like a true chai addict nai ;))

kkn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kkn said...

How come you have 22 comments, and nobody claimed your silver. Or is that inside thing of yours now closed down to gold only. And yes, use Firefox, it's FOSS.

P.S. is manasi.mulye a regular reader?( Hey... I am third! :)) )?

Maryum said...

loved it.. loved it ...loved it ....and loved it some more...:D

Soumya said...

This is absolutely hilarious. Family is the best.
LOL at Viv wanting more food when your mom asked. Baby Aish is super adorable. Every time you write about her I think of my niece who was born only months after Baby Aish.
This post took me back two years when we had a similar "rare" get together at my place. It was definitely memorable.

Stupidosaur said...

This was pleasantly....OVERWHELMING!!!!
My head is buzzing. (Not with mosquitoes. All of them got killed in the post. None left.)

Reptile lives absolutely alone :P

Porkodi (பொற்கொடி) said...

:))))) bhai is bhai!

mythalez said...

rofl rofl .. wat subplots .. what drama, what action!
and yet all completely coherent!

and yeah ... whaat kamedy!!! :D

Srinivas B.P said...

"No no, put some sugar on them first. Then eat them "

Choooo Cute :)

Iddy Albatross said...

I got reminded of Baba, I got reminded of Ma, I got reminded of my sister, my cousins... even my nephew!! And, I was laughing so hard while reading this, I got coffee coming outta my nose!!!

:D Top notch stuff... Cheers...

--Sunrise-- said...

Looove it... I get the phone unlocking thing from my grandfather too... sigh. :D