Thursday, July 17, 2008

Haar-maan gaya?

So Sayesha Smitten Showbiz Kitten decided to organise a discussion forum called 'The future of Bollywood'. She sent out invites to the two main parties the forum revolved around - the cast and crew of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, and Love Story 2050.

Aamir agreed to come because he preferred smaller gatherings to big award shows. Imran agreed because he always agreed with Aamir. Harman agreed because no one else wanted to interview him. Priyanka agreed to accompany Harman because as a former Miss World, it was her duty to stand by the unfortunate. Genelia agreed because she wanted to see if Priyanka was taller than her.

Place: SSSK's living room
Time: 9.38 am
People: Aamir Khan, Imran Khan, Genelia D'Souza and SSSK

Aamir (looking at his watch) - 8 minutes past the agreed time... So... Where are they?

SSSK (looking embarrassed) - They should be on the way I think...

Aamir - This is the problem of the younger generation! No respect for time. Kyun, Imran?

Imran (gulps) - Err... Ji, Mamu.

Aamir (to Genelia) - Kyun, Genelia?

Genelia (looks at him nervously) - Ji... err... mamu?

A car can be heard pulling in. Harman and Priyanka confidently walk into the living room.

Aamir - Ye lo! Harry Puttar aa gaya!

Harman - Please don't call me that.

Aamir - How about Harry ka Puttar?

Harman - Please, Uncle... Papa ke baare mein kuchh nahin...

Harman sits as far away from Imran as possible. Priyanka and Genelia make cat eyes at each other.

SSSK (attempts to takes control of the situation) - So we're all here! Shall we start the discussion?

Harman (wipes brow) - Yes, please. (whispers to Priyanka) The sooner we get this done with, the better.

Aamir (whispers to Imran) - Imran, remember this. No matter what happens, do not let me utter the words "Shah Rukh", "dog" and "biscuit" in the same sentence. Okay?

Imran - Err... Ji, Mamu.

SSSK - Great then! Please start. I'll be outside on that tree, taking notes.

Priyanka - On that tree??

Genelia - Huh? Why don't you sit here on the couch and take notes?

SSSK - Actually the couch is a bit uncomfortable...

Genelia - More than the tree??

SSSK - You won't understand. That's my office.

Genelia and Priyanka give SSSK strange looks.

SSSK plonks herself on a branch that leans towards the living room window. She takes out her notepad and pencil and starts writing.

Aamir (grins) - So? Harry Puttar?

Harman - Please don't call me that. I have a name.

Aamir - Oh right! So are you Harman as in "R.D. Burman", or Harman as in "Super-man" or Harman as in "Haar-maan ja aur kat le"?

Harman - Uhhh... it's Harman.

Aamir - As in?

Harman - Err... R. D. Burman?

Imran Khan chuckles.

Aamir - So your movie flopped.

Harman - Yeah...

Aamir (proudly points to Imran) - His was a blockbuster. Do you know?

Harman - I know...

Aamir - Maybe you should tell your Dad this - it's not easy to launch someone new. You need real talent. It's not something every Tom, Dick and HARRY can do! HA HA HA!

Harman grinds his teeth. SSSK decides to intervene.

SSSK - Priyanka! Why don't you tell us about your movie? What's your character?

Priyanka - My character has two parts. I'm Sana in the present and Zeisha in the future.

SSSK (almost falls off the branch in shock) - Sayesha?! What the...?!

Priyanka - No! No! Zeisha.

SSSK - Oh! Phew.

Genelia - Zeisha?? Huh? What kinda stupid name is that??

Priyanka - Oh please! You toh don't even talk. If your name had two more letters in it, your so called 'family movie' would have been rated 'RA'!

Aamir - Priyanka, Priyanka, Priyanka. Calm down, my child. One flop is all it takes for an intelligent girl like you to lose her senses.

Priyanka calms down.

Aamir - So tell me, what the heck made you sign a movie like that? Was it because of this dhakkan of a boyfriend you have?

Priyanka fidgets with her phone.

Genelia - And the hair... oh the hair... that was torture. Why, Priyanka, why??

Priyanka (bursts into tears) - They made me dye it red! I lost so much of it during the dyeing!

Harman - Please yaar. You had too much of it anyway.

Priyanka - What the...?! Are you calling me hairy??

Aamir - Ha ha ha! This is fun! Maybe your movie should have been called HAIRY AUR PUTTAR instead! Kyun, Imran?

Imran - Ji, Mamu.

SSSK decides to intervene again.

SSSK - Now now. Let's all behave like adults here. Now Harman, I have a friend called Viv... he says he went to school with you in Bombay. Do you remember him?

Priyanka (claps hand to mouth) - Haw!!!! Did he tell you Harman used to look like a stick figure in school??

Harman (glares at Priyanka) - Oh please! I was not a stick figure. I was just... err... slender.

Aamir (proudly points to Imran) - Imran was never stick-thin or fat in school. He was always fit. Kyun, Imran?

Imran - Ji, Mamu.

Harman glares again. At no one in particular.

Harman - Well, I'm fit now, aren't I?

Genelia - Yeah. At least something came out of copying Hrithik.

Harman - Excuse me?!

Genelia - Don't insult my intelligence now. The whole world knows you're modelled after him. Daddy's idea, eh?

Harman - I am SO not modelled after him! Will people quit saying that?!

Aamir - Ha ha! Priyanka, what do you have to say to that? Doesn't he try to be Hrithik?

Priyanka - Well...

Harman (looks at her indignantly) - Priyanka?!

Priyanka - Frankly speaking... every time I'm with you, I feel like I'm shooting for Krrish...

Genelia - Ha ha ha!

Aamir (guffaws) - Ouch! Kyun, Imran?

Imran - Err... Ji, Mamu.

Aamir - Ji Mamu what?

Imran - Ouch?

Aamir (looks at Imran proudly) - Precisely.

Harman - So you too think I look like Hrithik?

Priyanka - Well, yeah! But he has what you have and more!

Harman - You mean like the extra finger?

Priyanka - Much more, Harman. Much more.

Aamir - Ha ha ha! I like Priyanka. I think I will sign her for my next movie.

Priyanka (can't believe her ears) - You will??

Aamir - Yes, yes, I'm working on a script right now. It should be done by the end of 2010.

Harman - Sure sure. Knowing how long you take to make your movies, if you'd made Love Story 2050, it wouldn't be about travelling to the future, it would be about travelling to the past! Hmmmph!

Aamir - Arre shabash! First good retort from you! Maybe I will remake Love Story 2050 with the two of you. By the time I complete shooting, it would actually be 2050. Ha ha! Kyun, Imran?

Imran - Ji, mamu.

Genelia (rolls her eyes and whispers to Imran) - Imran, your mamu is a bit annoying, you know...

Imran (whispers back, smiling all the while) - I know... shhh!

Aamir - Okay then, I must get started at once. (leans out of the window) SSSK, this was really fun. We should do it again sometime. Let's go, Imran, Genelia?

The three of them leave. Harman is sitting with his head in his hands. Priyanka is looking at him, not knowing what to say.

Priyanka - Okay baba, don't sulk now. I'll sing a song to cheer you up, okay?

Harman (still sulking) - Okay...

Priyanka (clears her throat) - Achha jee main HARRY chalo maan jao na...

Priyanka bursts into laughter and leaves the room.

Harman (lifts head and slowly sings) - Dekhi sabki yaari mera dil jalaao na...



38 comments:

Prithi Shetty said...

You are absolutely hilarious ! :)))))) Everytime :) Too good ! :)

maxdavinci said...

Saw an interview on CNN-IBN he was doing the 'ji mamu' charade even then.

Illuminatus said...

Too good!!!!

sumgum said...

Funny hai...as in Funny Mamu ji....or watever...;)

It is funny... :)

Sanket said...

Hehe....that was super funny!! :D :D

Kanan said...

he he he :D

Stone said...

wish it was lil longer..nevertheless awesome fun :-)

ji mamu :-) :-)

Stupidosaur said...

I didn't understand
//Oh please! You toh don't even talk. If your name had two more letters in it, your so called 'family movie' would have been rated 'RA'!

Pls explain
*Stupid has a Stupid look on face*

Vijay said...

back to your blogs after a long time...

the humor is awesome. But i felt you lingered a little too much about making fun of Harman's name. I guess that was intended! Good stuff!

Cheers

Navin said...

OMG....... this was amazing......

PizzaDude said...

Hahahaha! Definitely one of my favourites in the SSSK series!

You so rock!

PizzaDude said...

Err... I don't mean to be a nitpicker, but you have written that Priyanka Chopra was in the living room with the others and then you mention that she walks in late along with Harman. Eh ?

Swathy said...

the punch line[song!!] will be always be fantascic bhai!
arey wah!! viv was succhi me harry putter s school mate is it?aap ke to connection bahut upar thak hai mai baap [;)]

shub said...

Viv must be grinning at his mention in the post. Like this :D [and I suddenly remembered his the 'The' with a flourish, in the blue striped jams! HAHAHAHAHA :D]

Prats said...

Mast bhai.... full to mast.. But Aamir jyada shana nahi ban raha bhai!!!!

Nick said...

hahahahaha thats the best interview i have ever encountered in my life! keep up the good work....btw, i'm new to blogging...do visit my blog http://nikipedia87.wordpress.com/ and let me know what you think of it....Ji mamu :D

Tejal said...

:( er..Imraan does say sum things apart from 'Ji mamu'..sigh..uhh i dunno, i liked the movie too much to critize the cast/producer :P
but harman toh, even i dont like :D
he looks lik a cross b/w hritik n emraan hasmi :P heeeh
n i luved the song at the end :D
Viv went to school in bombay? i thot Viv was from chennai :S okay i'm a wee bit confused here!

ken said...

hey you are simply awesomo !!!

Urv said...

Funnnny post :)

3 meows for the SSSKitten. I find Genelia's dialogue delivery very hilarious. Its even more funnier in Mere baap pehle aap.

(I did not get the 'RA' joke :( )

Urv said...

Aah! And I claim gold :)

Smita said...

OMG...the most hilarious was "two letter short" - who else can think of such word-play but "sayesha the great" - hats off...i was rolling with laughter!! BTW delurking for the first time, couldnt just help myself

Smita said...

i just saw one comment asking for clarification of the same - for him/her - think genelia and try putting "ta" in between somewhere and read the word...hilarious!

Stupidosaur said...

Haaaaaaaw! Sayesha, if you meant the same joke as smita explained, then double haaaaaaw!

First I never thought of it that way because I thought yours is a family blog. (Haaaaaaaw1)

Second I never thought of it that way because I thought after being at the recieving end of Viv's Scrabble Games twice, Sayesha herself would never cheat on spellings replacing i by e (Haaaaaaaw2)

OK Now I'll just drop the Haaaaaaaw charade and come out with the true feelings......
HawHawHawHawHaw! Good one ;)

Sayesha said...

#Prithi,
Thank you. :P

#Maxdavinci,
I haven't seen any interviews of the boy. But he just seems the kind who would "Ji mamu" his way through them. :)

#Illuminatus,
Thanks. :)

#sumgum,
Thanks. :)

#Sanket,
Thank you! :)

#Kanan,
Thanks! :)

#Stone,
Thanks! :)

#Stupidosaur,
I was waiting for someone to explain it to you... and someone did! :D

#Vijay,
Thanks. :)

#Navin,
Thanks. :)

#Pizzadude,
Thank you! :D
PS: Thanks for pointing out the blooper too. Corrected it. :P

#Swathy,
Thanks! :)
PS: Haan yaar... Viv toh wadde Bollywood celebrity school mein padha... aur apun? Apun ke saath kaun padha? Laloo Prasad ka khaandaan!

#Shub,
Hahahaha! You can't get over the "THE", can you? :D

#Prats,
Thanks! Jabse blogging shuru kiya hai, Aamir shyana hi ban raha hai! :/

#Nick,
Thanks! :)
PS: Off to check out your blog!

#Tejal,
Hey! I liked the movie too!!! :P

//he looks lik a cross b/w hritik n emraan hasmi :P heeeh

OMG that is SOOOO true now that I think of it! :O

//Viv went to school in bombay? i thot Viv was from chennai :S okay i'm a wee bit confused here!

Tch tch. And you call yourself the President of his fan club? Tch tch! :P
PS: Okay his schooling was in both cities. Hehe!

#Ken,
Thanko! :)

#Urv,
Thanks! :)
PS: Scroll down for the RA joke explanation. :)

#Smita,
Finally! Finally someone understood! Hehe! :P
ps: Thanks for explaining it to the Stupidosaur!

#Stupidosaur,
Hahahaha! Wohi toh! This is a family bar, and aise pavitra vatarvaran mein you expect me to explain the joke in the post itself? Dhikkaar hai! I was waiting for a bewda/bewdi to knock the explanation into your head! :P

//Sayesha herself would never cheat on spellings replacing i by e (Haaaaaaaw2)

Hahahahahahhaha! :D

Solitaire said...

Mamu ko kuch na kahiye. Woh toh mera pehla pyar hai. I am Imran's mami.

Urv said...

Kya zamana aa gaya hai! Log kaisa kaisa sochte hai.. Aaj kal ke Bhai log.. :P :P

Btw, did you see Love story 2050?

Anup said...

That is funny!! hahahah laughed a lot. hahahaha...

Maryum said...

haha! luved the post..i hate harman ki voice..eww..
and i m amazed to see k no one claimed gold...( i know urv did claim it..but he already has won it too many times...)so i m taking it from him:) and claiming diamond as well;)

Nidhi said...

Absolutely hilarious. Agree wid Pizzadude..its one of the best SSSK posts.

Btw.....watch "Aamir" (the movie)..one of the most unconventional movies in recent times....its like those movies that haunt you for quite some time after watching it!

Somya said...

Hilarious..too good..just the loved priyanka's exit number"dekho ji manin harry....":-)

Vidu said...

too good!

mythalez said...

rofl ... SSSK is the best! its my only link to filmidom gossip :D

Avaran said...

doesnt imran try a 'Joey' annoyingly often?
i mean, or is it jus me who felt so?

Nidhi said...

O Bhai...where art thou???

Sayesha said...

#Solitaire,
ROFL! I have been quoting your "I'm Imran's mami" to people around me for a week now! :D

#Urv,
:D
//Btw, did you see Love story 2050?

Mera dimaag kharaab hai?? Actually hai, lekin itna nahin ki I will go and see Harry ka Puttar mimic Hrithik! :/

#Anup,
:D

#Maryum,
Thanks! :D

#Nidhi,
Thanks! :)

Yup, I've watched Aamir. Khandelwal totally rocked the movie! :)

#Somya,
Thanks! :P

#Vidu,
Thanks! :)

#mythalez,
Hehehe... thanks for the support to SSSK. :P

#Avaran,
Err... 'Try a Joey' in what sense?

#Nidhi,
Tumne pukara aur hum chale aaye! :D

Urv said...

//Mera dimaag kharaab hai?? Actually hai, lekin itna nahin

Thik hai! Aap Bhai hai. Mujhe kuch bhi keh sakte hain.

Par bot mazaa aaya tha mujhe to. Ekdum "robotic" acting karta hai Haara hua ladka :D

Shantanu said...

Nice. Good time-pass! You are good...

Shantanu said...

And while you don't like anon comments, you may want to consider adding OpenID comments which Blogger does allow now.