The ultimate man vs. machine war

Baby Aish has reached the age where she has started saying things. Not like she did not say things before. There has been more than one occasion where Aishu has held the telephone and poured her heart out to me, narrating heart-wrenching stories of how her evil parents and grandmother are making her bathe every single day (oh the horror!), eat yucky mushy stuff, and wear stuff that is so not her style *coyly looks at nails*. Of course what I actually heard on the phone was something like what you would see on your screen if you accidentally fell asleep on your keyboard:

"Ksajkrhjkbnfjkdnflkajfoiuerohiflkhas
asjkhjkkaeruhblkhlkj
jafcfnlkjelkjareoprjnjfklds!!!!"

But a conversation it was, even though it was heavily intercepted by “beep beep beep” sounds, which was not Aishu using expletives, but her expressing fondness towards pressing the buttons on the phone, especially 'cancel' followed by 9-1-1, in that particular order. It was no wonder therefore that my sister decided to confiscate the phone. Aishu was not to go anywhere within 100 cm of the phone. And every time I’d ask for Aishu on the phone, my sister would decline.

I was devastated. If she did not hear her eklauti mausi’s voice, how would I become her best-friend-godmother-confidante?? So I bought a webcam. Forget hearing, now she could see me! So I asked my sister to point to me when I was online and say "M-A-U-S-I" ("aunt") as often as she could. Baby Aish was excited at the proceedings on the computer and the delightful proximity with another gadget she could destroy.

So last week, I asked my sister what baby Aish had learnt to say so far.

“Oh she says Papa, Mama, everything. And she can count to six. She drops the four, but she goes on to six. And we’re trying to get her to say the computer parts – we point to different parts and make her repeat it.”

Sheesh. What do you expect from two programmer parents?

“What about 'mausi'? Can she say 'mausi' yet?”

“Aishu, say 'mausi'?” I heard my sister say.

“Mauuuu…” Aishu said, in true Shakti Kapoor style.

I didn’t give up. Over the next few days, I tried and tried till she finally gave in one day.

"Mausss..." I heard her say.

"She almost said 'mausi', she almost said 'mausi', she almost said 'mausi'!" I said, jumping up and down.

Over the next few days, I heard her say it many many times, my heart exploding each time with utter joy and adoration.

“You know, I feel so happy when she says 'mausi'…” I was telling my sister once.

“Hehehe…” my sister laughed nervously.

“What? Why are you laughing like that?”

"Errr..." said my sister.

"What? What?? What???"

"Actually, she doesn’t actually say 'mausi'."

"Of course she does! I’ve heard her say it so many times!" I yelled.

“Errr… She didn’t actually say 'mausi'.”

"Well, what did she say then?"

"She said 'mouse'."

"Mouse?"

"Yeah."

"Mouse as in the rodent?"

"No! Not that!" my sister said emphatically, as if that was supposed to make me feel better. "The computer mouse!!!"

Ooh, the computer mouse. :/

Sheesh.

My niece thinks I am a computer mouse. Not the CPU, not the monitor, not even the keyboard, but the mouse – a part that is actually redundant in some computers.

“I don’t think she quite knows the difference between 'mouse' and 'mausi' yet. We point in the same general direction when we say either word, you see.” My sister explained.

:/