Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Bhaigiri 101 - Apun ka alphabet

So I was on the phone with my sister getting the latest updates on baby Aish.

"You know, she repeats everything she hears?" my sister said.

"Huh? Really?? Like everything??"

"Yeah! Do you wanna teach her something?" She asked.

"YEAH-A!!! Pass her the phone!!"

My sister passed the phone to Aish.

"Hiiii!" I said.

"Haiayayaya!!!!" Aish screeched.

"Aishu, say 'Apple!'? Apple? Apple?" I said, sounding extremely silly.

"Apple." She said.

"HOLY COW!" I said (to myself, of course. Wouldn't want Aish to freak her mother out by suddenly saying 'HOLY COW!').

And that's when I felt the resounding thud on my head. It was my alter ago Sash Bhai, who had administered a dose of the rolled-up-newspaper weapon-of-ass-destruction on my head. (For those who don't know, I have about ten alter egos.)

"Shyani... Yeh tu kya kar reli hai??" Bhai said.

"Arre Bhai aap... bahut dinon se dikhai nahin diye... Woh kya hai na Bhai... apni Aishu bolna seekh rahi hai na... bole toh..." I said nervously.

"Pata hai pata hai... mast repeat kar reli hai... lekin tu bachi ko bigaad kaiku reli hai? Kya bakwaas sikha reli hai usko??"

"Bakwaas? Bakwaas nahin Bhai... Woh Bhai... kya hai na... Apple... woh 'A for apple' seekhegi na school mein... toh... bas apun socha thoda paileich preparation..."

"Abbe dhakkan! 'A for apple' toh usko uske shyaane Amreeki teacher log sikha hi denge. Tu usko kya naya sikha rahi hai?" Bhai demanded furiously, tapping her fingers on the armrest a la Mogambo.

*gulp*

"Bhai, aapki baat mein dum toh hai. Toh thoda advice de dijiye... kya sikhaya jaaye?"

"Kuchh sikhana hi hai... toh usko mere sanskaar sikha... baaki toh woh apne aap seekh hi jayegi... abhi usko kuchh alag... kuchh solid sikha." Bhai said with a proud smile.

"Haan bhai... samajh gaya apun... bilkul."

So I came up with a new alphabet - only for my tiny tapori - containing all the keywords she needs to pass Bhaigiri 101.

A for Apun
B for Bhai
C for Chikna
D for Dhakkan
E for Englis
F for Fultu
G for Ghanta
H for Hafta
I for Ishtyle
J for Jail
K for Kharcha-pani
L for Locha
M for Mamu
N for No tension
O for Oopar tak (pahunch hai apun ki)
P for Pulis
Q for Q re shyaane?
R for Rampuri
S for Supari
T for Tapori
U for Uthwa lo
V for VIP log
W for Wasooli
X for X-pert
Y for Yeda
Z for Zabardast



41 comments:

satish said...

GOlD

satish said...

khokha, peti, khopchaa???

kahan hain yeh sab?? aap barbaad kar daaloge bachchi ko. apun ke paas bhej dena usko. free mein padayega usko main.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

SILVER I GOT SILVER

GuNs said...

Oh man!
You are gonna lose your rights to see your niece pretty soon, looks like.

Ha ha, don't let your sister hear/read this.

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs

Sakshi said...

Bhai, ekdum barabarich bola. Angreezi log itna raapchik cheez kaise sikhayega?

aequo animo (advocatus diaboli) said...

Huh, I was hoping it would be S for Sash bhai :D

Harshi said...

hahah..! (almost laughed into my phone here at work :-)) Maza aaya course leke.

nycbewda said...

Bhai
Maza agaya !!
some words from my side
Item, Bindas, khoka, peti, maal..

Nidhi said...

Sash bhai!!! Kya dhinchak post hai....apun ko bhi bhai ki paathshala mein bharti hone ko maangta hai :D

Clueless said...

You are mast...girl...seldom i came to a blog twice...but yours is in my favs list. Keep enjoying.

sd said...

Bhai - Bole to apun fultu fan ban gaya!

Deepali said...

Aur bhai G for "GHANTA" ? Wo bhi please..wo apna favorite hai

Sayesha said...

#Sattu,
Abbe! Apun ki billi apun se meow?? Tujhe yeh sab kisne sikhaya bol? Apun ne! Abhi A for apple bhi hota hai, aeroplane bhi hota hai, lekin ek baar mein ek hi cheez sikhaane ka na? Apun ka naam dubaayega tu toh. You are demoted to Bhaigiri 101! Hmmph! :/

#Ipanema Gal,
Silver is not given to people who steal my crushes. :/

#GuNs,
:P :P :P

#Sakshi,
Wohi toh! :D

#Aequo,
Woh Bhaigiri 201 mein hai. :D

#Harshi,
:D

#NYCbewda,
Thanks for the words re... apun next year ka syllabus update karta hai abhi...

#Nidhi,
Edmison fees laayi hai? Char peti for fulltime course, do peti for part-time. Entrance test ka fees alag. Chalega?

#Clueless,
Thanks! :)

#SD,
Sabas! :D

#Deepali,
Mast idea hai re tera... Bhai ko pasand aaya, Bhai ne post update kar dala - GHANTA it is! Bahut tarakki karegi tu! :D

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

baskya. he's still your crush, he says.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

i liked Q

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

i.e. we

Raj said...

Kafi ahccha hai naya alphabet! 'N for Nautanki' bhi chal sakta tha, nahin?

rt said...

for ur next syllabus
alibag (se aaya hai kya)
baju wali gali(se nikal gaya)
rapchik
and most imp...
L for LOCAL

Bivas said...

rotfl...tiny tapori urf TT-Bhai...mast name hai...bole to ekdum solid ;-)
Waise course mein enrollment fee 4 peti!!! I thot 4 pani-puri se kaam chal jaata :P

satish said...

You are demoted to Bhaigiri 101! Hmmph! :/

LOL

bhai, maan gaye aapko! itni baar maaf kiya, is baar bhi maaf kar doh.

maine aapki daaru pee hai bhai! ;;)

youtham said...

hi Sayesha,
I need some help regarding science.Cld i have ur email?

Utham

Sayesha said...

#Ipanema Gal,
*still in ignore mode*

#Raj,
Haan haan, chalega kyun nahin? Aap jaise log jab tak hain, zaroor chalega! :D

#RT,
Hehehehe! Sure sure! :D

#Bivas,
Arre sabke saamne kaiku bol dala re? Dost log ka waaste spesal rate hai re! Ab sab aa jaayega muh uthaake Bhai se discount maangne! :/

#Satish,
Tu pehle batch ka student hai, ja maaf kiya. Aage sa sambhal kar. :|

#Youtham,
Sure, it's sayeshaz@gmail.com. What kinda help do you need? Something I can really help with I hope! :P

Adorable Pancreas said...

I got that one as a forwarded email. Not the post, the alphabet. I was rolling on the floor, and you better pay for the injuries I sustained from rolling over a sleeping cat. He did not like being rolled over, I tell you.

Sayesha said...

#Adorable Pancreas,
Hainnn? Somebody copy-pasted my alphabet and sent it as a forward? :/
ps: Apologies to the cat. :P

dharmu said...

bhai, flying visit at your bar to announce that i am still alive. and i keep crashing around when i get time.

this post rocks, i think this is the first thing i will teach my baby too (er, maybe in 10 yeasr time. i like to plan much ahead)

M said...

Hi Sayesha,
Been reading ur blog for a while now. All posts are awesome!!
:( - because I do not understand Hindi and I guess translation will only lose the substance.

M
ps: Ive got my own baby blog *blush* :)

Fleiger said...

G = Ghoda
M = Maal
S = Shyaana

would also work.

Kusum Rohra said...

I am so happy to see our (bhai log ka) alphabet gaining popularity.

Good job :D

sushil said...

hee. this is one kickass alphabet.

Sayesha said...

#Dharmu,
Harley dada! Apun socha shaadi-byaah karke tum settal ho gaya! Apun toh sochkar unsettal ho gaya re! Good to see you back in avtaar! :D

#M,
Welcome and thanks! :)

#Fleiger,
Indeed they would. :)

#Kusum,
Hehehehehe! :P

#Sushil,
:D
*throws a sheep at Sushil*

Sriram said...

Copying it on my blog ... with your permission

Sayesha said...

#Sriram,
Are you asking for permission now or have you assumed that I gave permission and you've already reproduced it on your blog? Have you linked it back to me? Please let me know your blog URL please.
Thanks.

Sayesha said...

#Sanket,
I was just very very lucky I guess? :) More here: http://hop-scotch.blogspot.com/2006/12/pakistan-trip-karachi-series-part-1.html

Nope, I don't like Tere Bin. In fact I found it too nasal... :P I only like Kuchh is tarah! :D

Sriram said...

I am asking for permission and I won't be reproducing till you agree to it.

My blog is http://iyer-the-gr8.blogspot.com/

Sayesha said...

#Sriram,
Hi, yes you may reproduce it as long as it's credited with a linkback to my blog. Thanks! :)
ps: Btw, the URL you have supplied does not work. Please send me the correct one.

Sriram said...

Thousand Apologies...

http://iyer-the-gr8.livejournal.com/

Sayesha said...

#Sriram,
Hehe! No worries. And thanks, oh iyer the gr8! :)

ammu said...

Bahi ek bat bolun bura to nahi manoge naa!!

God apun se pucha,
Kidhar jana mangta ?
SWARG YA NARAK ?
Apun bola NARAK !
Apun ko malum,
Tum sala dost log udharich milega,
Bole to Jidhar tum, Woich apun ka SWARAG..

ammu said...

Ramgopal Varma, agar tu apun se pooche tho, thu bhaigiri mein teekh hai yaar. Ab bahut flop nikaal diya, chal apne tapori chaal par aaja, warna langda ho jaayega. Sach bolta ki nahin


amitariyal@gmail.com

Spectator said...

bohotiiich badi galat-femily hai ye !!!!

Kanan said...

LMAO @ alphabets... hahaha I can't stop laughing.
yekdam jhakas!