Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mom's the word

Sometimes we just forget about old-fashioned ways of doing things, don't we?

So when Dad said he can't receive .jpeg files via email anymore, Mom was very sad that she could not see any pictures of how baby Aish is growing up. They don't want to get a computer at home yet because they dunno much about them. She said she wondered when she would be able to see Aish next. I asked her to come visit me so she could see Aish every day via webcam like I do. It did not strike me for the longest time that all I had to do was go to the Kodak shop, get the latest pictures of Aish printed and post them to Mom! I only thought of it when I got some 'Mother's Day' flyer in the mail, and saw all the standard Mother's Day gift ideas that made me wanna hurl. They also made me scrap my original idea of sending roses like every year, and send her a collection of Baby Aish's latest photos instead.


The best thing is that the envelope reached Dad's office just yesterday! I'd already emailed him to tell him not to open it, but to give it to her today. This morning, when I spoke to her, she was ecstatic! She said it was a total surprise because she'd really been missing Aish and had thought that the next time she saw Aish would be when she'd already be going to school.

In the last few weeks of being at home, I've felt closer to Mom than I ever have. Perhaps because I've been performing the roles of a wife, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law, a homemaker, just like her. I'm joining my new job end of this month, till then I've been working hard trying to set up 'home and hearth'. And every single day, I learn a little bit more about home management. And most of it comes from my memories of how she used to manage our home.

In those days, the more respectable term 'home-maker' was rarely used. Mom had been a 'housewife' for me all my childhood. And yet, I never saw any regret in her about giving up her job offer as a university lecturer and staying at home to take care of us.

But me - I've had many many regrets.

I regret not being much of a help to her at home, refusing to eat greens, being lazy and stubborn, for wanting to watch TV all day long during holidays (there was no Internet at home in those days, otherwise I'd be blogging and youtube-ing all day), yelling at her, slamming doors, cribbing when asked to run an errand, thinking that good grades in school were my ticket out of housework, never learning to cook till I lived on my own and absolutely had to, being so difficult at times, and using tears as a counter-argument. Today, when people compliment my cooking, I think of all the times when I hung around the kitchen, never to help or learn, but to tell her what happened at school. I guess some things I subconsciously observed registered themselves for life because I remember them so well even now! But then I think of how much better a cook I would have been, if I had just shown some interest, if I'd just listened, if I'd just helped.

Today when I look back, and I think of all the things she said or did, followed by a "It's all for your own good." I understand. In those days, it was the most annoying statement ever, but now I know exactly what she meant.

Lately, the guilt has been really really getting to me. It would have taken so little to make her life so much easier. But I didn't.

Now that realisation has thwacked me on the head with the back of a non-stick saucepan, I can only hope to make up for all of it in the years to come.

I end with this particular video of the week (hat tip: Raam Pyari) because I hope this kid - though terribly cute - does not continue the argument when she grows up.



Video courtesy yarab85

Mom knows best. You never argue with Mom.




22 comments:

Thisisme said...

OMG !! cant blv ..i read the post n still the gold is mine :))))

and yes happy mom's day to all the mothers in the world :D

Thisisme said...

n wow..u did give a great gift to ur mom for today :):)

thats the best any granny could have asked for :)

me also missin my family n mom esp today..sigh!

n abt the growing up part..i guess v all go thru it..not realising many things..thats y its called growing up..i think its something which every1 goes thru....!

Thisisme said...

n in teeno comment ke saath...saare medals mere :D thenga to rest of the junta :P:P:P

V said...

A senti post? This is a change....

and I claim Silver, bronze and watever else is on offer.

creepa said...

bronze mine?[;)]

Raam Pyari said...

awwwww
*maxx waddda waala hug*

creepa said...

Mommies re the best!!
Last year i bought my mom a cracked-heel-healing creme :P ,but she used it once or twice[lack of time,she said] until i made it a point to apply it on her heels daily.
So,wen it comes to care,ive to b her mom[:P]!!

And cute video!
happy mother's day!

Manasi said...

Hey that video is sweet but I didn't understand a word of what was said :(
what language is that? And how old is that kid supposed to be, even to be acting that way! wow!

Sakshi said...

Aww. Nicely said. I have these moments now. I look back and think how I argued with Mom about everything, little realising that she was right! But life is learnt the hard way. If young ones took to the wisdom of adults so easily, we would be different creatures :)

Sayesha said...

#Thisisme,
Hahaha! Only one metal... errr I mean 'medal' per person... kya re, apun ke bar mein khud ke rules banati hai? :P

Regarding the growing up part, I agree, but I can't help wishing I'd been a bit more sensitive, a bit more considerate, a bit more cooperative :(

#V,
Oye apun senti posts nahin likhta kya?? :/

#Creepa,
Yeah :)

#Raam Pyari,
Thanks babe! :)

#Creepa,
Haha... that was so cute! My Mom lives too far away for me to do that! :'(
ps: Happy Mother's Day! :D

#Manasi,
Hahaha... neither did I! That's the beauty of the vid - you dun need to understand to see what's happening! :P Happy Mother's Day!

#Sakshi,
Hmmm... true, but sometimes I feel that's an excuse we use to escape guilt. At least as a teenager, I feel like I could/should have done better.

Janefield said...

lovely post! :) very warm and oh-so-true. you made your mom happy and that's one of the best gifts you could ever give her :-)

Thisisme said...

okies bhai..bar aapka ..rules aapke..par gold mera :D:D:D!!

btw..mein video par comment karna toh bhool hi gayi ...even though bahut nautanki bachi hai but hai bahut cute :))

Iday said...

cute video :)
And that was a great gift to ur mom :)

And reg ur childhood et al - dont feel so bad. Mom's understand :) Like you'll understand when, some day in the future, ur kid throws tantrums ;)

May be ur the bhai in the bar. but your "kaan ke neeche bajayenge ek" wont work that day :P

johnny said...

nice choice of gift. Definitely one of a kind.

Its a never ending cycle, starting with "My daddy strongest!" dialogues in primary, then going on to "Why cant my folks let me mind my own business?", and finally, when we join work, a guilt saying, "My folks had to go thru all this and still did all that for me? How rude I've been!". But dont worry, once you reach their current age, it would be like, "I sure hope i filled my parents' shoes well". ;)
I too am still in the guilt stage. :D

- Jon

Crazy Dhakkan said...

I'm touched. Most of the things you wrote, I have done/am doing. I guess everyone does that. And its only later that you grow up and realise where you were umm.. not right! :)

And the most amazing thing is that mothers always give us the unconditional love!

Oi, bas yaar.. mujhe zyada emotional matt bana! :-)

Sayesha said...

#Janefield,
Thanks :)

#Thisisme,
Haha ok ok chal maaf kiya! :D
ps: Yeah, the kid rocks! :P

#Iday,
Yeah, that's what makes it even sadder - that Moms understand. Sigh.

#Johnny,
Yeah, I guess you're right. And oh, join the guilt-club! :)

#Crazy Dhakkan,
Hehehe... thanks :)

Neihal said...

for the nth time you must be reading this, "so true" :D

So it is a universal phenomenon then, and I am not the only one guilty of giving my mom a tough time. And I agree with how we make our Mom the standard, everything I cook, I know it is good if it tastes anything like my Mom's cooking. I had a series of flashbacks after getting married :D

Rebellion said...

And I thought I was the only nikammi one to trouble her mom, not help her, sit idling the whole day, get irritated n wot not! Even though I got company, doesn't make me less guilty! Sheesh. I hate myself when reality thru such flashback strikes!

Good post. Glad you could give it back to your mom, at least to some extent :) Very cute video :)

Iday said...


Yeah, that's what makes it even sadder - that Moms understand. Sigh.

no it is not sad. It is just the natural thing to happen :)

kids arent kids if they dont make their mom's life miserable ;)

raghu said...

but why on mothers day.. why do we need these "special days"?

Bivas said...

loved the video :D ;-)
hv been njoing ghar n moms khaana for the past few days so thoda late ho gaya post reading complete karne mein

Sayesha said...

#Neihal,
Yup, totally agree! :)

#Rebellion,
Welcome to the club of nikammas and nikammis! :D

#Iday,
Hahahaha! Wait till you become a dad! :D

#Raghu,
I agree - we don't need such 'special days'. Just that when newspapers and TV screens are screaming "Mother's Day" all over the place, you get reminded, that's all :)