The (NR)I-ndian defence force

So one of my professors in my Master’s class was telling us about this book called 'Negative News' which basically talks about how the media in developed countries only seems to report bad news from developing countries. Floods, famines, coups, bombings. Such news not only establishes certain images of certain countries, but it also reinforces existing stereotypes about these nations. I'm sure not everyone in Somalia is starving. I'm sure not every girl in Venezuela is born with a fabulous body, has a head that is customised to just about nicely fit the Miss Universe crown, and can't speak English. But that's the image of these countries I had in my head for the longest time, reinforced again and again by the media.

The professor was telling us about his days in the US. In one of his undergrad classes, he was talking about using a hair dryer, and a hand shot up.

"Dr S, you mean you have hair dryers in India??"

Pat came the Prof's reply. "Yes, we may live on trees. But somehow we have hair dryers."

One of my classmates also shared her experience. She told us of the time when she had gone to Princeton for a seminar. When the speaker found out she was from India, she asked my classmate, "Do you have electricity in India?"

I remember the time when I had just entered Singapore. One of my classmates in my first year who was very curious about my origins, asked me, "Oh, you're from India! So back home do you travel on elephants and stuff?"

"Elephants? Sure, I used to go to school on one." I said.

My class had many international students and I was surprised at the image they had of India. At first I used to get really pissed off when I encountered such questions. Especially when the person who asked the question was disappointed to learn that India was not really the jungle he/she thought it to be. "Oh you mean Indians can speak English? Darn!"

So within my first few days here, I'd figured sarcasm was the best way to get through such situations.

I had a list.

"Yes, we kill all the female infants at birth. Except, of course, those who look like they're gonna bring home the Miss Universe or Miss World crown."

"Oh yeah, my dad is a snake-charmer. All dads in India are. You didn't know that?? Really??"

"Yeah, it's our culture to sing and dance around coconut trees. Our ancient texts specifically mention it."

"Yeah, that's how we wear a sari. We lay it flat on the floor, lie down against one edge and just roll and roll till we reach the other end."

"Bathroom? What's that? In India, we use a pail to fetch water from the village well and then sit there and bathe."

"Cows wandering on the roads?? Oh no no, they're traffic policecows - government employees."

"No, we don't have drinking water in India. Sorry."

A few years later, when wisdom sank in, I realised that I'm probably doing the same thing that the media was doing - reinforcing the stereotypes about how primitive India was. So I changed my strategy. To one which I called the 'BUT - HAH!' strategy.

"Yes, many people in India are illiterate. BUT you should thank your stars they are. If they were literate, India would take over the global IT industry. HAH!"

"Yes, our government is very unstable. BUT we don't have morons running our country like many other countries in the world. Do you know how qualified some of our leaders are? Our president is a nuclear scientist. HAH!"

"Yes, you guys earn more than us and live in more comfort. BUT we know how to chill - we know how to stop and smell the flowers. HAH!"

"Yes, many people are very poor. BUT have you seen how some of our sportsmen who come from poor backgrounds kick ass? HAH!"

"Yes, many of our TV serials are stupid and cliched and uncreative. BUT our ads more than make up for them. If you see the level of creativity in Indian ads, you'd die of shame. HAH!"

"Yes, we learn Sanskrit - a dead language - in school. BUT we invented zero. HAH!"

"Yes, there are tiny villages in remote corners of my country. BUT the capital city of my country is bigger than your entire country. HAH!"

"Yes, violence is rampant in India. BUT did you see how fast Mumbai sprang back to its feet after the train blasts? HAH!"

"Yes, we sing and dance at weddings a la Bollywood movies. BUT that's just our way of preserving our culture. What's yours? HAH!"

In time, I realised that some of it was so lame. I felt like I was being too defensive and not really addressing the stereotype. At times I felt like I wasn't even qualified to defend India. Having lived comfortably for the past 8 years in the 'air-conditioned island-country' enjoying a full sponsorship from the Singapore government, perhaps I was not even qualified to talk about India's problems. Perhaps it's easy for me to make grand statements in the defence of India because I don't live there, like the millions of people who struggle with life on a daily basis do. Perhaps I don't even know what the real problems are. What I do know is that things are changing for the better. It's not like India enjoys its problems. India is fighting them and it's not an easy task. The factors that affect development in India are specific to India. There's no point comparing it with how fast other nations are developing.

So I'm changing my strategy again. There is no point hiding the negativities behind the positivities. They will never balance each other out. Every country has things that make its citizen proud and things that embarass them. There is always some good and some bad. And repeating the good things again and again will not make the bad things go away. We have to celebrate the good things and acknowledge the bad things and try and change them. Like they said in Rang De Basanti "Koi bhi desh mahaan nahin hota, usey mahaan banana padta hai." ("No country is born great, we have to make it great.")

So yes, we have too many people in my country. Yes, the pollution level in some cities is so bad people have to wear masks. Yes, summers can get so hot and winters so cold that people who live on the streets die. Oh, did I mention that many people live on the streets? Yes, we have street dogs. Yes, cows on the street often disrupt traffic in many cities. Yes, it's been more than 50 years and we've not yet resolved our problems with our neighbour. Yes, if you're a girl walking on the road by yourself, you will most probably encounter tuneless singing of songs in your praise by eve-teasing roadside romeos. Yes, some people chain themselves to their suitcases when they're travelling in trains in order to still find them there when they wake up the next morning. Yes, the water in some cities is so hard, you have to boil it just to shampoo your hair. Yes, our politicians fling chairs at one another during parliament sessions. Yes, there are cities where you do not have electricity 24 hours a day. Yes, the monsoon can bring the entire system of some cities to a complete standstill. Yes, there is firing across the border every single day. Yes, many of our roads have more potholes than speed bumps. Yes, bombs and guns go off almost every day in my country, killing innocent people.

So yes, my country still has many many problems.

You mean yours doesn't have any?