Sunday, July 17, 2005

Split personality? Me? Well, we beg to differ.

Sayesha and Starbreez are watching 'Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na' on a relaxed Saturday afternoon at Sayesha's place.

Enter the house owner's agent with two people who want to view the house.

"Already?? Geez, it's already happening! We really will be kicked out of this place in two weeks?" Emotional Sayesha shudders.

Practical Sayesha plays it cool and says, "It had to happen. We knew it was going to happen. Take it easy now."

The prospective tenants ask, "So do buses go to the city from here?" Before Emotional Sayesha can open her mouth, Practical Sayesha has answered at once, "Yes. lots of buses. Half an hour to Orchard Road. 20 minutes to Suntec. Even the MRT is a short bus ride away."

Prospective tenants look very happy.

Emotional Sayesha rolls up a hypothetical newspaper and thwacks Practical Sayesha's head with it.

"What is wrong with you, you moron??? Did you just market the house away??"

"Ouch!" says Practical Sayesha. "Well, yes. It's true, isn't it?"

"True, my foot! Do you want to continue living in this house or not?" says a very angry Emotional Sayesha.

"Well, I would like to. But we have no choice, do we?" Practical Sayesha is still rubbing the bump on her head with a pained expression.

"We could get another month's extension. But not if you go and market the house like that to prospective morons who think they deserve to live in this house!"

"Well, they asked me about the buses! What do you expect me to say??"

"Just say that this is the most ulu (Malay word for 'remote and backward') place in Singapore. There are no trains and no buses. It takes you two hours to walk to work every day."

"Ahem..." says Practical Sayesha.

Emotional Sayesha sits on the couch and sulks.

Half an hour later, more people come to view the house.

Emotional Sayesha looks at them like she's going to kill them. Practical Sayesha smiles at them.

Emotional Sayesha says, "Could you not do that? I can't handle the conflict in expressions!"

"Well, they may be living in this house soon. Be nice!"

"Living in this house? I think not! We live in this house, okay? This is our house!"

"Well, it's not."

"Hmmm... Maybe we could buy it??"

"With your current job? I see your sense of humour has not deserted you even in such a stressful situation."

Emotional Sayesha sits on the couch and sulks.

Half an hour later, the agent calls again, "Would you be in the house around 5 this evening? Some more people are coming to view the house."

Practical Sayesha has picked up the phone. Emotional Sayesha whispers furiously, "Tell her you won't be in!" and threateningly holds up the rolled-up hypothetical newspaper over Practical Sayesha's head.

"I can't!" Practical Sayesha whispers back.
"Yes, I'll be in." She speaks into the phone.

Emotional Sayesha shakes her head in disbelief. THWACK!

"Let's dirty the house at least! No one would want to live here then!"

Practical Sayesha preaches, "Oh come on, remember the time we came to view the house? We liked it because the earlier tenant had maintained it really well. If it had been dirty, we wouldn't have moved in. Then you wouldn't have fallen in love with it!"

"Oh cut the crap, miss-goody-two-shoes! I don't want anyone liking this place, understood? Period." says Emotional Sayesha. She goes back to sulking on the couch.

By evening about ten people have come and viewed the house.

The last batch of viewers leaves.

Emotional Sayesha bursts into tears.

Practical Sayesha thunks her head against the wall in slow, repeated motions.


Princessse said...

This is so well written... I had a vivid image of all that happened as u described it... but more importantly, it's written with so much pain and angst, despite the humor in it... i feel for u :(...

... princessse has left the room...

head bowed down...

Sayesha said...

Wow, thanks, Princesse. I was wondering if I got the pain within the self-conflict across. Because at the end of the day, I think I'm the impractical emotional Sayesha who bawled for half an hour over a house that's not hers. But it's the first house of her adult life, and she believes that no one except her deserves to live in it.

Leon said...

I guess I'm going to feel the same way about my dorm room when I finally graduate and leave... :-)

Sahil said...

Is emotional Sayesha still sulking?

Emotional Sayesha sounds pretty cool. She should start sabataging Practical Sayesha's plans. Placing some booby-trap's around the house for unsuspecting visitors perhaps?

After all it IS her house. So what if she doesn't own it. Doesn't mean someone else can waltz in and take it away. Pracitcal Sayesha kuch samajhti hi nahin.

But seriously, its sad you're going to have to move out. The end of an era, but every end is a new beginning.

Bonatellis said...

THIS is a very interesting piece ...

Anonymous said...

Hey very vividly described...I could actually picture the two of YOU...abs hilarious..

Anonymous said...

I still think there's only 1 Sayesha. Practical Sayesha is not a different person... it's just Sayesha's portal to the world! Why would she thunk her head against the wall if she didn't feel the same way as ES?

Don't worry, you'll make it through. You said so yourself...

This is me, the real Sayesha. The one who appreciates the simple joys of life. The one who lives every moment. The one who appreciates emotions. The one who is not going to stop loving people for fear of getting hurt. And that is how she has chosen to live her life. That's the only way to live.

Finally, Sayesha has figured out how to get hurt and survive.

Princessse said...

:) well said viv

Sayesha said...

Right you are, my friend. I'd much rather bawl my heart out and thunk my head on the wall than walk out of the house without so much as a tear.

And Survivor Sayesha, that's probably the third one! ;)

R said...

So many Sayeshas around....Mind Boggling !! :))

Sayesha said...

Haha! There's many many more out there, Mr Quipster! :)

If you find this mind-boggling, you should hear the debates between Cynic Sayesha and Romantic Sayesha!

Princessse said...

I only have one thing left to say to you Sayesha - Mirror or mirage? Am sure you understand why I say that :). Herein may also lie the answer to why sometimes I have gaps in my blogging...

musafir said...

Sometimes the conflict makes it difficult to decipher who the real "you" is. Especially when there are so many "you"s!!

Nice post this. liked the way you've brought out the personalities. Made for very interesting reading indeed!

You have a good blog -- will be back.