F.R.I.E.N.D.S forever

Irritated voice - “Offo! Yeh India kab jaayega??”

Okay, so who says this about one of their closest friends?

We do. Especially when we’re waiting for said friend to go to India so we can plan his surprise birthday party in peace.

Shub and I had been discussing a F.R.I.E.N.D.S-themed birthday party for Pizzadude for the longest time. If there’s anyone I knew who was a bigger F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan than me, it’s him. Of course, I was yet to meet Urv (yet to meet him still) back then. But we’d always referred to Pizzadude as Joey, mainly because of his love for food, especially pizzas. We even christened his flatmates Shub and Sumanth as Monica and Chandler, while Viv and I were Mike and Phoebe respectively.

Yeah, so plans had been on for months. We had created a shared google spreadsheet where we kept jotting down ideas as and when they struck us. Most of them originated, of course, from Shub and me. Viv and Sumanth were also in the threads, but beyond earning the title of ‘useless lazybums’, they did not do much. Till the last minute. Of course.

So finally Pizzadude went to India for a vacation, and we met up one evening at our place, sat at the dining table complete with notepad (No, I wasn’t sitting atop a tree) and pens, finalising the plans and division of work. The plan was to do a ‘fake birthday celebration’, i.e. have dinner with him on his birthday and leave early, and then break into his house before he got back and do the whole surprise hoo-haa aka ‘the real birthday party’. The programme included setting up his place like ‘Central Perk’, a flatmate quiz, and a F.R.I.E.N.D.S-themed treasure hunt. Urv was the absent party to all of this planning and I kept him constantly updated and constantly jealous.

I had prepared the questions for the flatmate quiz and sent them on to Shub and Sumanth to get the answers. Shub had scouted places to get a whole cheesecake and sorted through hazaar photos to put a video together. Both of us were furiously looking for an ugly gold bracelet. Those who are F.R.I.E.N.D.S fans will know why.

Sumanth and Viv, on the other hand, were extremely busy sitting on their asses. Even though they were in charge of the treasure hunt, Shub and I did not hear a chirp from them.

Closer to the date, email discussions were in full force. One of the threads was amongst the planners, while one was on with the plannee to decide on the time and venue for dinner, etc. The email thread between the planners was peppered with conversations such as these:

Sash - Lazybum guys, how's the treasure hunt going? :P

Sumanth - we have made quite a bit of progress on this.. we want it to be a surprise for everyone, so no details will be divulged until the event takes place… that way everyone will be genuinely surprised & not acting surprised :)

Shub - captain subtext : "OH SHIT WE TOTALLY FORGOT!! WE BETTER GET CRACKING RIGHTAWAY! You reply to the email and act casual while I start working on the clues!" :P

Sash - Totally with Shub here!!!!

Viv - I agree with my buddy... It's all about the surprise. In fact, if you see our faces on the day, you'd think even we didn't know what was coming up...!

Shub - I'm paranoid one of these emails will somehow end up being sent to Pizzadude as well! I keep double checking the list! :-/

Sash - Me tooooo!! I check and then count! :P

I had got one of my designer ex-colleagues to pass me the F.R.I.E.N.D.S font which I installed and used to prepare small labels with the letters in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. The plan was to pin it on our shirts, and sit in that order on the couch when he first entered the house and saw us. I had also done up the ‘Central Perk’ poster to be stuck on the wall, and finally, after much hunting in Bugis, found the ugliest gold bracelet on the planet.

I wrote ‘Best bud’ on it with a permanent marker.


I put it inside an old bulb holder and nicely wrapped it up...


...to serve as the 'fake gift' from Viv and me.

Shub and Sumanth had also got their fake gift ready, an awesomely funny apron that said, "I'm even better in bed." They were also busy subtly convincing Pizzadude to pick a restaurant close to our homes for dinner. Viv was to pretend that he had a conference call to take from home, so needed to go back early after a quick dinner.

Initially, Shub and I also wanted to do a parody to the song ‘Smelly cat’ (I’m Phoebe, but she’s the guitarist in the group). We came up with a few drafts, but because this is a family bar (okay that sounds like a soap!), I will only post the uncensored stanza here.

Pizza dude Pizza dude
Why are you obsessed with food?
Pizza dude Pizza dude
It’s not your fault!

So the night before the party, Shub was to pick up the cheesecake and drop it off at our place so Pizzadude didn’t stumble onto it when he opened the fridge. She was also to pick up our gift for him (all gifts were to be presented to him together at the end of the treasure hunt), a bottle of Jim Beam to spike his coke, the Central Perk poster and the F.R.I.E.N.D.S labels. However, she got a shock to see that the cheesecake place had closed down. No other place could do a whole cheesecake at one day’s notice.

Frantic phonecalls and sms messages later, Viv managed to buy one near his office. We decided that instead of Shub coming over, Viv would go over with the stuff the next morning after Pizzadude had left for work.

So on the evening of his birthday, we were all at the Thai restaurant Lemongrass after work. V, Pizzadude’s ex-flatmate, and also Shub’s colleague (he was the guy who had helped us plant the inappropriate card in Shub’s office for her surprise party) was there with his mom. And he had brought along this guy (henceforth referred to as the ‘rebound flatmate Eddie’) who is replacing Pizzadude in his old place. I was pretty certain V had got him along to show off to Pizzadude, “So what if you left us? Hmmmph! We found someone new. Look look!”

Anyway, before Pizzadude got to the restaurant, I had explained to V his lines.

“So when he opens the door, we’ll all be on the couch and yell, 'HOW YOU DOIN’?' Okay?”

“Okay, done!” said V, very enthusiastically.

Barely a minute later, he asks, “Hey, what are we supposed to say when he opens the door?”

*thunk thunk thunk head on wall*

“HOW YOU DOIN’?” I repeated.

"Okay!"

Anyway, while Pizzadude cut his ‘fake birthday cake’ (a lovely blackforest cake that V had got), we indulged in some undertable activities to get the house keys from Shub.

Viv and I left at about 8.50 “as Viv’s conference call with the US office was at 9 pm.” We gave him the fake gift and I said, "You can't open it now, okay? Go home and open it!" and Viv even did a most sincere 'good boy' rendition of "Bye, Aunty!" to V's mom, even though he was going to see her again in half an hour.

So Viv and I quickly got a cab and rushed to their house. We hid our shoes and set up the camera, etc. Initially, we were supposed to pin the F.R.I.E.N.D.S labels on our shirts, but we figured Shub and Sumanth may not have the time to do that as they were coming together with Pizzadude. So we replaced the coloured sheets of paper that Viv and Sumanth had placed as clues at different locations in the house with the F.R.I.E.N.D.S labels. So now, the clues would have to be given out in the order F-R-I-E-N-D-S.

The Central Perk poster

Soon, V, his mom and B had also reached. We switched off the lights and took our positions. V whispered, “Hey, so what are we supposed to say when he walks in?” I resisted the desire to strangle him.

Apparently, Pizzadude had gone to buy a phonecard so Shub and Sumanth actually reached before him.

Soon, we were all in position and the house was dark.

Enter the birthday boy...

Pizzadude walked in, and we yelled “HOW YOU DOIN’?” just as he switched on the light.

He was surprised all right. The chap couldn’t stop grinning. Then he saw the Central Perk poster on the wall and burst out laughing. When we told him it was only the beginning, he was very excited.

So we started with the flatmate quiz. Shub had prepared a very special drink for him (let’s just say only 10% of it was Coke), in a very special F.R.I.E.N.D.S-style giant coffee cup, and he had to take a huge gulp with each question he was asked.

I must say he did pretty well in the quiz, even though we asked him some toughies like “What is Sumanth’s mom’s name?”

Next up was the treasure hunt. Somehow, the two guys had managed to put the clues together. Pizzadude was to find the clues one by one, and carry out the task given with each.

Q: What did Joey and Chandler decide never to switch off?

A: Sure enough, the first clue was under the TV.

Pizzadude's task: Talk to two nodding dolls in the living room as if they were the duck and the chick.

Q: Where would you hide ‘The shining’?

A: The freezer
Notice the green book under the tub of ice-cream? Months ahead of the birthday, Shub had picked up a copy of the Velveteen Rabbit!

Pizzadude's task: ‘Smell the fart’ acting

Q: If you were to eat yesterday’s pizza, where would you put it first?

A: Microwave oven

Pizzadude's task: Show us how Joey reacted when he first found out about Monica and Chandler.

Q: What did Joey raid when Chandler wouldn’t return his underwear?

A: Chandler’s Sumanth's wardrobe

Pizzadude's task: Wear all of Chandler’s clothes (underwear on, please!) and do the lunges.

Q: What would you associate with Joey's five second rule?

A: The N was under the carpet.

Pizzadude's task: Say ‘How you doin’? in five languages, including one as Dr. Rajkumar wooing someone called "Paaaaarvathy", and Rajnikanth (we forced him to enact that using swimming goggles. It was UBER-HILARIOUS!). Of course, videos were taken, but unfortunately, cannot be posted.

Q: Where did Monica meet Joey’s dad?

A: The bathroom

Pizzadude's task: Wear the ugly gold bracelet and show Joey’s reaction when he wore it.

Q: What is the first thing you associate with Phoebe?

Pizzadude's task: Guitar (and the orange bag next to it had all the gifts)


Finally, all the clues were together.

The treasure hunt ended with him getting all his real gifts. Shub and Sumanth had got him an iPod-shuffle (he was thrilled as it was his first iPod), while Viv and I got him a DIY Spanish learning course (he’d been talking about learning Spanish for the longest time).

The Spanish course also had MP3 audio lessons, so I was thrilled that he would be able to use both gifts at once!

Next, we brought out the Oreo cheesecake.

The birthday boy makes a wish.

We attacked the cheesecake directly with forks and spoons instead of cutting it into slices. (No, we did not eat it off the floor. ‘Monica’ would have killed us.)

Rebound flatmate Eddie kept saying, “This is so cool! Why are my birthdays so boring???” Yeahahahaha! :D

Next, we played the video, which was so hilarious we watched it twice! It started off with Pizzadude showing off his muscles in a photo and the background song went, “Hai muscular! Hai popular! Spectacular, yeh hai bachelor!” and then went on to show him looking very distraught when the song went, “But Pappu can’t dance sala!”

The second half of the video had the song “I’ll be there for you” and featured some random photos with all of us. Fantastic job, Shub and Sumanth! Rocking video!

Soon, everyone else left and it was just us, the planners and the planee, sitting back, exhausted, digging into the cheesecake and generally smiling a lot. The planners were smiling because the plan had been successful, and the planee was smiling because...

...let's just say the empty cup speaketh for itself. Yup, I have friends in 'high' places.

And then Viv said something that caused a moment of SSS (Serious Senti Silence) in the room.

“Imagine… if not for blogs, all of us would have never met.”

*gulp*

The makers

So the answer to the last post is: Maang Loonga Main Tujhe Taqdeer Se

*ducks to avoid shoes thrown by bewdas*

And the grand prizes for the correct guess go to A G and Sowmya!

*collects the shoes thrown at her and throws them at A G and Sowmya*

I quite enjoyed doing this tag because in my search for 'bloggable photos of non-living things', I found quite a few random photos. Sample these for example.

Something I made from scratch

Something Viv made from scratch

Picture-risk

So I have been tagged by AG. The tag is to get the 6th photo from the 6th photo folder on your computer and tell its story.

So when I opened the 6th photo of my 6th photo folder, it turned out to be a group picture taken at my office. Obviously, I can't post that on my blog so I did what I usually do with tags - make my own modifications to it. (In fact, sometimes it becomes a totally different tag altogether.)

I decided on an addendum to the tag - to pick the 6th photo that has only non-living things in it. Much filtering and counting later, I arrived at the one.

This photo was taken when Viv, Pizzadude, Shub and I were playing pictionary, and Viv suggested we make some modifications to the rule (no, he didn't get that trait from me!). The new rule that was the person had to draw the entire thing without any conversation with the 'guessers'. Even after drawing every possible thing he/she could to get the guessers to guess, the 'drawer' couldn't talk to the 'guessers'. So either you draw it right, or you run the risk of screwing your guessers over. It was awesome fun!

So when my turn came, I drew as many keywords from the song as possible and then crossed my fingers and sat back. I was so thrilled when my guessers guessed this one, I had to take a picture!

Can you guess the song depicted in the picture below?







Click on the picture for a larger view.

A matter of time

So I found this guy on Facebook, and went "OH MY GOD, is that him???"

Yes, it was. It was my tuition kid from almost a decade ago.

*Flashback begins*

It was the spring of 2001.

(Kaahe ka spring, I pause to ask myself. Who am I kidding? Singapore ain't got no spring-shring!)

So... it was the 'same-old-drab-season' of 2001.

I was doing my internship at Exxonmobil. My only memories of my internship consisted of my cute boss and the fact that they really did pay us interns a lot for not doing much. There were no classes that semester so I had a lot of free time in the evenings. I'd go over to this professor's house and tutor his kid in Science, Maths and Urdu (spoken -- it's not as difficult as it sounds). It was a family of 6 - the Pakistani professor, his Australian wife, and their four amazingly beautiful kids.

The fourth kid was only an infant. Baby S. She had started to recognise me and would actually smile at me! This was way before I had my niece baby Aish in my life and back then, to actually have a baby smile at me was a totally earth-shattering experience for me.

My tuition kid (let's call him J) was nine years old. He was a bright kid who enjoyed his lessons. I'd time him on his Maths sums using my mobile phone and he'd go, "Wait wait! Give me 5 seconds more!" I had the prehistoric Nokia 3310 in those days, anyone remember it? 'The blue brick' they called it. J was fascinated by the phone and often wanted to time me with it as I explained sums to him, the cheeky chap.

Soon, the semester was over. The final year of engineering doesn't really give one much time for tuitions. I was busy with classes and my final year project, and discontinued the tuitions. And that was the last I saw of J and his family.

*Flashback ends*

So when I found this tall, lanky teenager on Facebook, I could not believe it was my little tuition kid J. He remembered me and told me all about himself, and how he is going to university next year. University!

"How is baby S?" I asked. He told me how baby S is of course, no longer a baby, but is a child model for Singapore tourism, and was on the billboards all over India two years ago.

And that's when I felt it.

You know how we roll our eyes when an aunty or an uncle comes up to us and says, "Oh my god!!! You have grown soooo much! I can't believe it! You were a baby/kid when I saw you!!"

I guess now I can relate to them. Finally. Call it age or whatever you will, but to see someone you knew as a kid, in their grown-up avtaar is truly one of the most amazing things ever.

Even though we know it's a perfectly natural phenomenon -- time passes, kids grow up -- it still is quite unbelievable.

I hereby resolve not to make fun of the uncles and aunties anymore. :/

Bindaas in Bintan

During our recent Bintan trip, Viv and I discovered things about each other we hadn't known in the last decade of knowing each other.

I discovered that Viv has a phobia of snakes. Simply put, they make him go EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Viv discovered that I should never ever be allowed on the driver's seat of any aquatic vehicle. Simply put, they make me go WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Both of us discovered after being flung off our jetski into the middle of the south China sea that lifejackets are indeed LIFE jackets.

Hop over to Hopscotch (use links on the right to navigate) for more!

Sunny side up

Me (about my nephew) - He's so polite and respectful for his age. They don't make teenagers like that anymore, you know. He has what I call "sanskaar" (values). 

You (almost offended) - Hey! I have sanskaar too!

Me (teasing) - Oh yeah? Where??

You (pointing at your face, sunburnt from all that cricket) - See? Right here. SUN SCAR.

***

Ahem. You know what?

I don't love you for your jokes.

I love you in spite of them.

Happy second anniversary, you dhakkan. May the madness never stop. :D

Success(ion) planning

So Sayesha Smitten Showbiz Kitten (SSSK) found out about a secret meeting called 'Bollywood boyz' (yes, she did pause to roll her eyes) and decided to do some investigation.

"Boyz... sheesh." She said to herself as she climbed the tree outside Harman Baweja's house at 10 in the night. But her extensive tree-climbing experience made the task very easy and soon she was perched on one of the branches and taking notes.

So John Abraham is standing at the door with his hands on his hips, as the designated bouncer for the night. Harman Baweja, Hrithik Roshan, Riteish Deshmukh, Viveik Oberoi, Abhishek Bachchan, Imran Khan, Shreyas Talpade, Emraan Hashmi and Ranbir Kapoor are sitting around the bar in the living room and drinking away.

Shreyas - Guys guys... stop now. We need to focus. This is like our tenth meeting and we have not done anything so far.

SSSK almost falls off the branch to hear that she has not been kept in the loop of the earlier nine meetings.

Ranbir - Ugh! I can't quite remember what happened in the last nine. I was too drunk I think. Somebody tell me.

Harman - Sigh... okay fine. We have gathered here, for the tenth time to discuss our careers. The old blood, aka the bloody buddhas are ruling Bollywood and we, the young blood, are sitting joblessly at home.

Hrithik - Yes, so the plan is to take the sensible route and embrace the fact that...

Ranbir - ...that hamara kuchh nahin ho sakta.

Hrithik smacks him on the head.

Hrithik - No! Sheesh. Not that. We should embrace the fact that the buddhas are going to stick around for another decade or so, and trying to compete with them would be foolish.

Imran - Yes, and so it would be wise for us to do something else for the next ten years -- start a business partnership maybe -- and when the... ahem... seniors are.. erm... you know... we take over.

Ranbir - I love this idea. I love you guys. Not in the same way as Deepika, but I love you guys.

Emraan - Bewda saala... the important thing is for us to stay united, and ten years later when we get our chance, not to back-stab one another. So I say we each pick one of the seniors we would like to replace, and simply slip into their shoes. That way no one competes with one another.

Harman - Great idea. Shall we start by making a list of all the errr... seniors, and picking whom each of us is going to replace?

Abhishek Bachchan starts writing down names on a whiteboard.

Viveik (really drunk) - Buddhe saale... ek pair kabr mein hai, doosre pair se movie contract sign kar rahe hain... na marte hain na humko kaam karne dete hain!

Shreyas - Calm down, Viveik. What is this yaar?

Viveik (blushing) - Nahin woh toh main... thoda angry young man... I am going for Amitabh Bachchan, you see.

Abhishek - *COUGH COUGH*

Viveik - What?

Abhishek - *COUGH COUGH COUGH*

Viveik - WHAT?!

Hrithik - Errr.. Viveik, I think you should let Abhishek take this one.

Viveik (really really drunk) - Kyun?? Iska baap lagta hai woh??

Everyone calms Viveik down and makes him sit on the couch. A bucket is put next to him.

Suddenly there's some commotion at the door. Apparently there's an uninvited visitor.

John - Excuse me? May I help you?

Mystery visitor (takes off his cap) - Hey Johnny! It's me, Himesh!

John - Arre Himeshbhai! Topi mein maine aapko pehchana hi nahin! Batao kya haal?

Himesh - Suna hai yahan koi meeting ho rahi hai?

John - Haan woh aise hi... daaru party hai...

Himesh - Arre Johnny, you don't have to hide it from me. Actually I know what it is. And I want to join too. I feel that I have the same grudge as you guys. In fact, we are all in the same boat. And the fact that the group is called 'Bollywood Boyzzzz' has made my decision stronger.

John (glares) - It's not 'Bollywood Boyzzzz', it's 'Bollywood Boyz'. Ek hi Z hai. Unlike your Karzzzz. Chalo niklo yahan se. Kahan kahan se aa jaate hain middle-aged log wanting to be part of 'Bollywood Boyz'...

Himesh - Haan haan, ja raha hoon. Johnny gaddaar! Dekh loonga tum sabko!

Himesh leaves.

Emraan - Well done, bouncer John! Anyway... so we have Amitabh, Shah Rukh, Salman, Aamir, Ajay, Akshay and Saif.

Riteish - Holy shit. Seven versus ten?

Viveik - Ten? Arre don't count the bouncer yaar. 

Riteish - Oh yeah! Though I wonder if John is beginning to get the drift that we never count him... 

Abhishek - Ahem. Woh saat aur hum nau??!! Bahut naainsafi hai!

Viveik - Abbe! Gabbar ki acting karega toh tujhe Amitabh ki position nahin mil jaayegi. Asli Gabbar was Amjad Khan!

Abhishek - Shhhh! Dad ke saamne aisa galti se bhi mat bol dena! He is very touchy about his Gabbar in RGV's Aag. He still gets into that character at times and makes all of us address him as sardaar. It's so annoying!

Ranbir - Mere ko tere par bharosa nahin hai. Abhi aise bol raha hai, baad mein baap ki side par ho jayega.

Abhishek - Sigh, I wish. Everytime I star in a movie, either he's in it, or he's in another one with a hotter chick. He's been elbowing me out for so long now, that's it! He says I have let the good Bachchan name down. I have to do something for my own career now. I will do anything I have to!

Shreyas - Anyway... So what we do about this seven versus nine situation?

Harman - I was thinking...

Hrithik (in a sarcastic tone) - Oh you do that too?

Harman glares at Hrithik.

Ranbir (addressing Hrithik and Harman) - Hey guys... I think you should forget your differences... which are actually about your similarities... oh wait, what was I saying originally?

Everyone ignores him.

Harman - Look Hrithik, there is a workaround. See I have almost replaced you anyway. There can be only one of us. You have tried your luck, now it's my turn. So I say I will replace Hrithik Roshan.

Hrithik - Saale... I am right here!

Harman - Yaar tera toh kuchh hua nahin... maybe I can achieve the heights that our face, body and dancing are truly worthy of.

Hrithik - Our?! So you admit! Ha! He admits!

Hrithik is heartbroken to see that no one could care less.

Emraan - Anyway, baaki log bolo yaar.

Shreyas - I was thinking... Ajay Devgan... we have so many similarities... we're both not much of lookers... and boy, can we act or what.

Ranbir - Ajay Devgan?! Tu aur Ajay Devgan? Can you ride two motorbikes at once? Ajay ki entry kaise hui thi yaad hai? Tu toh rickshey par aana! Bada aaya Ajay Devgan! What is this art film guy doing here anyway?? Who invited him??

Abhishek - What about you, Imran?

Imran (shrugs his shoulders) - Mamu, who else?

Abhishek - Why? Because Mamu said so?

Imran (shrugs his shoulders again) - Yeah, what else?

Viveik - Riteish, mere ko toh Amitabh mil gaya. Tujhko kaun mila?

Riteish - I'm thinking Salman Khan... goofy character... I can do that.

Ranbir - Abbe! Body dekhi hai Salman ki? Woh body hai toh tu dead body hai!

Bouncer John (from the door) - Guys! Talking of body... (flexes his biceps)

Ranbir - Abbe chup! You can't speak today. Just do what Shilpa Shetty asked you to do!

John - Huh? What did Shilpa Shetty ask me to do?

Ranbir (starts singing) - Shut up and bounce baby bounce...

This goes on for two hours, and finally the meeting is concluded. Without any conclusions. The date of the next meeting is fixed and everyone leaves.

SSSK - Argh! Everyone is off in a different direction. Main kiska peechha karoon??

Suddenly she sees a hooded figure on foot. Realising that she has no other means of transport, she starts following him.

The hooded figure walks for a long long time before he reaches a bungalow. SSSK stealthily walks behind him, and when he rings the doorbell, she hides in the bushes.

The door opens and the hood comes off.

"Abhishek Bachchan!" she gasps.

Taking out her notebook, she makes herself comfortable amongst the bushes and starts furiously writing.

She lets out another gasp when she sees the occupants of that room. Amitabh, Shah Rukh, Salman, Aamir, Amitabh, Ajay, Akshay and Saif.

Amitabh - You are late.

Abhishek - Dad, aap gaadi de dete toh...

Amitabh - Shut up. If you derserved a gaadi, you'd have a gaadi.

Abhishek murmurs to himself.

Amitabh (in Gabbar mode again) - Kitne aadmi they?

Abhishek (rolls his eyes but decides to humour him) - Nau, sardaar.

Amitabh - WHAT?! Nau sardaar?? Bollywood mein itne sardaar kab se aa gaye?? Woh sala Jimmy Shergill bhi pahunch gaya kya? Hainnn??

Abhishek - No, Dad. Nau comma sardaar. Bouncer ko count nahin kiya.

Amitabh - Achha achha. And what was the outcome?

Abhishek - Same as before.

Shah Rukh - Haha! The 10-year plan, eh?

Abhishek - Yeah. We're going to wait another decade and each of us will replace one of you.

Amitabh - Hahahahahahahaha!

Shah Rukh - Hahahahahahahaha!

Aamir - Hahahahahahahaha!

Salman - Hahahahahahaha! Errr.. wait, why are we laughing again? Shouldn't we be coming up with a counter-plan?

Aamir - Abbe dhakkan! Dus saal mein toh apne bachhe bade ho jayenge!

Amitabh (looks at Abhishek) - Sigh... hopefully.

Abhishek glares at the carpet.

Shah Rukh - That's right! Dus saal mein toh apne bachhe bade ho jayenge! And they will take over us!

Amitabh (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Shah Rukh (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Aamir (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Akshay (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Ajay (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Saif (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha!

Salman (Ravan-style laughter) - Muahahahahahahaha! (looks around the room at all of them and suddenly realises something) OH SHIT!!

He takes out his mobile phone and dials a number.

Salman - Hello Katrina... erm... guess what? I'm about to say something that you have been waiting for. This is going to make you very very happy...

String quartet

I'd seen this video sometime last year, but this morning Viv was playing it on youtube and I remembered how this had blown me away the first time I'd seen it. Thought I'd play it at the bar on this lazy sunday afternoon.



Youtube video courtesy of rpoland.

If you have the time, do experience it twice, the first time without watching the video. Unbelievable what someone can create using a single instrument...

Viv toh pagal hai

So have you ever woken up and said to yourself, "Man! Suddenly I feel like watching 'Dil toh pagal hai'?

Okay fine, you haven't. Just asking. Bhaav kaiko kha rela hai re? Hmmph!

Well, my Bollywood buddy Pizzadude and I have. And so when he suggested that we watch DTPH during one of the weekends, I couldn't contain my excitement. See, this is the problem. There is this genre of movies from when we were kids/teenagers (e.g. MPK, HAHK, DTPH, KKHH, etc.) which seem kind of silly right now, and it takes a deep sense of senseless love and forgiveness for us to watch it now when we are in our late twenties. And Pizzadude and I have never found anyone as willing as each other to watch (and actually enjoy) movies from that genre. Most of my friends are Bollywood cynics (there was one who wasn't but she moved to Dubai) and Viv sleeps through all of them anyway, so it's great that Pizzadude and I are not only Bollywood freaks, we actually have the same taste in movies.

So when I told Viv we were planning to watch DTPH, he jumped.

Viv - I want to watch it too!
Me - WHAT?
Viv - Yeah!
Me - Really??
Viv - Yeah!
Me - You want to watch DTPH?
Viv - Yeah!
Me - Of all movies, DTPH?
Viv - Yeah!
Me - Okay fine. You'll sleep anyway.

The problem is that he didn't sleep. On the other hand, in order to show his support for us (and prove my claim about his sleeping wrong), the poor chap tried hard to find ways to stay interested. By bringing in cricket, software, his rather sad knowledge of Bollywood, anything he could actually.

As soon as the movie starts...

Me - Ooh. Yash Chopra will appear in the opening credits with his wife.
Pizzadude (pointing to the TV screen when they appear) - Oh yeah, that's them!
Viv (out of nowhere) - Is Yash Chopra dead?
Me (dirty look) - Nope. That was Yash Johar.
Viv - *nodding wisely* (but most likely wondering who Yash Johar was)

During the song 'Le gayi le gayi'...

Viv (in his 'wise' voice) - You see... this is exactly where Lata Mangeshkar started to sound really bad...
Me (straight face) - Dude, this is Asha Bhosle.
Pizzadude - Hahaha!
Viv - *sheepish face*

Pizzadude (during the 'Le gayi le gayi' song) - Karishma Kapoor was so fit in the movie na?
Me - Yeah man! She had an awesome body.
Viv (pointing to the TV screen) - Yeah, she looks fit. But she has thunder thighs.
Pizzadude and me - *totally speechless at this totally random statement*

20 minutes into the movie...

Viv - You see these vertical lines that appear in the video every now and then?
Pizzadude - Err.. yeah..?
Viv (proudly) - My company designs software that can remove them!
Pizzadude (trying to be polite) - Oh really? Wow.
Me (not so polite) - Err... okay...

Some time during the movie...

Pizzadude - I hate Dholna.
Me - Me too! That is like the worst. We HAVE to forward it.
Viv - *silence* (he has no idea what we're talking about and probably thinks it's a Gujarati breakfast item)

Some time later, the song Dholna starts to play, and I pick up the remote control and press 'Forward'.

Viv - Wait! No! I LOVE this song! (proceeds to headbang to 'Dholna' while Pizzadude and I roll our eyes at each other)

During the 'Dance of envy'...

Viv - Oh no... Is her ankle going to start bleeding? Is her ankle going to start bleeding??
(Background info: He just got de-titaniumed in a surgery two weeks ago and the stitches started bleeding a few days later. I think he's still a bit freaked out.)
Me - NO! It won't start bleeding. It was a fracture, dammit.
Viv - Are you sure?? I don't want to look!
Pizzadude - Errr... Viv, you have watched this movie before, haven't you?
Viv - Yeah, but I don't remember anything!

20 minutes later...

Viv - Oh! I remember this movie very clearly!
Me - Oh yeah? Now you do?
Viv - Yes! The day I went to watch this movie, India got thrashed by Sri Lanka. Theatre jaane se pehle hum log achha khel rahe they, waapas aate aate Jayasuriya ne phod diya tha!

And the most inspiring is...

...Rang De Basanti.

According to the poll, RDB was first, and the second place was shared by 'Swades' and 'Taare Zameen Par'. 'Lakshya', 'Lage Raho MunnBhai' and 'A Wednesday' were next in line.

About RDB, I thought it was an interesting movie, and I did buy the DVD, but the movie did not inspire me to do anything different. My vote went to Lakshya. Not for Kargil, not for patriotism, not for anything fancy. But for these very simple lines that Romi's Dad says to Karan, "Tum jo bhi karo achha karo. Agar scientist bano toh achhe scientist bano. Agar ghaas kaatne wale bano toh achha ghaas kaatne wale bano. Warna kya faayda?"

(Whatever you do, do it well. If you become a scientist, be a good scientist. If you become a grass-cutter, be a good grass-cutter. Otherwise what's the point?)

I love that movie for these lines. I really did wake up and feel different the next day. About my job. About my hobbies. About everything actually.