Road rulers

So Viv's uncle C (who calls me his 'nephenie') whose place I'm staying at has been showing me around Bangalore in his car. I was last here in 1992 and though the weather here is just as fabulous as it was 16 years ago, the traffic is now unbelievable. What is even more unbelievable is that in spite of following the rules himself, how forgiving Uncle C is of people who don't. We have had quite a few discussions on the terrible traffic situations we have found ourselves in, most of which (the conversations, not the traffic situations) have had me explode into laughter.

***
We're stuck in a traffic jam and when I look around, every vehicle is at a different angle, squirming to get out of it.

Me - So people don't follow any rules at all?

Uncle C - Of course they do! They follow the rules that they make themselves.

***

So we're trying to park along the road (legit!) when this teenager, armed with a whistle, runs up to our car and guides us into the parking space.

Me - So this guy... is he official? As in, he's been appointed to do this?

Uncle C - Oh yes! He's appointed. Self-appointed.

***

We're driving along when I spot a bad driver. Now me saying 'bad driver' has a greater meaning than a regular person saying 'bad driver'. So you can imagine how bad this guy was. Watching him almost get killed reminded me of something.

Me - You know, Uncle C, one of my professors used to say, "There are no bad drivers in Singapore. That's because they are all dead."

Uncle C - Hmmm...There are no good drivers in India. Same reason.

***

We're driving along when I spot a family of three balanced precariously upon a tiny scooter.

Me - Uncle C, I thought they had some new law saying three people are not allowed on a scooter?

Uncle C - Yes, that's right. Three people are not allowed. Only even numbers are allowed. Two, four, six, eight... etc.

***