Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A boot-ylicious story

So Clueless came home for the weekend before flying off to India. Two of her friends came along with her, and one of them Soleil (an adorable Malaysian Chinese girl who refers to our place as “my Indian home”) stayed for the whole weekend. Viv and I slept early on Saturday night as we had badminton the next morning, but the two girls chattered on till very late. They were still asleep when we left for the game on Sunday morning.

On our way back from badminton, I asked Viv, "Do you think the girls would have woken up when we get home?" Viv said, "Soleil maybe, but not Clueless." Like most adoring older brothers, he trusts his sister's friends more than his sister.

"I bet Clueless is up too." I said.

"Naah... I don’t think so. I'm sure she's still sleeping." He said.

"Wanna bet? Okay, it's a bet. If she's up, you will give me 79 dollars. Okay?"

Viv didn't even raise an eyebrow at that statement.

He knows by now that if I want to buy something rather badly, I use such weird bets. They are just tactics to get out of the guilt. The guilt that arises out of being a girl and hence spending money on so many random things, while as a guy, he doesn’t have much to buy. So I have this weirdass bets with him which I win and then hop away to buy whatever I was eyeing, while he looks on amused. We don’t even have a my-money-your-money system. It was not like he was gonna open his wallet and give me 79 dollars to spend, I use my credit card for everything I buy. So to an outsider, this may not make sense at all. After all, when you’re a working gal, you can buy anything you want with the money you earn, and no one can question it. But sometimes, you just need that assurance that you’re not just blowing your money off on silly things (especially when it's an amount like $79, you feel better if you have 'the license to spend it'), you’re merely “spending money you won on a bet”. Tee hee!

So we went home, and both girls had woken up. Yipeee! I had just won myself 79 dollars. Viv was shaking his head at me and smiling. He knew that half the time, I don’t even buy anything after the stupid bets. But I get a real kick out of ‘winning the money’.

But this time, I was so gonna spend it. 'Cos it was time to reboot!

I may not be the greatest authority on computers, but I do know that when your computer crashes and nothing works, you gotta reboot. Rebooting - a concept that is just as relevant to life as it is to a CPU. When life seems like it's coming crashing down and nothing works, I 're-boot', i.e. I buy yet another pair of new shoes, and life's good again.

And I knew exactly what to do with the 79 dollars I had just won. They had been speaking to me, you see. The black boots on display at BHG, which would go fabulously with the muted purple dress with black sequins I had saved for my office Christmas party. (By the way, the dress was sponsored by one of my price-of-friendship thingies, I still have to recover the money though. Girl, if you're reading this, we have some accounts to settle, muahaha!).

So where were we? Yes, so the boots, they spoke. They put forth their case – like two lawyers in black coats. “People are so cynical these days. There are very few things they actually like. So if you're lucky enough to find something you really like, shouldn’t you grab it? Don't look at the price tag, woman, look at us!” Tell me - how can you counter such a beautiful argument? I bought the argument and the boots.

On the way back home, I decided to pick up some groceries and make my special pasta for dinner before Clueless flew off. The special pasta actually has very little pasta (carbs and all) and truckloads of vegetables. So I bought pasta sauce, broccoli, capsicum, cans of mushroom and babycorn, and also picked up two cartons of milk and a big loaf of bread for the next morning’s breakfast. Heavy stuff. By the time, I was done, it was raining as if it had never rained on earth before.

As I opened my umbrella, I noticed a man standing outside the supermarket. He smiled at me politely but what he meant was “Are you out of your mind, lady?”. So I smiled back at him politely, but what I really meant was "Wuss!" He was holding one of those large Laloo Prasad family-size umbrellas, and yet looking up at the sky and hesitating to step out. My blue umbrella is so tiny it can fit in my purse. And yet, the supermarket superwoman figured that her place was a just a short walk from here, she could just walk it.

Though I was carrying about six bags, I knew I just needed to protect the new boots from the rain. So held the paper bag with the shoebox close to my body, balanced the rest of the bags on various parts of my arms, and trodded on.

I was about 100 steps from home, when I heard it.

THUD!

THUD! THUD!

Oh my goodness, did someone get hit by a recklessly driven car? Shocked, I turned around. There was nothing.

And that’s when it struck me. Holy cow, the base of the paper bag with the boots had dissolved and collapsed, and the shoe box had fallen through the gaping hole! The other two THUD sounds were the milk cartons that had also decided to join the boots and play kaagaz ki kashti. Sheesh.

Next was the bag with the broccoli, followed by the capsicum. Holy cow.

It was at that point in time when I realised I did not have enough hands. I had bags on every part of my arms, and the umbrella between my chin and right shoulder. Not to mention that I was drenched to the marrow. How was I to pick up the shoes and how was I to carry them? So I thought – to hell with dignity and squatted down on the roadside in a manner that is only used in Indian toilets. To add to my embarrassment, a car actually stopped and the guy inside was almost going to get out and “take the poor woman who had collapsed by the roadside to the nearest hospital” but supermarket superwoman gestured him to get on with his life. I can only imagine his shock if the pasta sauce bottle had also fallen and broken, with the red sauce seemingly streaming from my body, mixing with the rainwater. That might have been fun.

Anyway, by some magical force, I found a hand to pick up the shoebox and clutched it to my chest like a baby, picked up the rest of my dignity along with the groceries and headed home. Finally, I made it, soaking wet.

The 20-odd pairs of shoes in the shoerack at my doorstep seemed to be mocking me. I'm used to it by now. I love all of them equally, but every time I reboot, I get a little resistance from them. I reckon this time they were also jealous because I had never clutched any of them the way I was clutching the new ones. I could sense the buggers rolling their eyes because I had decided to put the new shoes under my bed instead of out there in the open with them, braving the sun and the wind and the rain.

“Bite me!” I said and ignored their jealous looks.

(Holy cow, I just hope they don’t take my words literally.)

Home had never felt cosier as I got out of the soaking clothes and changed into warm, dry ones. As I checked the boots (they were surprisingly dry) before keeping them under the bed, I suddenly forgot all about the miserable situation I had been in a few minutes ago. I was happy again.

I had rebooted, you see.

***

Viv still has no idea about the boots. And I just realised that this post is a great way to find out whether he really reads my blog like he claims he does. Viv, if I do not get a reaction from you on this in the next 48 hours, you will err… owe me $49.90. Thank you.

.



42 comments:

Adorable Pancreas said...

Gold!

When in doubt, buy moer shoes. A motto to live by.

Preethi said...

silverrr!!!a girl can never have enough shoes...so here's to 'boot'ylicious christmas!

A G said...

Hello,Me just found your blog (from another friend who found it).

You are a riot. :)

I found your blog on a terribly boring day of office.You made my day :D
..This was yday.
Loved the latest post! (been randomly reading from prv posts)


So you have found yourself yet another reader.

Hail.

Ag.

Nidhi said...

Ahhh! Missed the Glod, Silver and Bronze...is anything available after that? But still happy to be in 1st 5....now I'll go read the post!

aequo animo said...

Iron! :) Great post lol. But, I was hoping pasta sauce from the broken bottle would have filled your new shoes. Ah, that would have made my day :D, I mean your day!

starbreez said...

Gal, I hope you won't catch a cold cos of this!!!

Bivas said...

What is it with girls and shoes? A couple of pairs never seem to suffice!!!

Sanket said...

Simply awesome post!!! For me, this is one of your the best posts till date.
Reading your blog is becoming one of my favorite pastimes now :)

Sanket said...

btw, i just love your name...it's very unique.....what does it mean?

The Mad Girl said...

This is a great read! You have some sense of humour!!loved it loved it loved it!

bellydancer said...

haha! Can't wait to c ur boots! You know I have my boots high on my bookshelf, still in the original box :)

Sayesha said...

#Adorable Pancreas,
Awesome motto! :D

#Preethi,
YEAY! :D

#A G,
Thanks! And welcome to the bar! Don't tell your boss that you get drunk in the middle of a work day! :P

#Nidhi,
Haha! I have people coming up with things like "aluminium", "neon" and "scrap metal", so feel free to create your own! :)

#Aequo animo,
//But, I was hoping pasta sauce from the broken bottle would have filled your new shoes.

*rolls up hypothetical newspaper and thwacks Aequo's head* :/

#Starbreez,
Haha! It's been sneezefest for the last two days! :D

#Bivas,
:D

#Sanket,
Whoa! Thanks! :P

//btw, i just love your name...it's very unique.....what does it mean?

You mean my blog nick Sayesha? It means "Princess of hearts" and "The desired one". :P :P :P

#The Mad Girl,
Hehe! Thanks! :D

#Bellydancer,
You should see them at Friday's party! :P Are you gonna wear your Aldo ones?? :D

sujatha said...

Woman..Let the poor guy live..!! Viv my sympathys are with you if you dont get to react in the 48 hours alloted to you..

satish said...

ossum!

Ab said...

oh wait... is Sayesha just yr blog name????
i thot it was a real name... and i was feeling its such a nice name.... hmmmm... inwy's!

Whattteverrrr ! said...

Sayesha ,
I really love you posts both on the rocks as well as the hoscotch...
keep going girl....you rock!

Photographer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

It always rains when one least expect it to. When it rains like this one feels like a lost wet puppy. :)

The guy with the car would have carried you to the hospital had you dropped the sauce on yourself and on the road. Then you would have to return home again in the rain. (which seemed like it had never rained before ;) )

I'm sure Viv has paid you $49.90 by now. But why is it &49.90 and not $40 or $49.99?

realistic dreamer said...

been reading ur posts for sometime now.. trying to read all the backdated ones too. love them :).. u write extremely well.
btw LOL@ at ur "hell with dignity comment" here! :D

realistic dreamer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PizzaDude said...

Hees :D

It took me a while to realize that the "supermarket superwoman" was actually you. Was wondering from where a woman (apart from you) came into the story....

//squatted down on the roadside in a manner that is only used in Indian toilets
Holy Cow!!! That must have been extremely embarassing. My sympathies. :P

Thisisme said...

i sooo loved this post ...total fun tha...:D:D:D
also..m sure49.9 ke new shoes honge :D:D hai na..???

shub said...

dear engineer ,
If your computer crashes, you cannot always revive it by rebooting. When it's gone, it's gone for good. (we're talking about PCs only here of course, not macbooks :P) muhahahaha!
Loved the post :D Hees. ( YOU TWO should stop copying this! )
~me

MANJA BLESSINGS said...

hello dear:
i was glad i peeped your very interesting blog stories.

have a sweet xmas and Happy 2008!

Joy said...

Great post! Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Have you decided which shoes to buy for 49.90? :)Can I blogroll you?

Duhita said...

ok, we need to see photos of the boots and the dress post xmas party:)

Archana said...

Oh man - I have been through this 'bags of grocery tearing apart and cans and fruits rolling in every direction and me chasing/picking them accompanied by "are you crazy" looks from bystanders' experience. Only, I did not have new boots to help in rebooting at that time :-(!

I had fun reading this story :-D!

p.s. I am so glad the boots did not get soaked!

R. Anand said...

hi

about 2 mths ago i was blogsurfing and i chanced pn your blog; and i am glad i did. i have finished reading all the 560+ posts of yours... it amazes me to think that somebody could write for free and still write so much... keep up the great work...

thanks

rt said...

I am sure u have lost 49.90$ ...
yaar why shud we give all sympathies to viv for loosing ;)
let u also win some :)
and by the way I dint realise that supermarket superwoman was u till I read a comment above :(!!

Ziah said...

Hey! Just dropped by.. really like your posts... have a warm sunshiney feel and then I leave with a smile..:) By the way, I'm married to a Viv too..:)

Sanchit said...

where's viv... :-)

Shanks_P said...

Good one :)
Is that shoes some how tied up with rain ? Get drenched in rain is enjoyable when we don't have time lines to keep and don't have to work after getting drenched ...

U always rock ji

Amey said...

So, what's the story behind $49.90?

Neihal said...

hahaha

My husband claims he reads my blog too. But I doubt, specially coz he is purely incapable of reading anything other than his medical journals and the newspaper.

Clueless said...

Woman! How did it not occur to you to SHOW ME THE BOOTS? I heard the entire story in person, in detail, and it never once occurred to you to show me these wonderful boots you're now raving about?!! *mortified look*

Harshi said...

Hahaa..Sash you are so funny...."re"boot"...pretty good!! :-)) I am so sorry for that situation in the rain...hope your health is good. Achcha you kept the new boots under the bed is it..lol..
So do you wish Viv reads the post or he doesn't??? ;-))

Sayesha said...

#Sujatha,
Ufff! Anothe Viv fan in the bar. *rolls eyes*

#Satish,
:D

#Ab,
Yeah man... I wouldn't put my real name here and be 'googlable', would I? :D

#Whattteverrrr,
Thanks! :)

#Vaijayanta,
Hehe! It is $49.90 because the pair of jeans I am eyeing costs that much. :P

#realistic dreamer,
Thanks! :D

#Pizzedude,
Hees is the word, my friend! :D Thanks for your sympathies, man! :P

#Thisisme,
Hehehehe! Naah, bahut shoes ho gaye for this year, it's a pair of jeans. :)

#Shub,
Sheesh! Here comes another wet blanket with her theories on rebooting. HEES! HEES! HEES! :D

#MANJA BLESSINGS,
Thanks! :)

#Joy,
Not shoes, jeans. :)
Honoured to be blogrolled. :)

#Duhita,
Hehehe! Photos should be on my Facebook soon! :)

#Archana,
Hehehehe! :P

//p.s. I am so glad the boots did not get soaked!

Me too! :O :O :O

#R.Anand,
Welcome to my blog, and thanks for your kind words. :)

//it amazes me to think that somebody could write for free and still write so much...

I think that's why this model works. If I were getting paid, I probably wouldn't be able to write so much - especially the nonsense. :P

#rt,
Hehehe! :P

#Ziah,
Thanks! :)
ps: Say Hi to your Viv too!

#Sanchit,
Chhupela hai I think? :D

#Shanks_P,
Thanks ji. You also rock a little bit ji. :P

#Amey,
A pair of jeans! I believe people do not need more than 2 pairs. I have about 5, but I really really need one more! :P

#Neihal,
Hehehehehe! Exactly! I tell Viv that if I wrote my blog in javascript, he'd be reading it every five mins! :/

#Clueless,
Muahahaha! I wanted to, but I had another evil idea - thought, let's see how often Clueless reads my blog! Ab pol khul gayi - tum dono bhai-behen! No one reads my blog! Hmmmph! Only your Dad is the real regular here!
ps: By the way, I am also guilty of reading your blog only once a month or so. Sorry! :P

#Harshi,
Thanks! :D

//So do you wish Viv reads the post or he doesn't??? ;-))

Bada dilemma tha yaar... ab kya bataun bahin... :P

Clueless said...

Oye! Shaani! I read as soon as you wrote - just couldn't find the time to comment till much later! And I commented MUCH before you posted the newest post! Hmph! :( Now I have to wait a whole month before I see the boots. :(

Amey said...

I guess most girls need only 2 (more) pairs of jeans (than they have) at any time. ;)

Sanchit said...

why is viv chupela... ?? so u got another big summa money or not ??

Bivas said...

so what happened to the $49.90???

soleil said...

I'm late! Late in commenting on your blog! Especially since I was in this blog post :p

Thank you for the compliments! I call your place my Indian home cos I remember Cookie Monster saying that you had mentioned that those who have stayed over at your place are like family to you. So having stayed over 3 times, I can definitely call your place home, my Indian home :)