A matter of time

Dearest Aishu baby,

I am SO sorry I lied to you. I had to. You clung on to me like a little monkey and said, "No, don't go. Don't go back, Mausi." I had no choice but to lie and tell you that I am going to see the doctor, hoping that would deter you. But you said you wanted to come along. It was only when your Mom said, "Mausi is going to get an injection! She'll come back soon." that you finally let go, but still giving me that half-believing look.

"I'll see you soon." I said. And I came back. Back to Singapore. Back to my crazy life. Your Mom told me you kept waiting for me and asking about me every day. Every time I look at this picture I'd taken on the toy train in the zoo that day, my heart breaks as I think about how I lied to you and made you wait.

Your Mom tells me that a few days later, you finally gave up on me and said, "Mausi went back to Singapore."

When I called you, you were not angry. I asked you, "When will you come to Singapore, Aishu?" and just like the many random things you say, you said, "I'll come at 3:30."

I don't know what that means. But whatever it does, I do know one thing.

I cannot wait for 3:30.

Lots of love,
Mausi