Kiddy concepts

They say that if your concepts are clear in your head when you're a child, you'll never forget them, and they will always make sense. Perhaps the biggest contradiction to this is the concept of Santa Claus. However, Santa is not very desi (unless you're talking about Santa of Santa aur Banta fame). Though I don't know what it is like now, but when I was growing up in India, Santa was insignificant. In fact, there was no Santa, only Fanta. Okay okay, bad joke. So I decided to make a list of desi concepts that seemed so sensible and logical back then, but seem like total nonsense now.

Vidya kasam (Literal meaning: I swear by vidya = knowledge)
So if you wanted to convince someone that you were speaking the truth, you prefixed it with vidya kasam. The repercussions were severe - if you were lying, vidya would leave you, i.e. you would flunk in your exams. So strong was the belief that even though I was the class topper, I would never ever khao vidya kasam if there was even an iota of doubt in my head about the truth in the statement I was about to make.

Doodh-bhaat (Literal meaning: Milk-rice)
After the many many sessions of getting out for a duck, followed by severe bawling, the tall lanky bhaiyas of my colony decided to declare. Not declare the innings, but declare doodh-bhaat for me. This basically meant that no matter what happened, I could not be declared out. Of course, there was a cap of five times, which meant I could last just under one over before I'd be officially 'out'. Of course, as I grew older, the cap reduced in number, and one fine day, there was no doodh-bhaat for me anymore! Surprise surprise though! The concept has now made its way into grown people's cricket, and has been given a more mature sounding name than doodh-bhaat. It is called a free hit. :|

Gudiya ki shaadi (Literal meaning: Doll's wedding)
What I don't get is how someone could come up with the cruel idea of a wedding after which the bride and groom go back to their respective homes and never see each other ever again. There are new clothes, jewellery, a grand feast, sometimes even a pundit, but right after the wedding, Munni takes off with her bride-doll and heads home to do homework, and Bubbly goes off with her groom-doll. Shaadi khatam, sab log ghar jao! I was totally against it even as a kid. My only memory was that of my friend (I forget her name. Obviously.) having the audacity to suggest that one of my bimbotic Barbie dolls (I had 6 or 7 I think) get married to her ugly gudda (male doll) who incidentally was not only NOT Ken, but was also twice my Barbie's height and width. Ugh! Kahan kahan se chale aate hain muh uthaake...

Katti and mitthi (Literal meaning: Err... uhhh... let me think... hmmm... uhh... )
Well, if you wanted to stop speaking to your best friend, all you had to do was cross the index finger of your left hand with that of your right hand, and hey presto, you weren't friends anymore! No hard feelings either! And retraction of the gesture was just as simple, you just had to carry out the same action, only this time with both thumbs instead of fingers (there are other variations too), and things went back to normal like you'd never had a fight. Wish grown-up life was as simple, don't you?

Got any such 'concepts' to share?

.