Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Kiddy concepts

They say that if your concepts are clear in your head when you're a child, you'll never forget them, and they will always make sense. Perhaps the biggest contradiction to this is the concept of Santa Claus. However, Santa is not very desi (unless you're talking about Santa of Santa aur Banta fame). Though I don't know what it is like now, but when I was growing up in India, Santa was insignificant. In fact, there was no Santa, only Fanta. Okay okay, bad joke. So I decided to make a list of desi concepts that seemed so sensible and logical back then, but seem like total nonsense now.

Vidya kasam (Literal meaning: I swear by vidya = knowledge)
So if you wanted to convince someone that you were speaking the truth, you prefixed it with vidya kasam. The repercussions were severe - if you were lying, vidya would leave you, i.e. you would flunk in your exams. So strong was the belief that even though I was the class topper, I would never ever khao vidya kasam if there was even an iota of doubt in my head about the truth in the statement I was about to make.

Doodh-bhaat (Literal meaning: Milk-rice)
After the many many sessions of getting out for a duck, followed by severe bawling, the tall lanky bhaiyas of my colony decided to declare. Not declare the innings, but declare doodh-bhaat for me. This basically meant that no matter what happened, I could not be declared out. Of course, there was a cap of five times, which meant I could last just under one over before I'd be officially 'out'. Of course, as I grew older, the cap reduced in number, and one fine day, there was no doodh-bhaat for me anymore! Surprise surprise though! The concept has now made its way into grown people's cricket, and has been given a more mature sounding name than doodh-bhaat. It is called a free hit. :|

Gudiya ki shaadi (Literal meaning: Doll's wedding)
What I don't get is how someone could come up with the cruel idea of a wedding after which the bride and groom go back to their respective homes and never see each other ever again. There are new clothes, jewellery, a grand feast, sometimes even a pundit, but right after the wedding, Munni takes off with her bride-doll and heads home to do homework, and Bubbly goes off with her groom-doll. Shaadi khatam, sab log ghar jao! I was totally against it even as a kid. My only memory was that of my friend (I forget her name. Obviously.) having the audacity to suggest that one of my bimbotic Barbie dolls (I had 6 or 7 I think) get married to her ugly gudda (male doll) who incidentally was not only NOT Ken, but was also twice my Barbie's height and width. Ugh! Kahan kahan se chale aate hain muh uthaake...

Katti and mitthi (Literal meaning: Err... uhhh... let me think... hmmm... uhh... )
Well, if you wanted to stop speaking to your best friend, all you had to do was cross the index finger of your left hand with that of your right hand, and hey presto, you weren't friends anymore! No hard feelings either! And retraction of the gesture was just as simple, you just had to carry out the same action, only this time with both thumbs instead of fingers (there are other variations too), and things went back to normal like you'd never had a fight. Wish grown-up life was as simple, don't you?

Got any such 'concepts' to share?

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36 comments:

Roopa said...

Gold! (I hope the gold, silver and bronze contest is open to all ;))

lovely post.

Also, the 'inky pinky ponky' to decide which of your friends would get the first chocolate on your birthday. Not one word of complaint from the unfortunate ones who don't get the 'ponky'. Wish decision making was that simple now.

aequo animo said...

Silver :)!!

Mel said...

did you guys play hoppingo battingo? where you had the right to hammer your hoppinggo-buddy on his back if he didn't say hoppingo/battingo before sitting/standing. Friends would pat each other lightly. Enemies would wallop each other till hands hurt. Good ol times.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

ahahha hoppingo battingo! serious blows were dealt there. :)


katti to katti baarah baje batti. :)

aequo animo said...

Along with the wedding.. my sis also had few funerals of broken toys ( and a dead puppy and a dead butterfly too).. :D.
We had this chor-police game, where in we marked few chors ( read- not so cool dudes/dudettes in the grp) and make them runaway and never bother to catch them. And go play somewhere else instead ;)

Geeta said...

doodh-bhaat?
we called it kacchi-mitti.

and it was katti and abba that 'defined' friendship back then ;)

kinda like same sky-different stars, eh?

Tarun said...

Majority Wins-Minority loses ... hahahah

Time please before getting cuaght in pakadan pakhdai

fool's day out said...

So Ekta Kapoor fan Barbie ditches the male-doll (unrecorded reaon - name not starting with K) groom. Its good back then they have not invented "Gudiya chaap Acid"

Rose said...

Sweet post!!

I have a story similar to animos's. I used to bury my pet gold fish when they died - around 5 of them!! I used to even say a prayer before burying them and even invite my friends :) I was sooo nuts!!

Dhaval Faria said...

we used Katti and Batti.. and there was this rhym.. Kati toh Kati.. tu khaa mati.. mein khaao chocolate.. :P

one thing I remember is Kachha-pillu, which is similar to doodh-bhaat..

Ziah said...

I remember "Poochandi"... the tamil equivalent of Boogeyman... mom used to make me shit bricks thinking he's coming for me and I'd drift off to sleep dutifully like a good girl so that I wont fit into his burlap that night:)

Bivas said...

That game called Gold-Spot-King where the player is out if the king gets to tag him/her by stamping the foot on the opponents!
Lock & Key was another favs...but I guess the brahmastra was playing statue. Just freeze the person u dont want to talk to for a while and carry on with your work...and the dumb ppl we were...we actually froze!!!

Aethyr said...

We had kachhe chawal similar to doodh-bhaat, and 2-time or thu(as in spit)times for taking short interval between a game for discussing strategies, fighting with the rival team or just to relax.
So what most used to do in a chasing game, when the chaser comes near to you and is about to catch you..you say 2-times and bingo, you won't be out.

satish said...

bhai, ab kya bolun main. bahut hee mast post tha.

ek aur cheez thi yaar. joh pata nahi aapne suni hai yaa nahi.jab bhi apan kachche aam khate the toh bolte the," aama guhi (its seed) kaun?? maarpi kaun??'

aapne agar suna ho toh phir mujhe explain karne ki jaroorat nahi! hai na?!

Joy said...

Nice read. Like Geeta, for me too it was kachi mitti and katti and abba for (un)becoming friends. There was other games of "unch neech", stapu and ghassitta.. :) :) :)

Swathy said...

Nice blog!!
I still follow this childhood concept ..its goes like this..
if two people say something same at hte same time(without planning)the first one to touch the other s head,then something in gold(some said it green too.. touch anything green) and make a wish would be the winner of "touch-gold and make-a-wish"contest!!

Spectator said...

Doodh-bhaat !!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h... i was Doodh-bhaat for half of my childhood!!! n finally i gave up sports totally !!! we used another term also.. adadhoo limbu !!! (half lemon !!!)

Crime Master said...

LOL! I was always the doodh pauwa (poha - or flattened rice)..

best was "time please" in middle of the game! :P

Adorable Pancreas said...

Liar cocker! Obvious, no?
And jinx! when two people say the same thing at the same time. If the other person jinxed you first, then you aren't allowed to speak until the jinxer speaks your name. If you did, you'd get hit 10 times, or something.
Same pinch, no back pinch. That was fun.

K said...

Brilliant post.

"..and hey presto, you weren't friends anymore! No hard feelings either! And retraction of the gesture was just as simple.."

Ah, childhood. :)

Abhinav said...

then there was
1) back to you, first you, never i
2) upon god (just like vidya kasam)/ or mummy kasam

Sanchit said...

bachpan ki yaadein tazza ho gayi... :)

Sanyukta said...

Yeah...nice post...anybody remembers that in-unison "Haawww" sound whenever a kid did or said something supposedly embarrassing? :D

Bivas said...

lol @ Sanyukta...remember that perfectly well...the Haawww's were so typical Haawwish! ;-)

Anandita SIngh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anandita SIngh said...

You have some very amazing posts there. And this was one was great.. I had almost forgotten all this stuff.. Thank you for refereshing my memory
Except i guess for katti mitthi we used to say kaati and batti...

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

I remember the first time we kids heard that sardarji and 12 o'clock joke: laughed our guts out. And the first time someone taught us that "Saala" was a bad word. We never knew the meaning, but to utter it was as close to venomous fighting as you could get. :)

Sayesha said...

#Roopa,
Hahahaha! OMG was it like this?
Inky Pinky Ponky
Father had a donkey
Donkey died, Father cried
Inky Pinky Ponky!
Hahahahahahahahahaha! :D

#Aequo Animo,
:D

#Mel,
No idea but sounds like great fun yaar! :D

#Ipanema Gal,
Hehehe! :P

#Aequo animo,
//We had this chor-police game, where in we marked few chors ( read- not so cool dudes/dudettes in the grp) and make them runaway and never bother to catch them. And go play somewhere else instead ;)

I LOVE it! Simply LOVE the idea!! Wish I could do a grown-up version of it with some people now! :P

#Geeta,
Hehehehee! :P

#Tarun,
Aah, that too!! :D

#Fool's Day Out,
:D

#Rose,
Hahahaha! Ooops, I mean "How touching". :P

#Dhaval,
Hahahaha! The chocolate line doesn't even rhyme with anything else! Tuney khud add kiya na?? :P

#Ziah,
Hehehehe! That "kidnapper" back then was responsible for a lot of kids going off to sleep on time. :D

#Bivas,
Hahahaha! The statue thing was really dumb, but we actually froze! Hahahaha! :D

#Aethyr,
//when the chaser comes near to you and is about to catch you..you say 2-times and bingo, you won't be out.

Hainnn?? Really??? You came up with it?? :P

#Satish,
Nahin re, yeh wala toh kabhi nahin suna! :O

#Joy,
Oh yeah! Unch neech and crocodile!! :D

#Swathy,
:D

#Spectator,
Hahahahahah! Me too! :D

#Crime Master,
Flattened rice?? LOL!!

#Adorable Pancreas,
Hahaha! Oh the amount of violence in those days! :D

#K,
:)

#Abhinav,
Mummy kasam?? :O :O :O

#Sanchit,
Meri bhi! Comments padhkar! :)

#Sanyukta,
Mannn! That Hawwwwwwwww! I know some people who still say it! :P :P

#Bivas,
Hahahahaha! :D

#Anandita,
Thanks! :)

#Sudipta,
Hahahah! I still wonder though why the 12 o clock thing is funny! :P

Sowmya said...

Oyeeeee.... am tired of reading kiddy concepts atleast 100 times daily :|

Next post plzz

-Sowmya

PRanky said...

Chweet blog...!!!

We used to play ghar-ghar, office-office and alltime fav kitchen kitchen...gosh...
how funny it was...
My brther was only guy between us ..so he was responsible to go to office, earn money and bring vegetables...:)

JD said...

Hey,

We had something called "Kachha Limboo", similar to your doodh-bhaat. Usually the youngest, weakest, clumsiest, least skilled, shiest member of the herd was the KL . If you got the KL out, it didn't really count.The stigma attached with it hurt...till a growth spurt found me so I could fight anyone who dared to call me KL tooth and nail.

Great post.

Dhaval Faria said...

no no it wasnt added by me.. thats what we used to say in kiddie days :D

Solitaire said...

I do not have many such memories. I was quite a nerd, always reading!!

Elise said...

how come nobody mentioned bout the "statue game"? :(

dedestined said...

Talking of Gudiya ki shaadi, we didn't see much shaadi's around, but lot's of birthdays, so there were these "Gudiya ka Birthday"s, & my younger sister would put them all in a plastic packet & take them to her friend's place, WHOSE doll had a birthday.
& would U believe me? Once, when she herself was 7, there was one * Gudiya ka PULSE POLIO !!!!*
Pity I didn't keep snaps. Some role play, eh?

dedestined said...

We had this horrid thing called "jolly". Two ppl would put a ink spot on their palms at the same time, & then check with each other everyday. The one whose "jolly" faded first, had to pay up, in candies!
These & the hoppingo-bettingo games evolved from the benign "statue"?