Independence Day

Those of you who're already shaking their heads thinking that I'm one of those NRIs who can't keep their Independence Day and Republic Day straight, and is hence blogging about Independence Day about a week before Republic Day, here's a *thwack* off my hypothetical rolled-up newspaper. This post is not about India's independence, but mother India's independence. I mean my mother's independence.

So I took Mom for a walk to the beach today. What Viv and I brag to everyone as 'just a short walk' turned out to be not so short when Mom was concerned. And for the first time, I understood what Viv feels like when he walks with me, what with me furiously trying to keep up with his giant strides. So on the way back, Mom was really really tired from the walk and I smartly decided this was the best opportunity to get her to become independent.

Mom is terrified of taking the bus by herself. So I suggested that she take the bus back while I walk it as I did not have any value in my bus card. Of course there were a thousand ways to get home, such as taking a cab, or me taking the bus with her and paying by coins instead of the bus card. But the point was to get her to take the bus by herself, and since it was a very short ride, I figured it was the best time to let her try travelling by herself. Just this morning, my chhoti mausi had suggested the same thing - that I let her take a short bus ride by herself and see how she does. She even delivered a mini-scolding to Mom about her lack of independence. "You should be able to get around by yourself by now! This is what, your third visit to Singapore?" Mausi had said to her. She had a point. Besides, Mom was also inspired by my mom-in-law who's very savvy when it comes to travelling by herself.

So she agreed to do it.

I showed Mom to the bus stop. There was only one other guy sitting there. I asked her if she knew which buses she could take.

"10, 12 or 14." She said confidently.

"Great! Okay, I'm going to start walking now. You know how to flag the bus?"

"Yes."

"Okay, and remember to tap your bus card at entry and exit."

"Yes."

"Do you know which stop to get off at?"

She looked a bit uncertain.

"It's two stops from here. Press the bell after the next stop, and get off at the one after that. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm just worried whether I can unlock the main door."

"Of course you can. You have done it so many times."

But I knew what she was talking about. Though she had unlocked the door several times, it was always 'in my supervision'. She has taken the bus several times as well, but again 'in my supervision.' And that was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I wanted her to be able to do these things by herself.

So I started walking, and walked rather fast so I wouldn't take too long to reach after she did.

I'd been walking for almost 10 minutes, and there was no sign of any bus overtaking me. There were 3 buses she could take. A little fear crept inside me. Would she panic because no bus was coming by? Had I been too demanding? Maybe I shouldn't have left her by herself? But there was another guy at the bus stop. But then what if the guy at the bus stop was a crook? What if he robbed her of her purse? Singapore is safe and all that, but you never know. What if when the bus came by, she fell asleep because she was so tired and woke up only at the last stop near Changi airport or something? What if she couldn't spot the bus stop she had to get off at because it was too dark?

On the way, I decided to pop by the ATM near our house. Since there was no sign of any bus behind me, I knew she wouldn't reach before I did. Besides, she had the keys. And that's when it struck me - she didn't have the keys, I did! Holy cow! But there was still no sign of the bus. Had it passed by without my knowledge? Was she home and wondering where I was? To add to my annoyance, there was this idiot in the queue before me who, instead of depositing all the cash he had at one go, made three thin stacks of notes first and manually counted them. Then he placed them in the cash deposit machine, one stack at a time. He even paused midway to answer his phone. Sheesh! I wanted to kick his ass and say, "Dude! If you can trust a machine to count three thin stacks of your money, surely you can trust it to count just one??"

All this while, I was panicking more. What if she thought she had the keys and that she had lost them? Would she walk back to the bus stop to see if she had dropped them? What if she went home and rang the bell thinking I'd be there, and I wasn't? Would she wait outside the house? What if I went back and did not find her outside the house? Where would I look? I cursed myself for my so-called smart act. What was the urgent need for her to be so independent anyway? Maybe she wasn't ready for it yet.

Gosh, had I just abandoned my mother at a deserted bus stop at night in a country foreign to her? What the heck was wrong with me??

But then maybe I was just being silly. Paranoid. But what if I wasn't?

After I was done at the ATM, I ran home like mad.

There she was, sitting besides the swimming pool, waiting for me.

Smiling, no less.

Phew.

*breathe, Sayesha, breathe*

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

How the heck my parents brought my sis and me up without going mad with worry is seriously beyond me.

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