Underwater world

Splash! Splash! Splash!

"Hmmm....."

"What hmmmm..?"

"I wonder if I'll drown if I try to stand in the deep end."

"You won't drown. Go ahead and stand. It's a good start to get over that fear."

"Naah, it looks too deep, I'll drown."

"You won't drown, you moron! "The deep end is 1.6 m. That's 160 cm. You're 165 cm tall. You do the math."

"Naah, I think I'm too short for this pool."

"Gosh, no one is 'too short for a pool'!"

"Oh yeah? Then explain why models wear high heels with their swimsuits, huh huh huh?"

"Sheesh!"

Yupp, this was me, having a conversation with myself in the swimming pool a couple of hours ago, while the kids playing badminton near the pool wondered why 'that aunty in the black and pink swimsuit was swimming like a dog'.

They say that children often attribute their phobias to something bad that happened in their childhood. I wonder if my phobia of water - specifically that of putting my head under water - has anything to do with the long pink dress I wore at my school play in 1985.

So as I mentioned, it was 1985, I was 5 and getting ready for my school play. It was a musical and I was one of the girls in the long frilly pink dresses being woo'ed by the little guys in black suits and bowties. I even remember bits of the song, "I'll give you a bouquet of roses. Will you marry, will you marry, will you marry me?" We girls had to act all coy and sing "I won't marry, I won't marry, I won't marry you!" Finally when the boys got down on their knees with "diamonds" and sang "I'll give you a diamond ring. Will you marry, will you marry, will you marry me?" we had to sing, "I will marry, I will marry, I will marry you." The problem was that I hated my partner (let's call him Chintu). Chintu would pull my hair, and hide my pencils and chase me around the classroom with a bug. And so, the teachers had a tough time when incidentally Chintu was paired with me.

So Chintu would put forth the diamond and I'd shriek, "I won't marry, I won't marry, I won't marry you!"

"No Sayesha, you have to say "I will marry, I will marry, I will marry you." my teachers would plead.

"I won't marry, I won't marry, I won't marry you!"

It was a nightmare. For my teachers too, but more so for me. I hated the sight of Chintu. But there was a silver lining, and that was my dress. It was a long pink frilly gown kind of a dress that the teachers had commissioned for all of us, and I loved it to bits. I think it was what got me through the final performance. To tell the truth, looking at him, down on his knees, pleadingly holding the diamond, I had half a mind to deliver a nice kick but it didn't go with my dress so I abandoned the idea and very indignantly said, "I will marry, I will marry, I will marry you."

And my teachers, hidden in the wings, finally breathed.

The best part was - the dresses had been individually stitched for us, so we got to keep them! I was ecstatic. I told my mom that I wanted to wear it on a really nice occasion. So when I took it out for a family picnic to some lake, my mom was aghast.

"It's too fancy for this picnic, my dear. You should wear something more comfortable."

"No no no no no I wanna wear this I wanna wear this I wanna wear this!" You could see that the rhythm of my school dance had not left me yet.

I cried so hard that Mom had to let me wear it. My evil cousin Sid kept tugging the bows and frills on the way - he was totally amused. Considering that he was 4, I did not punch him.

So here we were, boating on this lake, and I was sitting on the edge enjoying the view. At the end of the trip, when the boat reached the bank, it didn't do so quite smoothly. The boat kinda collided with the steps at the bank and... SPLASH! next thing I know I'm in the water.

It was totally scary - the only thing that would come close was my recent bungy-jump stunt. The water was not as shallow as one would think. I went totally underwater at first, and then somehow struggled back up. My dress not only weighed me down, it also got entangled in some aquatic plants. Somehow I managed to free it, upon which it proceeded to form a balloon-like structure around me, which I believed was instrumental in saving my life. Anyway, many hands were extended and I was pulled up, soaking wet, and really really freaked out.

After about half an hour of crying - most of which was because the damn dress wouldn't dry - Sid got me an ice-cream. I remember because it was the nicest thing he'd done for me. Ever.

I wonder if that boating incident was what made me scared of water. Come to think of it, I'm not scared of water per se, I can snorkel comfortably and all that, but if my face goes underwater without any artificial breathing mechanism, I panic. Which is a real pity because swimming (correctly) is such a good whole body workout. Much as I love my weekly badminton session, there's nothing as refreshing and relaxing as swimming - working out without working a sweat.

And so for the exercise value, I continue to go to the pool three times a week. Except for the conversations I have with myself, I think I'm doing okay. I have mastered my own versions of swimming freestyle and breaststroke without having to put my head under water.

Hell, I have even come up with my own cool 'strokes' that can be performed with ease if you suffer from the same weird underwater phobia as me.

Crocodile stroke, anyone?