Dressed to kill

"Have you decided on your costume?"

"Nope."

Two days later...

"Have you decided on your costume?"

"Thinking still..."

Three days later...

"Have you decided on your costume?"

"Not yet."

"Seriously, Viv?? Here I'm threatening my friends that if they don't turn up in costume, I'm gonna disown them / turn them away at the door / make them sing/dance at the party, and you're just sitting on your ass with no ideas at all? If you need any help to buy/sew/fashion some props, I can do it for you now. If you ask me on the last day, I won't be able to help you. Okay?"

"Okay." That's all he said to my very long lecture.

It was infuriating. Here I was, running around, looking for a really short dress and a dirty brown wig so I could be Preeti (Saira Banu) from Poorab Pachhim at our New Year's Eve Hollywood/Bollywood costume party, and he was just sitting there, coolly, not doing anything.

Of course I knew the real reason why I was so furious. I was secretly scared that he'd do something spectacular at the last possible moment and steal my thunder.

And of course, he did.

First, he started rummaging for Xena's skipping rope. What on earth was he going to do with that?

Then he asked me if I had cardboard. I handed him some cardboard from a craft project that Xena and I had been doing (we were building a house for all her dinosaurs).

"Will you tell me already what you're dressing up as?"

He opened up the computer and showed me this picture on Google images.

Holy crap. He literally had all the props. Blue shirt, check. Brown pants, check. Rope, check.

He has even fashioned his billa number 786 using cardboard and a marker.

Viv was going to be Vijay from Deewar. 

"Can you make me a beedi?"

"What?!"

"Can you make me a beedi? As my prop?"

Of course I could make him a beedi. But did I want to make him a beedi, after my threat to him that I would render no help to him whatsoever if he approached me at the last minute?

It turns out I'm not as hard-hearted as I think I am. 

"Fine, I'll make you a beedi."

And make him a beedi, I did. From the finest brown paper found in our art and craft drawer. 

He even googled AB's iconic dialogue in that get-up, "Tum log mujhe dhoondh rahe ho, aur main yahan tumhara intzaar kar raha hoon." I really wonder why this dialogue is so iconic. I mean, he's just stating a fact, not making some dramatic statement. A dialogue cannot get any more factual than this! I guess it's AB's charisma. Some people can say anything and get away with it. I'm sure if Salman Khan casually says, "Arre, meri shirt kahan gayi?" in a movie, it will become an iconic dialogue. 

Anyway, back to Viv. He practised posing like AB in the picture above and I actually took a picture of him like that with the computer in the background showing the original picture. Finally, he was all set. 

I was all set too, but I had only managed to find a blonde wig instead of the matte brown one I was seeking, and in spite of my very Preeti-esque dress, I wasn't quite sure people could tell who I was supposed to be.

I had dressed Xena up as Anjali from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I had shown her a picture on the computer and she had agreed to dress up like that. The outfit was simple enough -- just a cutesy top and a skirt, and a fabric hairband. But it was the hair I had a tough time with. Xena has long hair, which I was trying to fold and form into the signature Anjali fringe. After about 347897 tries and 238947823975 hair clips, we managed to nail the look.  

The door bell rang. It was the sister-in-law. 

A few days ago, she had come to raid my wardrobe and Viv's too. She asked me if I had a dull, frumpy, long dress. I gave her a look. Did she not know me at all? I loathe dull-coloured clothes of any kind. I did have a long dress, but it was full of the brightest colours on the planet. She sighed and took it for lack of anything better. She also took a white shirt from Viv's wardrobe. I had no idea what she had in mind and knowing her, I assumed it was some Hollywood character she'd choose. 

So when the doorbell rang and I opened the door, she was dressed in that colourful long dress with Viv's white shirt over it. I had no clue what was going on until she went into my room and came out with an emoji pillow stuck under the dress. She also had a backpack on her shoulders and a pair of sunglasses perched on her head. Goodness! She was Vidya Bagchi (Vidya Balan) from Kahaani! It was perfection. I was very touched because I knew she'd chosen a Bollywood character only for me when she's actually more of a Hollywood person. 

The next person to arrive was Pizzadude, winner of our last costume party, the Govinda-themed one. He was dressed as a character from... Dostana! No no, take your dirty minds off John Abraham's yellow trunks. He was Abhishek Bachchan from Dostana, in a pink shirt, sunglasses, and a scarf around his neck. 

The next group to arrive was Maya and R. I had been quite apprehensive about R, as he's the kind who'd preferr to cut off all ties with me rather than dress up as a movie character. So I was relieved and overjoyed to see him dressed up as... Arjun Rampal from Rock On! This was his look, and to my surprise and delight, there was an actual guitar. These guys, who had travelled all the way from the west with their toddler, had lugged a guitar just for his character to be authentic. 

Maya, who had disappeared into the guest room to put on her finishing touches, emerged and I couldn't hold my excitement. I literally squealed with delight. She was Bobby (Dimple Kapadia) from Bobby. Come on, you all know that signature look. 

The last two people to arrive were my friends S and P. S was dressed as Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction (unfortunately, she had to tell me who she was, I didn't know as I haven't watched Pulp Fiction), while her hubby S was dressed as Indiana Jones, complete with the hat, shoes and whip (another dad borrows his hapless daughter's skipping rope; I couldn't stop laughing at the sight of him and Viv brandishing their skipping ropes!). 

In case you're curious if anyone guessed who I was supposed to be, well, everyone thought I was Helen, so after a while I just decided to go with it. So there I was, in my short black and white dress and long blonde hair, Helen from... every Helen movie, I suppose. 

Though it was a very small dinner party with the closest of my friends, it was a total riot. We played 'Never have I ever' and found out very fun/interesting/scandalous things about one another. Initially it took a while for people to think up of things that would keep them in the clear while forcing others to drink, but soon we all got the hang of it. After a while, even Xena knew how the game went. She raised her hand, saying, "I have one, I have one! Never have I ever... had beer!" 

We were supposed to pick a winner based on whoever had the most sips or whoever played the cleverest game or whoever had the most interesting stories, but it got so fun that we didn't even remember that the game was supposed to have an objective. In comparison to the others', my statements turned out to be quite mellow, though I scored big when I said "Never have I ever... lived in Bangalore!" (Seriously, what is up with Bangalore folks and me?? All my closest friends hail from Bangalore, and now the sis-in-law, also a close friend, is moving to Bangalore!)

Along the way, someone suggested that we switch the game from 'Never have I ever' to 'I have' where each person talks about something they have done that others are unlikely to have done. Once again, the stories I heard in that round were quite mind-boggling, while my only claim to fame in that round was 'I have been to Pakistan! Ha!'

Considering the 'sharaafat ki moorat' that all of us are, the party came to a modest close shortly after midnight, and people dispersed soon after wishing one another a very happy new year. After they had left, I turned to Viv and told him how proud of him and his costume I was. Later, a friend of mine saw his photos and remarked on what a great sport he was and how most men wouldn't even bother to dress up for a costume party. So I told her that he wasn't always like this. 

He'd just happened to marry the right girl.