Thursday, December 11, 2008

Embassy tales

Overheard at the Indian Embassy during my recent visit:

Scary lady in sari (to no one and yet everyone) - Passport this way, others that way. And no inquiries.

Frustrated man at counter - Excuse me, I applied for my son's passport last week. But when I got it, his sex had changed to female.

*pause to suppress my howls of laughter at the poor guy's predicament*

Scary lady in sari (to no one and yet everyone) - I SAID NO INQUIRIES!

Girl (on her mobile phone) - This is like a fish market! There is a token number system, but there are 5 people at each counter still!

Guy standing near counter (to me) - Madam, can you please sit? My number is before you.
Me - Arre if I sit, I can't see if my token number appears on screen. There's too many people standing in front.
Guy gives me dirty 'so-you-think-this-token-number-system-works?' look.

Lady (on her mobile phone) - Achha suno... there are some people here who are also applying for their kid's visa... and guess what? They have all got their kids with them! Ab main kya karoon?

Man (looking at the crowd and shaking his head) - This will never change...

Mom (to kid) - Come here, hold my hand! Don't get lost. It's too crowded.

Man (muttering to himself) - Kitna claustrophic hai yaar...

Same lady as before (on mobile phone) - Haan... it does say applicant must apply in person... but kids also??

Yelling man (at counter) - No, but you tell me, what can I do now??

Scary lady in sari (to no one and yet everyone) - I SAID NO INQUIRIES!

Same lady as before (on mobile phone) - Mere paas toh stapler bhi nahin hai... what if they reject me because my forms aren't stapled?

Excited kid (to Mom) - Mummy, is that my passport?
Mom - Nahin beta, this is just the token number. Passport mein time lagega.
Kid - Kitna time?
Mom - Sigh... Pata nahin...

Same girl as before (on mobile phone) - Arre the queue went all the way from the gates through Grange road on to the main road... almost into a construction site! The workers started yelling at us saying they will complain to MOM.
(For the uninitiated, no, the worker wasn't threatening to run to his Mama; MOM = Ministry of Manpower)

Guy (surveying the room and shaking his head) - This is not Singapore... this is... this is India!



27 comments:

Kanan said...

LMAO... @ post.

GOLD! ;)

Sanchit said...

silverrrrrrr...

india will always be india.. and indians will always be indians, no matter where they (we) go...

Swathy said...

bronze.. bronzee. bronze..
abhi jake post padna hai..
byeeee

Rosh said...

Funny!

Scary lady in sari (to no one and yet everyone)

I think I have met her when I went for my Visa stamping!

Cheers,
Rosh
(http://roshabraham.blogsome.com)

Kanan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kanan said...

I enjoyed laughing so much I came back and reread the post. :D

You meant "last" week in "... I applied for my son's passport next week...", didn't you? ;)

Couldn't stop laughing at "no inquiries" and the helpless customer comments. Btw, I've seen very similar lines here in the US at DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles) - they've the same token concept and all, difference is it's more boring.

Loved excited kid and mom convo too.

Imagine at such times if they awarded something to the most patient person... how about an earlier turn. ;) LOL!

rajeev said...

India is much better now :). My sis got her passport at her residence in 10 days after 'posting' her application.

Bhavya said...

"Haan... it does say applicant must apply in person... but kids also?"

Hilarios!

chanakya said...

aww man when did you go?
Monday is horrible.
Fill in your details beforehand.
The line is a nightmare of course.

I have to go but just the thought scares me....

>>Jass<< said...

"what if they reject me because my forms aren't stapled?"
Hhaha! I can so relate to that!:D

Sum said...

Ha ha ha.... Very hilarious... Still laughing.... :)))

Urv said...

The label says it all but :)

Lagta hai aaj bewdo ne kam pi rakhi hai. Gold, silver, bronze sab le liya :(

??! said...

And you know the really fun bit? It's the same whichever country you go to.

It's part of a secret plan which clones such officials and posts them across the world to ensure that while you think you may have escaped from India, India won't let go of you.

Tejal said...

//Haan... it does say applicant must apply in person... but kids also?
LMAO!! hahhahaa.. LOL soo typical.. its as if all this was there, so that Bhai doesnt feel homesick :P (er.. country-sick?)

Geeta said...

"Frustrated man at counter - Excuse me, I applied for my son's passport last week. But when I got it, his sex had changed to female."

-- Way too funny, had me in splits!!

"*pause to suppress my howls of laughter at the poor guy's predicament*"

-- ok, so here goes

*a good long pause to make a mental note to borrow the weird-o-philic magnet from Sash*

Enjoy ur hol's (whatever is rest of it, that is)

:)

Avaran said...

i guess we can be proud.... foreign embassies in India are run better than Indian embassies abroad....

V said...

'Ministry of manpower' really sounds like the ministry of magic from harry potter.

Dewdrop said...

Hey, well captured... but in India, this scene can be replicated at anny Govt office as well!!!

~vagabond~ said...

Absolutely hilarious! :D
Sounds like an Indian-ified scene of what happens at the DVM offices all over the USA. I like the Indian version much better...mostly coz I am not there sitting and waiting and watching the madness happen around me. LOL. It's so much funnier reading about it than being a part of it.

~vagabond~ said...

..oops, I meant DMV not DVM...was laughing too hard to see what I was typing. :D

starbreez said...

i had the same stapler (actually paper clip) fear in the hk indian consulate!!!

vineet said...

TCS,is implementing a project for Ministry of External Affairs,after which all queues will be thing of past.

Apply online and get your passport within 3 days.

here i 'm said...

lolz... i can't help but agree with the 'head shaking' guy :D

Shan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Guy Next Door said...

Same story here in London. We used to joke that they are so unorganised and chaotic just so that they can give the Brits a true picture of India when they come to apply for a visa. Indian chaos in London itself ;)

Nice blog!!

Lakshmi said...

...and yet there is a scramble to go to the US of A. [Shakes head in disbelief]

Hopped over from Terri's. Nice blog.

--Sunrise-- said...

Hahahahaha!!!! The guy whose passport now claims he is a female is too hilarious... I can't stop laughing!! :D