Friday, September 14, 2007

A man of his words

Fans of Viv's unconventional pictionary skills will be pleased to know that he has been working on a new talent. I call it 'killing the lyrics'; he calls it art.

So he was ironing, when I heard him hum these words.

"Chhota sa mann hai...
Mann mein hiran hai."

"Oye! It's not hiran, it's sanam." I corrected him. I can't stand people singing wrong lyrics, especially of Hindi songs.

"No, this is different. This has its own meaning." He said seriously. "Do you know what it means?"

"No, Viv, I don't. What does it mean?" I asked innocently, suppressing my laughter. This was going to be fun.

"It means that all the thoughts in my mind are hopping about like a hiran (deer)."

"Err.. a deer doesn't exactly hop about. A rabbit does. You should then sing "Mann mein khargosh (rabbit) hai." I did the classic 'Viv-killjoy-thing'.

He gave me the classic 'Sayesha-dagger-look.'

"You won't understand. This is an art. Only someone like Javed Akhtar will know the deep meaning and deep pain in my lyrics."

"I don't know about deep meaning, but I'm surely experiencing deep pain right now." I said.

He ignored me.

A while later, I heard him sing again.

Humko sirf tumse pyaar hai...
Humko sirf tumse pyaar hai...
*long pause*

Humko sirf tumse pyaar hai...
Humko sirf tumse pyaar hai...
*long pause*

"Hahahahaha! Aage nahin aata?" I laughed.

He continued.

"Dhoondte rahein tumko raat bhar
Kho gayi thi meri zindagi se bekhabar
Soch raha tha pyaar hai magar
Mera pyaar tha tumpe be-asar."

"Dude!" I asked. "What the hell was that?? You just about changed the entire paragraph! Do you even know what the word 'bekhabar' means?"

"Yeah. It means "without khabar - without news". You see, she left him without any news."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. This is bascially the guy professing his love for someone who doesn't love him back, and left him without any news." He said with a serious face, while I clutched my tummy and laughed.

A little while later, it started again.

"Raat hamari toh...
*pause*
chand ke sahaare hai...
*pause*
andhera kyun hai aise..."
*pause*

"What's the last line?" he said. "Can you sing it for me?"

"Aayi woh akeli hai." I sang.

"Oh yeah." He said. A few seconds later, he sang, "Current toh gayeli hai".

"Erm?"

"This is about people protesting against the electricity board. That's why the raat is chand ke sahaare... no lights, you see." He explained.

"Ohhh, right." I said.

He continued to iron and sing away.

"Andheraaa... rootha hai... Sandesaaa... jhootha hai..."

"WHAT?!"

"Arre, the hidden meaning is that the fax machine stopped working half-way through. So the sandesa is not correct."

"Uh-huh."

He continued singing.

"Gumsum sa kone mein baitha hai..."

"And who's that?"

"The fax machine still. It is just sadly sitting there in the corner because there is no power."

"Masha allah! Go on." I encouraged.

"Kitne dinon ke baad aayegi paheli hai..." He rambled on.

"Dude! That doesn't even make sense." I said.

"That's because I haven't specified the punctuation."

"Oh right. The punctuation. Pray specify it."

"Kitne dinon ke baad aayegi dot-dot-dot paheli hai."

"Hainnn?"

"As in - no one knows when the power supply will be back. It's a riddle. Paheli." He grinned.



42 comments:

Bijesh said...

gold!!!!!!!

err are those still given out at the bar if you comment first????

satish said...

oye. i have read the post!!!

kuch baat toh hai viv kee baato mein.

aur phir ek gana bhi toh hai - gana aaye yaa naa aaye gaana chahiye.

shub said...

:D
Actually, Viv is a genius!

Angelsera said...

hahaha...way to go Viv!!

Cheers and round of beer for all...orange juice for Bahi :D

Angelsera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sakshi said...

I heart VIV!
A man of many talents..

Sakshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Archana said...

Has Viv considered an alternate career as a lyricist?

rt said...

those are some meaningful lyrics!!

Manchus said...

I totally admire Viv's creatipity :)

See he is giving you something to talk about.

anantha said...

Viv's stupendous creativity made this lurker come out of the woodwork and bow in front of him! Fabulous! And yes, I agree with him. Lyrics are over-rated. The music is what counts.

And yes, salaams to bhai as well!

Art said...

thats too cute.. Viv is innovative :)

Nidhi said...

Me totally bowled out by Viv's talent...just like India bowled out Pak today :D
Btw...given that Viv loves cricket...am sure he must've enjoyed today's Indo-Pak match. It was rocking!!!

Sreejith said...

aap dono total paisa vasool couple ho :)

Clueless said...

Hee! He's had this...er, "talent", for a while now. He used to make up nonsense lyrics whenever he didn't know the words to any song. I'm stuck singing his alternate lyrics to "Mustafa Mustafa" because they're so ingrained in my brain now. :/

But I have to admit - the "Raat hamaari toh" story is genius. Electricity board, indeed! :D

kashika said...

Two creative geniuses under the same roof :D

i wish Javed Akhtar,Prasoon Joshi et al read ur blog. they would have suffered from an inferiority complex.

Adorable Pancreas said...

Wow. Now that's what I call creative.

TinTin said...

This post was so long I dindt read it.

Tejal said...

:D :D :D
u r right.. we ARE very pleased!!
hey Viv, u r jus so coooolll.. alright that u change the lyrics..but with explanations lik that, we dont mind at all! :D
btw, wat does Viv ,'man of his words', has to say bout dravid resignin (in his own words)? :P :P :P

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Hmm... this guy and I share a lot of talents: although I can purposefully change lyrics to bring in double entendres ;) I'm sure you have a blast of a time at home with him! :)

Dhaval Faria said...

what the hell.. haha am rolling on the floor :P

but good creativity :P

he can be hashya kavi :P

Tarun said...

It is a rare talent this ...

I think he should practice and u should groom Viv ...

Bivas said...

know what...me too hate it when someone screws up the lyrics but then with a story like the electricity board...who cares ;-)
still laughing over the punctuation stuff :D

starbreez said...

can hear viv in my head while reading this post!

Iday said...

lovely :)
cant stop laughing!!!

GuNs said...

did you marry Sameer (the lyricist) by any chance? He makes such atrocious lyrics that I am sure there are thousands besides myself who want to kick his backside and shove something down his throat so he can never ... (err hang, on - he's a lyricist so no use stuffing his throat. How about sticking both his hands together with super-glue? He will still dictate lyrics then. Hmm... let the stuffed throat remain).

Maybe thats why he has an alibi and he now lives with you as VIV.

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs

nycbewda said...

Bhai
Hats of to Viv.
Was he born talented or you created him with your loop songs ;)

Suki said...

OMG.. WHAT is it with men and spoiling songs?

The baby came up with a "Medieval English parody of Deedar De"

It goes...
shudder shudder...
thither they

thither they

Saahil said...

Sorry for this unrelated post. I vaguely remember reading a post on Rekha Bhardwaj, the singer. I thought you might be interested in the following blog post (with comments from Rekha herself): http://passionforcinema.com/sorry-vishal-but-i-love-rekha-bharadwaj/

Devaki said...

Amazing blog Sayesha. I landed up here from desipundit, and loved the post so much that I now keep reading all your archives in my spare time. Love your sense of humour!

The last part about the punctuation - hilarious!

aequo animo said...

ROTFLOL, your writing is excellent.. should go pro :D

Shekhar said...

Awesome !!! The dude has some serious talent...

And you're making fun of him??!!! Shame, shame, Sayesha !! Ghar ki murgi, dal baraabar..

Rajesh J Advani said...
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Kusum Rohra said...

Getting lyrics wrong is much better than being TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS to the lyrics.

My beau is the lyrics-blind variety :D

So time and again when we are getting cosy and coochie cooing he suddenly starts singing sad songs like

"teri gaaliyon main na rakhenge kadam"

when I ask him why would he sing such a song when we are feeling sooo romantic ;) he argues whole heartedly that it's a very romantic song :D

Somya said...

lol..awesome post...must appreciate Viv's originality...hez certainly got this knack for penning lyrics...just reminds me of my best friend shweta who not only changes lyrics but even the music and it takes us some time to realise what is she trying to sing.

Vijay said...

Nice Post, but the credits should go to Viv for his imaginative and unusual lyrics.

Good Fun!!!

Nakshatra said...

gawddd! very creative, both his lyrics and his interpretations,wit punctuations and all.. he he he

Devaki said...

BTW, I find it really funny to be counted among the bewdaas for the first time in my life! :-)

Amit Panhale said...

Sayeshaji, kaise ho aap?

Visiting after ages and this madness filled post immediately induced me to post a comment...!

Ailaa...Viv to ekdum Javed'saab' ban gaya...Sayeshaji kya ab aap unke sunder geet ke haseen bol gaayengi...?!?

Sayesha said...

#Bijesh,
Of course! Congrats on the gold! :P

#Satish,
Maloom tha tu usko support karege, ek jaisa talent jo hai dono mein! :P

#Shub,
Hehehe! :P

#Angelsera,
:D

#Sakshi,
Get in line, sister! :P

#Archana,
Holy cow! I dread to think what will happen to the music industry... :P

#RT,
Haha, sure! :D

#Manchus,
Yeah, that I agree! :)

#Anantha,
Welcome, o lurker, and salaam to you too! :)

#Art,
Hehehe! :P

#Nidhi,
Yep, we're crazily following the series - even though they show it late in the night here - sometimes we record the matches and watch! :)

#Sreejith,
Hehehe! I really liked your comment! :)

#Clueless,
I'm so glad you don't have this "talent" - I'd do mad between the two of you! :D

#Kashika,
Hehehehe! :P

#Adorable Pancreas,
:)

#TinTin,
Errr... okay? :P

#Tejal,
Hahahaha! We had some lengthy discussions about Dravid's resignation... too long for this comment space. :)

#Sudipta,
Hehe yeah! :)

#Dhaval,
:D

#Tarun,
Me groom him on this? Haha! Meri shaamat aayi hai? :P

#Bivas,
Me too! :D

#Starbreez,
:D

#Iday,
Me neither! :)

#GuNs,
Eeeks! I may make fun of Viv but he's way better than that Sameer chap. :)

#NYCbewda,
I do take credit for introducing the original songs to him - without me, he wouldn't even know of the songs to kill them! :P

#Suki,
Eeeeekssssss! Hahaha! :D

#Saahil,
Thanks for the link! :)

#Devaki,
Welcome, and thanks for staying on at the bar! :)

#aequo animo,
Welcome and thanks! :)

#Shekhar,
Hehehehe! :P

#Kusum,
Hahaha! :D
ps: Did you sign in with his account earlier? :P

#Somya,
Haha! Yeah he does that too! Sometimes he mixes like four five songs and comes up with something totally unrecognisable! :D

#Vijay,
Sigh... the credits always go to him... nothing to Bhai! :/

#Nakshatra,
:D

#Devaki,
Well you can't escape that - anyone who's here for more than a post is an official bewda/bewdi! :D

#Amit,
Arre aao thakur! Kaise ho? Bahut dinon baad dikhaai diye! :)

//Ailaa...Viv to ekdum Javed'saab' ban gaya...Sayeshaji kya ab aap unke sunder geet ke haseen bol gaayengi...?!?

Arre nahin nahin, meri yeh zurrat? Sundar geet ke haseen bol Javed saab khud hi gayenge. :D

Kusum Rohra said...

Actually I did.

*sheepish grin*

masroor said...

hey, what song is this? i really wanna download it but i dont remember what it was.. all i can vaguely remember are these few words 'mustafa mustafa, so sorry mustafa'..