Thursday, February 08, 2018

Daily report

Xena has completed a month of primary school. Though we have all settled into our new daily routines, the one thing that's different every day is the hilarious report I get when she gets back from school.


Day 1
Me - How was the first day of school? Did you find your way around easily?

Xena - Yes. But Mama, the toilet tap is sooooo tight I couldn't open it and then I waited and waited till another girl came and I asked her to open it for me.

Day 2
Me - Did you manage to open the tap today?

Xena - Mama, I couldn't even find the toilet today! And when I did, it didn't have the lights on and anyway I can't open the tap because it's too tight and then the bell rang so I have decided I'll pee only at home.

Me - !!!!!!


Day 1

Me - So who are the kids sitting around you in class?

Xena - There is this boy called Aidan. He's very mean. I asked him to move his leg so I could get my bag, but he said go from the other side. So mean. I don't like him at all.

Day 2

Me - Who's your best friend in class?

Xena - Aidan.

Me - Eh? I thought you said he was very mean.

Xena - No, actually he's a little bit mean but actually he's not mean at all. He's my best friend.

Day 3

Me (reading the 'About me' section in her workbook that she has filled) - So your best friend is now Esther?

Xena - No, she's not. Actually we don't know each other.

Me - Huh? Then why did you write her name as your best friend??

Xena - Because she's VERY cute. Like a babyyy. She's soooo tiny and jumpy and cuuuute!


Me (trying to make sense of all the books and materials and timetable) - So this is your art file?

Xena - No Mama, this is the art folder, not the art file. The art file is separate. And there is an art bag also. I don't know if it is in the classroom or my locker [goodness she has a locker!] or with my teacher or at home. It's somewhere.

Me - It's somewhere??

Xena (confidently) - Yes.


Xena - Mama, the one-eyed teacher in my school is very scary. 

Me (I'm thinking mad-eye Moody) - The one-eyed teacher??

Xena - Oh Mama, not the ONE-EYED teacher! The ONE-I teacher. One Integrity! (The sections have names like Honesty, Integrity, etc.)

Me - Oh!


Week 1, day 5

Me - So you must have made some friends in class by now?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Who are your closest friends?

Xena - *rattles off seven names*

Me - Wow, that's a lot of friends for the first week. And do you know any other children's names?

Xena - Yes.

Me - How many names do you know?

Xena - Thirty.

Me - You know all thirty kids' names?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Are you sure?

Xena - Yes. I can write it all down, Mama. Believe me. [Takes a sheet of paper and writes down thirty names]

Me (stumped) - Very good...

Week 2, day 5

Xena - Mama, I wish I was in house XYZ. Most of my friends are in XYZ.

Me - Hmm... and who is in your house?

Xena - *rattles off several classmates' names*

Me - Okay...

Xena - Do you want me to write down everyone's names and houses? I can do it. Believe me, Mama.

Me - Oh, I believe you.


Xena - Oh Mama, we had four periods of PAL (Programme for Active Learning -- a non-academic section of the curriculum) today. It was ALL morning. I am SO tired.

Me - Wow. And what did you do in the four periods of PAL?

Xena - I can't remember...


Xena - Mama, can I have a dollar?

Me - Why?

Xena - There is a pencil with a fan attached to it, in the bookshop. I really like it. Can I buy it?

Me - You'll be able to get it by yourself?

Xena - Yes.

Me - And you will calculate and get the correct change back?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Okay. Here's a dollar. I want the full accounts tomorrow.

Next day...

Me - So did you buy the pencil?

Xena - No, my friend had bought it yesterday and she said it's not very good. So I bought a compass instead.

Me - You bought a compass??

Xena - Yes.

Me - Why?

Xena - I wanted to play with it. To find the direction.

Me - I already have a compass you can play with.

Xena - Oh...

Me - Okay, next time please ask me before you buy anything.

Xena - Ok. Mama, it's soooo fun to buy things at the bookshop! I think I will buy something every day!

Me - No, you will not.


Xena - Mama, can I wear a black hairband and a ponytail to school every day?

Me - Really? Why suddenly?

Xena - Just like that.

Me - Hmmm... let me guess. Does one of your friends wear it like that and you like it?

Xena (stumped at how mommy knows) - Yes...

Me - Well, your hair is different. I need to 'lock' the top towards the side before tying the back. If you wear a hairband and a ponytail, it won't stay neat till the end of school.

Xena - No, Mama, it will!

Me - Okay, let's try it out on a weekend and see how it holds up?

Xena - Okay.

We try it out on a Saturday morning. Two hours later...

Xena (looking at herself in the mirror) - It's very messy, Mama... the front hair is coming out everywhere... looks very jungli...

Me (resisting the urge to say 'I told you so') - Yes. Do you still want to do it for school?

Xena - No.


Xena - Mama, next week we will be skipping rope in PE class. Mr H (coach) has said -- if you know how to skip, then skip.

Me - And if you don't know how to skip?

Xena - Then you just skip it! HA HA HA!

Me - Ha ha! That's a good one. You should tell your coach this joke. That will make him laugh.

Xena (seriously) - Mama, Mr H doesn't laugh.

Me (seriously) - He doesn't?

Xena - No. And he only has two voices -- loud voice and angry voice. Sometimes we don't know which is which.


Week 2, day 1

Xena - Mama, I am very sad today.

Me - Why?

Xena - Because I am not the class monitor.

Me - That's okay. Everyone can't be the class monitor, right?

Xena - Yeah...

Week 3, day 1

Xena - Mama, I am the assistant group leader! YAY!

Me - Wow. Well done! What group is this?

Xena - So each class has different groups, based on the rows of seats.

Me - Oh ok. So what do you need to do as the assistant group leader?

Xena - Nothing.

Me - What do you mean?

Xena - Austin is our group leader. He has to collect the workbooks from our group and give it to the teacher.

Me - And you're his assistant?

Xena - Yes.

Me - Okay. And what do you need to do as the assistant group leader?

Xena - Nothing.

Week 3, day 5


Me - Huh?

Xena - I got to collect the workbooks from everyone! YAY!



Sowmya said...

Hilarious! I love her enthusiasm but at the same time I don't know how she keeps up with her schedule.. I'm 33 and I don't think I can survive a week there. Kudos to Xena :)

Charan Deep Singh said...


How do we know said...

Sayesha.... I miss my child at this age after reading this account. :) He was so different, yet the innocence in the conversation was the same. Such a beautiful account. This is one of my most favorite posts on ur blog.