Thursday, May 27, 2010

Bytes from Kites

Finally, after reading the scary reviews and undergoing the 'To see or not to see' drama, I did it. I watched Kites. And here are my random thoughts after watching it (caution: spoilers present):

  • First things first. I liked the movie. But it seems the reviewers don't like it and the junta doesn't like it (I read that people in India were walking out midway!) and sadly, it's a flop. I had called the theatre at 6.30 pm with my usual, "Aur sunao, dhandha kaisa chal raha hai?" query, aka "Are the tickets for the 7.45 show selling very fast?" and the woman who answered the phone laughed and said all the seats were available. Sheesh.

  • Barbara Mori is a very good actress, and not AT ALL Megan Fox-esque like I'd expected her to be. I think it is very tough to impress people with your acting when you are this good-looking, and she managed it. In fact, I thought she acted better than Hrithik. There was a certain earnestness and sincerity about her that surpassed even Hrithik's.

  • Hrithik and Barbara make an extremely good-looking couple. I didn't find her as hot as it was rumoured, but I did find her very beautiful. Hell, she looked good even with her messy hair and minimal to no make-up!

  • Frankly, I don't think Barbara can make a home in Bollywood, but it would have been nice to have a good actress added to our very limited pool of the barely watchable and almost intolerable ones. And they had to show Raavan's trailer during the intermission to prove my point. Aishwarya, kuchh seekho!!

  • Speaking of bad actresses, how terrible was Kangana in the scene where she breaks into Hrithik's house? I have NEVER heard a worse American accent than the one she tried to put on. Even though the director tried to salvage the scene by putting a baatli in her hands, it didn't help. Kangana should be barred from speaking in English at all times, just like how Deepika Padukone should be barred from speaking in Hindi at all times.

  • It was nice though to see Kangana NOT play a drunk, drugged, psychotic suicidal character.

  • Hrithik, please act in more movies so your strike rate is higher. You tried the Raj-Rahul thingie a la SRK. You tried the body banao thingie a la Sallu. Now you've tried the one-movie-a-year thingie like Aamir. Aise toh tera kuchh nahin hoga, beta.

  • Hrithik sure sounded good in the title song.

  • Kabir Bedi! What the...?! Tumhaare yeh din aa gaye hain??

  • The actor who played Tony is called Nick Brown??? Huh??? Or is he one of those Kalpen Modi turned Kal Penn types? What could his real name be, to make it Nick Brown? Nikhil Brahmachari?

  • What the hell was the OTT hang-upside down torture scene? And the Tony guy actually thought that it was a good idea to let a murder witness get away so "he can go and warn others about what happens to people who cheat in casinos"??? Hey bhagwaaaaaan!

  • They blew up wayyyyy too many cars. Unnecessarily.

  • I remembered the actress who played Kangana's mother from Pardes. Has anyone seen her in a movie where she does not play a snobbish super rich NRI?

  • Pizzadude!! Even Hrithik Roshan can speak more Spanish than you now. Get on with it, lazybum!

  • I have to agree with Shub that Hrithik looked like Jesus Christ in his bearded scenes.

  • Looking at how short she was of time, I actually wondered why Linda bothered to put the ellipse (...) in her last sms. Seedha bolna tha na "OK bye". (I'm kidding about the OK bye. Must. Specify.)

  • Did anyone else notice the similarities between Anurag Basu's earlier Gangster and this one? Forbidden love in a foreign country, the eloping, the violence, the fake passports and a near exact copy of the last scene, down to the post-death union? Come on, man.

  • Yet another movie where the best friend dies. Sigh.

  • Speaking of the post-death scene, the whole underwater thing was so unnecessary. It would have been nice to end the movie with the jump. Splash and finito.

  • Viv actually said that he thought Hrithik would jump into the water in the last scene and find that Barbara is still alive in some underwater cave. *Thunk thunk thunk* I told him that if he were a movie director, only I would watch his movies even I would refuse to watch his movies.


Arun said...

Na chahey sona-chaandi....

Arun said...

Of all the things in your review,
Aise toh tera kuchh nahin hoga, beta.

Beta? Beta?? Beta???


I probably shouldn't see the movie, the mix of extremely beautiful and Jesus Christ might be too much to handle :)

Kavity said...

Totally agree! It was not a bad movie after all. And, she is really a sweet looking and good actress. Not at all the hot looking-bitchy-not actor material combo!

How do we know said...

ha ha ha.. what a coincidence.. i just finished seeing the movie too.. and have a different review of course.

Geomon said...

(wow.have their prices dropped so much that ppl are disclaiming them?)
boss, i won't read thru 4 the fear of spoiling it when i see it.hopefully next week when i return to india :P

Taurus Girl said...

Apt review.. Well written!!
I went with such low expectations coz of the bad reviews n negative word of mouth publicity.. Movie wasnt as bad as ppl made it sound.. Hrithik looks amazing...n so does Barbara Mori...
Keen observation of hrithik aping the Khans.. :)
Agree @ Jesus resemblance..

Arun said...

The review had this:

"In a way, it's as if the US-based Kites and My Name Is Khan are Bollywood's payback for Hollywood's decades of mistreatment of India, most notable in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."

over which me and my Bhaanji were sharing a laugh.

Sowmya said...

Well, I did not like the movie at all but I totally agree that Barbara Mori is a very good actress..

Infact, she's so good that am hoping she won't take other Bollywood offers and end up doing silly "Welcome"s and "Race"s (My logic sounds weird, I know :) )

N said...

Not that bad??????? It was horrible in every way....coincidentally, the blog i just finished reading also had reciews of Kites and my commenst for this movie will just be the same as well:

People told me that there was some great action??? Where was the action buddy? One horrible car/ truck chase, one very ackward jump to the chute!! Ufff....

And the dance...where was the dance, yes just one song where the surprise was delivered by Kangana (since we have never seen her dance) more than Hrithik (whom we have seen dance better in most of his earlier movies). Common Hrithik, I was expecting much more than this!!

There was no story, no dance, and since we are here in India, we dint even got to see the what we wanted to ;D

soumya said...

Cant believe you actually thought Barbara was a good actress.. Well she had hardly anything to do in the movie, other than blabber in her spanish.. She look gorgeous though and Hrithik sure does look like Christ, in every possible way. I could not figure out why he had to over do his acting in the Kangana 'cleaning' house sequence :P

~ Lopa said...

hahaha... i love reading your reviews...

After watching the movie, i thought same that it was not as un-watchable as critics review in India were singing...
I think it being flop in India has more to do with language and international flavor... most of the movie is in English or Spanish ... there are no latka jhatka songs, may be in India audience needs them to feel paisa wasool.

Since last few months we hardly liked any bollywood movie, there are only a few which are released in Europe and after moving here one gets too used to watch Hollywood / English movies that at times those rona dhona sounds like emotional atyachar.

Only thing i wished from "Kites"was, it had more light moments... as whenever they laughed i was like... abbe abhi marega... and to prove me right there was a sound of fire to make them run.... they didn't let my mind rest in peace to laugh with them... haha

nidhi said...

I LOVED the planning to go and watch it a second time. Aur bhai kuch karo Hrithik ka...uska kuch ho na ho, hamara kuch nahi hoga uski one movie a year se :D

Dil se said...

Haven't seen the movie but loved your review !!
LOL "Aise toh tera kuchh nahin hoga, beta !!" Really, where do you come up with these dialogues :-)

Tejal said...

LOL @ "Aur sunao, dhandha kaisa chal raha hai?"
somehow i have a feeling that this post is probably more entertaining than the movie :P

p.s. dontcha worry Viv, I'll watch your movies pakka!! Dont listen to her! :P

Nidhi said...

I liked the first half of the movie too...2nd half was kinda dragging and repetitive, too much violence, too much chasing and too much blood-shed for a love story. I also think Barbara looked earnest and endearing! But yeah, the director totally screwed up the ending..cudnt hv been more cliched. My fav scene from the movie is when they sabotage a car and its driver acts as a translator between the two.

Pri said...

ALL THIS and u still say u liked the movie??? :o :o

Somya said...

well strange as it may sound but even I found this movie okay...but yeh one certainly epxected much more from it...still if you compare it with Housefull and Badmash company I think it was worthy of oscar's...

momofrs said...

Your's was the best feedback I've read till date.
Now I'm actually keen to watch the film...just so that I can recollect your points at the right time :D
thanks :)

Sayesha said...

Hahahaha! I am giving him mummy type advice no? Actually that would be my Mom's advice to him, she adores him! :)

//I probably shouldn't see the movie, the mix of extremely beautiful and Jesus Christ might be too much to handle :)


Yeah!! :)

#How do we know,
Hahahaha! :D

Yeah, do watch it, don't get scared by the reviews! :D

#Taurus Girl,
Yeah I was also wondering if I liked it because I went with such low expectations. :P

Hahahahaha, yeah I read that too. I agreed more with this one over Raja Sen's. :)

I totally know what you mean! :O

Hahahahaha! I didn't go expecting action or dance or whatever. I went because I like Hrithik. :)

I think it is tougher to 'blabber in Spanish' when you're in a non-Spanish movie and still make viewers relate to what you're trying to convey. I admire her for that. :)

Agree with every word in the last paragraph of your comment... do second bhi chain ki saans nahin... poor souls! :|

Second time? WOW! :D

#Dil se,
Hehehehe... kya karein, apune ke ye dialogues dil se nikalte hain! ;)

Oh yeah... I forgot he will have that one member of the audience! :P

I liked the 42 dollars wala scene... where they both smile knowingly at each other while Tony is clueless. That was nicely done. And also when she says to him 'Kip change.' LOL! :D

I liked it. :)

I didn't watch Housefull or Badmaash. Good decision, no? :P

You're welcome. Don't take your words back after watching it! :P

Sudeep said...

Viv banayega movies, dad karenge blog, phir hum bewdas kardenge bhai ko backlog
Muahahahaha! Awesome :P

Kites ka plan karne se pehle hi band ho gayi movie yaha toh.

Impromptu PJ:
Barbara Mori ka bf/husband kaunsa gaana gayega unka jhagda hone ke baad?
Mori piya mohse bolat nahi :P

Arun said...

Finally "watched" Kites - it didn't hold my attention so it ran in the background while I probably saw 5% of it. Wouldn't recommend it.

Arun said...

Ya, probably the best line in the movie is the English subtitle: "I'm the daughter of owl".