Wednesday, November 26, 2008

It happens only in India

Snippets from my recent Delhi-Agra-Jaipur trip:

Road sign that cracked us up - "For accidental help, dial 1033."

Bhumigat paidal paar path = subway. Awesome.

My friend from Hong Kong (pointing to a top) - How much is this?
Shopkeeper - 550 rupees, madam.
Friend - 550 rupees??? That's too much!
Shopkeeper (with a heavy accent, especially on the word 'crepe') - But, Madam, this is crepe material!
Friend - This is crap material?! What the?!!

Dubbed movie playing in local theatre - 'Italian haseena ka pyaar'

Sign on the back of an auto-rickshaw - "Buri nazar wale, tu videsh chala ja." LOL!

Entrance fee to the Taj - 20 rupees for Indians, 750 rupees for foreigners! What the...?!

Guard at Sikandra wants to charge Viv and me 'foreigner fees' because we are with 'foreigners'. What the...?!

Name of a restaurant that suddenly appeared in the middle of the fields during our drive from Delhi to Jaipur - Achanak restaurant.

Name of a sweets shop in Jaipur - Chakh le, India!

Name of a towel shop in Jaipur - Towel hi towel

Had a chance to watch some new hindi movie trailers on TV. That guy Kamal Khan in Deshdrohi... is he for real?? Step aside, Himeshbhai, you've got competition!

All in a day's work - Psychotic driver of ours who spoke on his mobile while driving, barked some very bad words to a cyclist, almost hit four people, took out the bumper of a parked car while backing, and then calmly drove away.

Front page news in the Times of India - A Dutch couple was asked to pay 10,000 rupees for 4 samosas by the shopkeeper who claimed that they contained special herbs and had aphrodisiac qualities. The couple paid up but went to the police. The shopkeeper refunded 9,990 rupees. Sheesh.

Oh no! Singlish has reached India!

Taking a picture in the middle of the road standing next to my friend, the decked-up groom on the decked-up horse - priceless.

Playing dumb charades huddled around the radiators in the lawn waiting for the wedding to begin - hilarious and heart-warming at the same time.

Watching an overnight wedding, while OD'ing on masala chai - an out-of-the-world experience.

Our Rajasthani driver Bholaram calls my mobile several times while we're at the wedding sangeet as he's in a hurry to drop us back to our hotel. We, of course, are having too much fun to want to go back. At his third call, as I look at the ringing phone in despair, my friend from Hong Kong takes the phone from my hand, and answers it, "Bholaram! Wassap?" I don't think I had laughed that hard in ages.

Finally I fulfilled my wish.

Wah Taj wah! It truly lived up to all the hype. I never saw it as a memento of love, but it sure is one heck of a beautiful structure.


bluejay said...

ROFL!! seriously.. one of the best posts!!!..( still laughing ).

Of all the ones above..

*Achanak restaurant*!.. priceless :)

Hope your having fun

Looking forward to reading more!!

Prithi Shetty said...

Too good :) Want more !

starbreez said...

Actually ... your friend from Hong Kong was trying to make a crepe = crap joke cos you'd pronounce "crepe" as "crap" in French -- at least that's what her French teacher told her! :p

starbreez said...

Plus, translations for Hindi jokes, please!

Bhavya said...

Someone seems to be having a lot of fun :)
Good for you, girl!

Stupidosaur said...

Yeah I read the vada pav story in Times of India. But it said nothing about aphrodisiac herbs. Ppl just keep adding to any story I guess!

VIDYA said...

nobOdy yelled GOLD ....

so here i go...."GOLD!"


Prats said...

Awesome, Bhai vacation se wapas aa gayela hai...

Sayesha said...


Hehe! :P

Hahaha! The guy also pronounced it "crap". :)
ps: Will explain all Hindi jokes in person or over email. :)

I sure did have a lot of fun! :)

Not vada pav re... samosa! Google it ("Dutch couple samosas"), you'll find it everywhere! :)

Hahaha! :D

Haan yaar... waapas aa gaya apun. :(

SMM said...

Hey Sayesha...I'm a recent reader of your blog. Sounds like you'v had a wonderful time in India :)

Apun ka bharat mahan hai after all

Sum said...

Lol! Wow.... nice ones!!! Could have kept reading any number of such instances! So u've had a good fun here.....

Urv said...

Oh yeah, The Taj is one heck of a structure. The moment you come out of the last gate and get a full view of the Taj against the open backdrop.. Mannn.. Thats such a sight.. Nai..

And then u walk down the pathway in total awe of it.. Just imagine how it would have been if the Black Taj was also constructed..

Did ya get any of those silly pics where one appears to be lifting the Taj n all.. :) I did..

The comment's getting too long now.. hehe.. Lemme mail..

bluejay said...

u guys not anywhere in mumbai right?!

Macho Girl said...

Road trips in India are so cool and extremely funny! I had an entire folder of funny signs from those trips :P Saw stuff like "Unique general stores", "Gravity Hotel" serving "Confex and snex". The most disturbing was the way the "use dipper" message was written behind trucks - Use Dipper Good luck at Nights :-/

santasizing...Fantasizing said... filled trip:)
that bholaram was amazing:)

Welcome back!!

R said...

as usual..great post!!!


TS said...

re.. have u been to hyderabad? you have to give it to the guy who owns.. 'bookish book shop' here, and the people who live at 'Aliens Residences' built by.. who else.. 'Aliens Group'. lol.

Sanchit said...


Stupidosaur said...

2.50 Rs deep fried salty fast food sold on thela. Same thing both :P

BTW, Prophetic title. Something else also happened only in India on the same day

Jaya said...

:) The sweet shop has a fantastic name. I agree for Taj. I saw once 12 years back. It is a beautiful structure no doubt.

Jakes said...

Bhai.. wapas aa gaya!! Sahi!!
Yaar.. par apne Mumbai ki to vaat lageli hai :(

here i 'm said...

Laughed through out the post.
After bearing with more than 55 hours of "mumbai terror" ... i think this is first time i've laughed so much.. thanks :)
Glad that your india trip was great fun... and safe too :)

AlmostAnonymous said...

Interesting post. But what's your message about the congress tag line ? - I couldn't understand if you were ridiculing the sign or praising it or something else.
FYI, it was created by a team of smart and creative people from a well known firm called "Crayons". So again, are you mocking/ridiculing the signs ? Just curious.

Also, having heard a "crepe"load (pun intended) of different languages in different parts of the world from different people with different accents, it doesn't strike me when I hear weird pronunciations in India anymore. Give it some time, you will get used to it. First 10 years - everything looks and sounds funny when you visit India.

Anonymous said...

Glad you had fun!


anshuj said...

Bhai having fun in India.
Stories from Rajasthan make me nostalgic. I want to go home ... :(

Stupidosaur said...

You changed the progress-congress pic?


I was just about to pilfer the old one and write a post on it.

They new one doesn't quite cut it :P. Its all proper English. Not Singlish.

Anyways, I am stealing/borrowing/share-copying the new one(steal/borrow doesn't seem to apply in computer world. How can someone steal/borrow it and it still remains with the original owner?)
I'll put link to this post in my post, with all due credit :)

Let me know if you mind.

Stupidosaur said...

Thats where it is now.
In case you wanted to object after knowing the context where I put the pic