Sunday, December 09, 2007

Lost Christmas

Christmas is in the air!

'Tis the season to be jolly!

In the true spirit of giving, I wanna give too. Give some gaalis to the people who make the playlists for the malls. Now I'm not anti Christmas carols, but I'm not a big fan either. The only one I have liked so far is my friend's remix rendition of Rudolph. It goes something like "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny Ahuja!" Any doubts as to why it's my favourite Christmas carol ever? :D

Of course there was another one I recently encountered. Now that the cricket season is over, Viv still finds himself waking up early and having nothing to do, composes Christmas carols. Just yesterday, I found myself waking up to him crooning about how he was making a snack for Santa. Huh? He not only sang the entire carol to me as an anti-lullaby three times, he even made me sing it when my eyes opened. Sheesh. I'd like to share the torture with all bewdas here. May this 'carol' get stuck in your head. Amen.

(Viv to Santa)
Riding through the snow
On a one-horse open sleigh
Where are you gonna go?
(Santa to Viv)
Far far away!

(Viv to Santa)
When will you come back?
I've made a tasty snack
(Santa to Viv)
I'll come back very soon
I'm just going to the moon.

I'm not surprised Santa ran off to the moon to get away from Viv's snack, and worse, his song. It made me quite loony too. But not as loony as the Christmas carols played in the malls make me.

Carols in the malls are fine, sometimes they do bring more cheer than some of the top ten songs with the awful lyrics that we otherwise have to listen to all year. But I feel the veins in my temple popping out when they start playing 'Last Christmas I gave you my heart'. I just don't get it. Why do they play that song every single year? Hell, it's not a Christmas song! It's just a heartbreak song sung by a road romeo, the kind who stands in the streets and rings his bicycle bell when you walk past, and sings the nicest of romantic songs in the most awful manner? Of all the things I don't miss about living in India, this tops the list. But looks like the road romeos are expanding and are quite an international organisation now. Check out the lyrics:

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special"

So every year this guy just picks someone to give his heart to, sheds some tears and then picks his next 'victim' the following year? Lucha lafunga road romeo is all I have to say! Just because the song has the word "Christmas" in it, it has become a carol now. Sheesh.

(This reminds me of Sting saying in an interview that he often wonders why people play his "Every breath you take" during their weddings. "It's not a love song," he said, "It's a stalker song.")

The jolly spirit of Christmas is lost if depressing songs like this keep playing everywhere, every year. As far as I am concerned, Christmas is all about Christmas sales, about buying fabulous things at great prices, but the song is ruining it all. The other day, I was looking at a pair of fabulous Christmas sale boots going at $79. I was wondering what expensive gift I could get Viv so I wouldn't feel bad if he got me the boots, when Last Christmas started playing. I was out of there in a flash.

Kailash Kher once said of the success behind Himesh Reshammiya's songs, "His songs always have words repeated several times (think "junoon junoon junoon junoon, aashiq banaya aashiq banaya aashiq banaya, naam tera tera naam tera tera"). If you listen to them enough number of times, they will embed themselves in your head and you start liking them."

Going by that theory, maybe a few Christmases down the line, I'll actually start enjoying the song.

Oh boy, just the thought of that is depressing me more.


Aathira said...

hehe... jus for the sake of saying "gold"" , I leve the "comment"!! ;)

Unknown said...

Silver !!!! Wow Im so glad

Unknown said...

Hilarious Post Bhai ! As always , enjoyed it. I too think some
so-called christmas carols, played in the malls, are depressing !

mythalez said...

lol ....
one two three start!
"Last christmas, you sang me this song
I ran far far away and hid until May.
This christmas, you will sing it again
All my running and hiding was in vain! "

aequo animo said...

Oh Carol! :D

Sanchit said...

the song has to be nice thats why our the great anu malik ji copied it for akele hum akele tum.. even i wondered if this guy sang it every year he must be having affairs at a very alarming rate

Sandip Chaudhuri said...

:lol funny, considering its George Michael's song someone special could well be a guy,
You havn't seen the video have you? He starts singing the song with to Girl A while he is with girl B and end the song with Girl A again :D,
Oh yeah Girl B ends up with Boy A who came with Girl A.

Exactly what kind of family Christmas was he talking about here, brothers sharing ?

Bivas said...

//If you listen to them enough number of times, they will embed themselves in your head and you start liking them

Reminded me of my mba classes & advertising theory. They use the repeatability theory to sell the products...(Nirma...Nirma...Washing powder Nirma!)
Anyway...I love that Last Christmas song but agree with you...totally wrong situation to play it.

Just Jane said...

remember the shiny ahuja pic i once sent? :D he was wearing a red tshirt too! looking rather chrismassy and could probably pass off as rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! :P

Rays Of Sun said...

Lolz, I used to keep singing this "Last Christmas" song when I got into US. This labmate of mine hated me for that. One day he yelled at me and said,"I got divorced last christmas':O
Ever since I shied away from this:D

dharmu said...

i used to love the tune of the "last christmans" until i tried to understand the lyrics!

Sayesha said...

Aao thakur! :D

Hehe! Thanks! :P

Hehehee! Wondering what I did from May to December though! :P

#Aequo Animo,

//even i wondered if this guy sang it every year he must be having affairs at a very alarming rate

Hahaha! Exactly! It's like his heart is some crappy movie award that he must give out every year! :P

Oh man! I haven't seen the video. I doubt I can sit through it! :D

Hahaha! Washing powder nirma... I used to get disgusted at how short the nirma girl's skirt was... hehe! :P

Hahaha! YEAH! :D

#Rays of Sun,
Arre tu yahan?? Aaj saare old timer bewdas are in the bar! :D

So are you still singing the song this Christmas? :D

I used to love Anu Malik's "Dil mera churaya kyun" till I discovered that it wasn't just the dil he churaoed, but also the tune! HMMPH! :/

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Bivas said...

me had posted the video on my page I think...u hv probably seen it

The Mad Girl said...

Brilliant post!!!Loved it!

Rays Of Sun said...

Tu nahi atee mere yahan:-(

relativelyrain said...

I wanted to add my own version of "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" here but in fear of u becoming loony, shall abstain....

Heh, have a jolly Xmas yeah....

rt said...

But its a lovely song totally uncalled for as a christmas carol!

pg said...

Brilliant post

parikrama said...

Taai (that's gender opp of Bhai),

You talking about Malls ? Therez no escaping these songs even in my office building lobby. Just the other day I was telling one of my friends how I had trouble concentrating while in the loo, with the piped music blaring "I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus.. Underneath The Mistletoe.. Blahaa Blaah Blaah". Thanks to this song, now there are two traumatised souls : the kid who saw his mummy kissing a dirty old man dressed in Red.. and me the unsuspecting helpless listener of this cheesy songs. *sigh*

I am with you on this. If you ever bring up a petition for banishing these songs.. I will be first to sign up & say 'Aye'.

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

Best thing about Christmas is Cakes and Pastries from Kookie Jar. :)

Sayesha said...

Oh yeah! Now I remember! But can't remember what happens in the video! :P

#The Mad Girl,
Thanks! :P

#Rays of Sun,
Abbe tu hi dukaan band karke patli gali se nikal li thi! :/

Go on - share your rendition too! Maybe Viv and you can have a duet! :D

I like the tune very much, but the lyrics suck! :P

Thank you. :)

Taai??? Kya re? Tu apun ko taai bola???? *rolls up hypothetical newspaper and thwacks Parikrama's head*

Apun Bhai hai Bhai! Samjha? Nahin samjha toh apun ka chhokra log samjha dega achhi tarah se! :D

*calms down*

Yeah, the mummy kissing SC is the worst of the worst!!!! :/

Hehe! To me, the best thing about Christmas is snow. :) Unfortunately, Singapore doesn't get any! :/

Rosh said...

Christmas is all about spreading Cheer and glad tidings!
Yeah. I guess some of the so called Carols may be corny (esp. I saw mummy kissing Santa ..".
And BTW, Last Christmas, is NOT a Christmas Carol! Whoever told you that it is; needs to be gunned down immidiately.

Cheers (doing my bit for Xmas :-),