Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Du-b(h)ai - the mother ship beckons

I am very very busy at work these days. End-of-year assessment period is never easy. I have to do appraisals, look at mergers and acquisitions, organise the annual symposium, sort out performance bonuses to give out, assess my global network and come up with creative ways to increase it, and what not. Uffff! After all, being a Bhai is not an easy job.

Waise tension nahin lene ka - apun ka global employee network toh akha duniya mein chaadar ki tarah phailela hai. India mein Satish mast kaam kar rela hai - akha country akela sambhaalta hai chhokra. Bahut tarakki karega. US mein baby Aish toh bachpan se hi apun ka naam roshan kar reli hai. (Uska size aur US ka size compare karo toh ricard is impressive - big fat bonus to her. Gives new meaning to the term 'baby bonus' eh?) UK mein bhi apun ne teen char gunda-type cousins bichha diya hai (family ka khayaal toh rakhna padta hai na). Apun ko bachpan mein bahut maarta tha yeh log, abhi laga diya doosron ko maarne mein - better utilisation of energy and resources.

December is also the time for 'SAsh Bhai's Annual Symposium for Bhaigiri, Englis-spikking, Wasooli, Dadagiri and Assorted Skills' - also known as 'SABAS, BEWDAS'. Every year, the symposium is held in different parts of the world at undisclosed locations to give sabasi to bewdas who, with their exemplary work have been an inspiration to many a new chhokra in the business. The symposium also serves to facilitate knowledge- and skill-sharing between international bewdas. The location of the symposium is so secretive that sometimes even Bhai ka khud ka chhokra log don't make it there because they can't locate the errr.. location. In the symposium, strategies are discussed, money is handed over to the Bhai, and bonuses given out (to those who manage to find the location of the symposium and get their asses there - it's a test I have designed for them).

Location kabhi repeat nahin karne ka - pulis ka khatra hai. Ekich motto hai Bhai ka - akha duniya cover karne ka. US, UK, New Zealand, India, Singapore, Malaysia, The Philippines, Hong Kong, Cambodia, Pakistan - Bhai's done 'em all.

And now it's time to... Du-bai.

Ah, the mother ship beckons.

Is baar bar meich khullam khulla location bol dala - apun ka ilaka hai na. Toh ja rela hai apun - bar par nazar aur bheje par control rakhne ka, rada nahin mangta apun ko, samjha?

See you at the symposium, bewdas! Those who make it, I mean. I'll see the rest of you when I get back to Singapore.

Bole toh - dekh lega apun tum sab ko. :D



Femba Girl said...

I read your blog pretty regularly and I've noticed the gold,silver,bronze system for comments. So do I get the gold this time?:)
Btw in case you haven't guessed, I totally enjoy reading your posts!

aequo animo said...

Ah Silver!,( a great upgrade from the Iron last time ;) )

Ps: real comment later :D

aequo animo said...

Have fun! and lets say Hop to Scotch?

Bivas said...

Totalli Kaanfused...(just woke up from bed so maybe dats y)
If dis means u travelling...then cool...get lotsa stuff from duty free shops...more shoes maybe ;-)
n i gaat bronze :D

Shekhar said...

Chal hataa saawan ki ghataa... yeh gold, silver aur bronze waale kahaan se aa gaye?? Apun ko bhai ke saath abhi bij-ness ka baat karne ka hai, kya?

Ae Sayesha Bhai... bole toh Salaam! Tum bindaas Dubai jao aur enjoy karo. Apun tumhaare bar ka kalkatta waala chapter ekdum raapchik chalaayega.. as usual. Aur haan, apun ke 3 bhai log ka pikchur aane waala hai iss weekend pe... bole to 'Welcome'.. dekhna mat bhoolna. Usme woh maina Katrina bhi hai.. :D

Kya samjhaa?? Jhakaas !!!

(P.S. Let met stop this caffeine inflicted language and grab this opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas in advance 'coz I'm not very sure you'll be back by then. Merry Christmas :) )

Thisisme said...

aila...in top 10 after a longggg time!now lemme go n read this.. :D

Thisisme said...

more ailaaa..ur off to one of my topmost to be visited country...! lucky u! :)

Jaya said...

Have fun in Dubai. Hope you get to wasool lots of shoes and jeans !

Unknown said...

New Year's in Dubai haan? Have a galla time :)

dharmu said...

mast bhai!!!enjoy karo.

aur aate waqt, apunke ke waste 2 peti gold biscuit laana. soild, calorie free or sugar free.

mythalez said...

Du-bhai main baaki bhai logon ko mera salaam bolne kaa :P

Amey said...

Bhai Dubai se updates karega na? Kisko sabasi mila, kisko bonus me goli mila sub kuch...

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...


Aap kis tarha ka bhai hain? - softbhai like Munna-bhai ya hardbhai like Sanju-baba bhai of Vastaav?

Dubai me aapka meeting kahan hoga? The tallest building "Burj" sahi rahega kya?


Crime Master said...

So, did the people in bhai-land sing - ghar aaya mera pardesi song? :P I'm sure they must be glad to have their Sardar back! :P

Crime Master said...

Sardar bole toh, leader!

Dev said...

Bole toh... bhai ko happys journeys!

Ish said...

Bhai, kidhar ho? abhi tak TZP dekha nahin kya? jaake pehle TZP dekho aur review karo.

kya filum baanaya yaar, zarror oscar key liye bejdeenge.. 2008 mein.


~ PragyaN ~ said...

hey... somehow found your blog n am glad that I found it. Have read almost all your posts and the more I read, the more I like it. You are just an amazing blogger... your posts are so full of life!!

Keep entertaining n I am sure, I will be one of the potential customers of your bar ;)