Monday, October 31, 2005

The budget airline that wouldn't budge

Yesterday, a friend and I went to check out a holiday package for the new year. Now I have never been involved in the actual booking process of a budget airline before, though I did experience a frightening budget airline flight earlier this year.

So there I was, at the travel agent's, looking really lost, while my paranoid friend (hereinafter referred to as PF) did the actual talking to the travel agent (TA), while freaked out Sayesha (FOS) looked on with wide eyes.

The travel agent started giving us details on the package.

TA - And oh, seats are pre-allocated so you don't have to run in and grab yours.

FOS - Run in and grab seats in a plane?? You mean people do that???

PF - Oh yeah, on some airlines they do!

FOS - And what if you don't get a seat? Do you stand and fly?

TA - Oh no, there are sufficient number of seats, just that on some budget flights, you have to run in to grab the best seats.

Thought bubble of FOS - So the only way you can be upgraded to business class is if you knock out a fellow passenger?

TA - And as you know, no food or drinks will be served.

FOS - Well, I guess they'll give us water?

TA - Err... no...

FOS - What?? No water??? So what -- we bring our own food and water?

TA - You can... but do be discreet...

FOS - Discreet? Discreet?? They don't give us food or water and they expect us to be discreet??? So what, we hide in the toilet and eat??

PF - There are toilets on board, right???

FOS bursts into uncontrollable laughter.

TA - Of course, of course.

FOS - So if they don't give us food, and we can't take our own, do they expect us to starve to death or what??

TA - No, you can buy food from them.

FOS - Oh okay! Not too bad then.

TA - Errr.... Just that... errr... one sandwich costs 6 dollars.

FOS - 6 bucks for a sandwich??? Are they freakin' crazy???

TA - Well... Errr...

FOS - Hmmm... Anything else you should warn us about?

TA - No no, that's all. It's exactly like any other flight.

Thought bubble of FOS - Errr.. yeah right... right..

PF - So will there be stewardesses on board or not?

Thought bubble of FOS - Errr... more importantly, will there be a pilot on board or not??

TA - And oh, there's no in-flight entertainment, of course.

FOS - No worries. I think we're already very entertained.


Anonymous said...

Entertained we are ! Atleast they dished out a nice little "Be warned" session beforehand.When I flew Air Deccan , I thought the snacks were for free , like other airlines.So I ate quite a lot.Then the hostess comes up.

She ( with a smile which was a perfect semi circle ) - Sir , did you enjoy your meal ?
Me - Oh , it was great.Nice.Nice.
She - Thank you.That would be XXX bucks ( obscenely high amount ).
Me ( to myself ) - Shit.I want a parachute.I want to jump off this plane now.
Me ( to her ) - Err.Yeah.The food was good.Here is the money.
It left me a good three feet below the poverty line.

Anonymous said...

I am the first guy to comment on this post and I did not even yell " Me first !".Modesty is my middle name.And Happy Diwali !

Adi Oso-Groot Finch said...

now this bit abt AirDeccan aint true... having flown them quite a few times .... the thing i find good is that all things are priced MRP... no service charges or hidden costs... exactly at the same price as I'd get them at kamal da's.

moreover, when compared with the premium charged for 'service' by other airlines whatever u paid ObSc... would be peanuts

Adi Oso-Groot Finch said...

n sayesha... all TAs do that kinda scaring thingy when talking abt low cost airlines...

simple funda: lower ticket prices imply lower commissions imply lower earnings for them. so they drive people towards full service airlines by these 'advices' so they can earn better margins.

Anonymous said...

what is this - joka boys reunion?

Ashish Gupta said...

hey that was pretty entertaining :D
ROTFL @ "FOS" --> full of shit ;)

ok ok ok i wont dig at you anymore for such a hilarious post. thanks for warning us beforehand!

//Shit.I want a parachute.
u see bhai needs a parachute to shit- in open =)) =))

rimjhim said...

'Present Ma'm '!!!
Hey please mark my attendace in sayesha's..
I ve been busy for quite a missed mam's notes!!

This was funny and hilarious Sayesha..

Have seen many shades of ur writing..everyone is gud enf..has its own beauty , color , flavour ..and I Love them all

Anonymous said...

Hahaaha.....Sayesha, that was sooo funny. I can see FOWES (Freaked out, wide-eyed Sayesha) with her thought bubbles very clearly :-) The sandwich cost certainly doesn't seem "budgeted". On domestic flights here in the US, I feel like a bhikhari getting those mini-packets of peanuts or pretzels. And to think they cant spare a few dollars from our ticket money to give us a nice hot sandwich or something once inside? (shaking my head :-) Never really 'bought' a meal in a plane yet. Hey, better be prepared Sayesha....pata nahi what all surprises you might get once you are on there :-))

Jay said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pradyot said...

Which airlines is this??? :O
And why does your friend want to travel budget anyways?

Pradyot said...

ok.. that was a stupid question to ask.. he wants to save money of course... but at what cost!! :O
I would rather not go on holidays than go on such a flight.

Ravi said...

So do they have stewerdesses? If they don't, I can almost picture the scene. No stewerdesses means fultoo dhoom dhadaka. You can be literally jumping & dancing around when the plane is taking off or landing. Nobody to control you. I always wanted to do that as a kid & maybe even now instead of being tied to seatbelts for the bloody take off.

And no stewerdesses means people roaming around, enjoying instead of behaving like well mannered mature (minding own business) adults that they normally behave like. It will be wild. All the best for the flight!! hahaha

And how come they serve food & not water?

Sahil said...

...and I thought the cinema I went into with free seating was a crazy idea.....

Sayesha said...

Oooh 13 comments - my fav number! :P

//It left me a good three feet below the poverty line.

Hahahaha! :D

Happy Diwali to you too, buddy! :)

I'm totally unfamiliar with the concept of paying for airlines food yaar! :O

What is joka boys? Sounds like a really bad boy band.

Tere muh se aaj tak koi achhi baat nikli hai mere blog par???

You're not eligible for the end-of-year exam due to poor attendance at Sayeshaz. Am afraid you have to repeat another year here. :P
ps: Itni tareef kar di, chal grace marks se paas! :)

Yeah! FOWES was so FOWE ki poochho mat!! :O

//I feel like a bhikhari getting those mini-packets of peanuts or pretzels.

Hahahahahaaha! Girl, that was so hilarious! :D

Why did you remove your comment man??

It was indded a stupid question to ask! :P My friend (it's a girl by the way) and I both decided to take a budget airlines.

//I would rather not go on holidays than go on such a flight.

Kya bol raha hai???? I live for holidays! One day we're all jus gonna drop dead. Usse pehle jitni duniya dekhni hai dekh lo! :)

No stewardesses? Hahaha! I think we will have a bhangra party in the plane! :D

Free seating in cinema?? Hahahaha! That would only happen in the case of really bad hindi movies I suppose? I was once in a movie where there were only seven other pple in the theatre! :O

Ravi said...

Joka is the place in Kolkata where IIM Cal is located I guess.

And you did not answer the question....How come they serve food & not water?

Rays Of Sun said...


Budget airlines..never heard of that one! Well, anyhow..not getting anything is better than just getting Pretzels in american airlines and some stupid OJ.

Sayesha said...

Arre they serve everything! Just that you have to pay for it.

Stupid OJ? Did ya call my favourite drink stupid?? Waaaaaaa!!! :'(

Tarun said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. And it's pretty nice conversation...btw what are those so called budget airlines and in which country?

Anonymous said...

present mam! ... yest i had fever the hole night so i couldnt come :-

arey.. itna jaldi newyr plans...

Priya said...

hahahaha.. ROTFL!
u know me never been on a plane.. :(anybody willing to sponsor? ;)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! First time with a budget airlines, eh?? It is rather amusing to pay 4 dollars for a cup of noodles! The flights are so boring, there is nothing else to do but eat! I've taken a couple of short flights on them...apart from the lack of entertainment, they're not too bad! Good value for money if you're going on holiday! Saves u plenty of money for other things! ;)

Happy Diwali Btw :)

Humjoli said...

lemme know where u r heading, will catch up with you ;)

Vikram said...

Hahaha...that was funny...

//PF - So will there be stewardesses on board or not?

That was funnier..hahaha

Kroopa Shah (Kr00pz) said...

OMG!! Don't tell me this was a true experience. Never heard of stuff like this!!

Parth Anand said...

lol....such is the irony...with no free entertainment...still some of these airlines dont fit in the budget...
but grab your seat part was hilarious...didnt know some airlines had that

Sayesha said...

#Third eye,
The country is Singapore and the airlines I cannot name for fear of blog shut-down.

Haan yaar, advanced planning toh karna padta hai for two reasons: (1) to have something to look forward to after the damn exams, and (2) to ensure that tickets don't get all sold out 'cos it's the holiday season.
ps: Fever night mein, aur miss kiya morning class? Ask your mom to see me tomorrow.

Well, looking at the cost of sandwiches on my so-called budget airlines, I may not be left with enough to sponsor you a trip, but I can promise you free accomodation if you ever decide to drop by Singapore. :)

New entry? Welcome to Sayeshaz! :) Yeah man, am wondering what on earth we're gonna do for four hours man! I think we should really have a bhangra party on board, something like what happened in 'Pyaar toh hona hi tha'! :P
ps: Happy Diwali to you too, my dear!

You're gonna stalk two holidaying girls, eh? ;)

Yeah, it was incredibly funny how PF kept asking all the questions -- Is there a toilet? Are there stewardesses? -- which I was asking in my head! :P

Yeah baby, all true. Even I could not believe it at first! Especially the run to grab your seats part! :D

Yeah man, looks like the budget airlines ain't gonna budge. Gotta live with it.

Bhole said...

Sayesha....airline ka naam to bataoo :) Sounds like an interesting new year package ;)

Adi Oso-Groot Finch said...

ravi ij rite. though 'joka buys reunion' doesnt sound familier... we havent yet departed :)

Sayesha said...

Mera blog shut down ho jaayega yaar... I dun take no names! :P

You're a joka boy?? Hahahaha! What a 'joka'!
ps: Err... what a bad joka, Sayesha! :P

Humjoli said...

stalk??? i was thinking of having fun with you guys not STALKING. Kuchh jyada ho gaya

Sayesha said...

Chill yaar I was just pulling your leg! :D

Neel Arurkar said...

We have a similar Air Deccan here :-). But no frills is okay for me. At times I get to travel at less than rail or bus fare :-)

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Reminds me of the time I had to pay through my nose for a seat on a "luxury-bus" and ended up running in to grab a seat -- at least you had advanced warning!

I couldn't help but notice -- "Discrete"?

-- Regular reader and another editing maniac

Sayesha said...

I'm actually not much of a frills person, but this actually sounded a bit scary! :P

Oops, didn't notice that, must be the 'discrete variables' I'm studying in my course these days! Thanks for pointing out!

Btw, I would not call myself an editing maniac. I just happen to work as an editor.

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