My word!

Check out the first set of tiles I got in a game of Words With Friends. :D

The warrior princess diaries - III

No no no, I haven't completely forgotten about the bar. It has been at the back of my mind along with the 383846458292846585 other things I have promised myself I would do something about as soon as Xena gives me some time. And here I am.

• My dad is now here to see baby Xena. Which also means that he and my mom will leave soon. She has been here for almost two months, and Dad always gets here towards the tail-end of her visits because his third kid -- his garden -- cannot be left unattended for more than two weeks. Hmmph! I was totally getting used to chai and gupshup with mom and Xena (just to be clear -- no chai for Xena, gupshup only).

• Speaking of my dad, he has gone nuts. Coconuts to be precise. He has a cough so he has quarantined himself for a few days before he can play with Xena, so he spends his time on the beach picking up coconuts to plant in his backyard! There are now four very large coconuts next to his suitcase that he looks lovingly at every day, while Mom shakes her head in disbelief. (Okay, it's very strange to be blogging about him knowing that he will be on this very computer in a few hours reading this and saying, "Arre you blogged about me??")

• Dad also said that he is extremely amused that his 'wild, carefree and happy-go-lucky daughter' is now 'a responsible mother'. (His words, not mine.)

• I do know what he means though. Sometimes I myself can't believe that Viv and I are parents. Maybe it was because of all that we went through or the fact that she came to us two months earlier than expected, but sometimes we just look at her and ask each other, "Oh my goodness, did we really make this one?" But then there are moments when I totally feel like a mother, like when she sees me and gives a sudden smile, or when I am making the bed and I see her tiny pillow tucked between Viv's and mine, or when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and see her stroller in a corner of the dining room, or when I am folding her laundry and I hold up a tiny sock, totally amazed.

• Oh. Em. Gee. Dad cracked what I believe is his first ever Bollywood joke! That too involving Xena! "Xena isi ka naam hai." He declared.

• The very musical Xena woke me up this morning by reaching out and strumming my lips as if they were guitar strings. Seriously, there is no better alarm clock than a baby who wants to play at 6 in the morning every day.

• I read that babies laugh hysterically if you rip paper in front of them. I verified this successfully. Xena laughed so loudly my mom actually got a little scared and asked me to stop. Unfortunately, it was a one-time offer only. She refused to repeat it in the same way when Viv got home. I have since torn up 373855839320274 newspapers but all I get from her is a "My mommy has gone completely bonkers" look.

• Xena went to Pizza Hut! Her first outing to an air-conditioned public place (well, excluding the hospital, of course). Well, she didn't do much other than napping and throwing up (well, there has to be some drama. And that's how she marks her territory. Been there done that. Literally.) but it was a big step for our confidence in taking her out more. One of the waitresses there recognised us and said, "Oh my goodness, you had a bayyy-beee!"

• I am beginning to believe that throwing up on her outfits is her way of telling me that she doesn't approve of what I make her wear. Ahem.

• My mom has come up with this ingenious way of vomit management. Since Xena tends to throw up right after a feed when we're burping her, Mom just hands her a small plastic container and makes her sit up. It's hilarious to see her actually holding the container herself and waiting for (a) the burp, or (b) the throwing-up.

• She is generally a lively kid and grins very widely when she's happy (which is most of the time). In fact, sometimes I forget that she's not a regular baby and still needs special care. She had a follow-up visit with the hernia surgeon who thinks that further surgery will most probably not be required. Touchwood. We are seeing the cardiologist next month about the hole in her heart. Fingers crossed that all goes well.

• She continues to amaze me with the list of what disturbs her sleep. I was channel surfing with her sleeping on my lap when I switched to a channel that was showing 'India - A Love Story'. It's a Brazillian TV show, where Brazillian actors play Indians and these "Indians" are shown to be wearing sherwanis and maang tikaas when they go to buy vegetables. Sheesh. But that's another story. So the title song of this show is 'Beedi jalai le'! (Trust me. I am not making this up.) and it stars Himesh Reshammiya (ok I made that up.) So Xena slept through Sunidhi Chauhan yelling "Beedi jalai le!!" at the top of her voice, but woke up because I cracked a knuckle.

• I read that now is about the time when she will start recognising her own name and responding to it. Oh my goodness. She has like one thousand names, 999 of them courtesy of my mom. No, I cannot disclose any of them, as your kid may be in school with my kid some day and I will not want my kid coming home to me in tears because someone told everyone at school about the embarrassing nicknames that her grandma gave her.

• She is finally big enough to fit into the very pretty lehenga-choli that Shub got for her, and here's a picture of my dancing queen.

Picture perfect

I was holding Xena and strolling along the beach yesterday when Clueless took this lovely picture of us that I absolutely had to stick on the bar's notice board.

Love how we are mere specks amidst nature's grandeur. :)

A nose for trouble

MTV is shocking.

Shocking shocking shocking.

I got a big shock the other day, and I thought I should warn all of you out there who may unknowingly switch on the TV and see what I saw, and hear what I heard. And I think Xena did too. Oh the horror.

Lock your doors and windows. Hide your kids.

He is back.

(And no, he is not better.)

V-oil-a!

Sometimes the funniest compliments come from the most unusual sources. Come to think of it, they probably never meant it as a compliment but we extracted one anyway. I remember being super thrilled when the bouncer at a casino entrance in Malaysia demanded to see proof of age before he let me in. Muahahaha! Today something similar happened.

I had taken Xena to the hospital for her follow-up with the surgeon. I also dropped by the hospital's pharmacy to pick up a bottle of MCT oil, as Xena's current bottle is running low. MCT (Medium-chain triglyceride) oil is something that helps in quick weight gain. As Xena's birth weight was very low, MCT oil had been prescribed by her doctors to help her put on weight quickly. However, you can't simply pick up a bottle of MCT oil in the pharmacy and head to the cashier; you have to order it through the pharmacist.

Me - Hi, I'd like to order a bottle of MCT oil.

Pharmacist - Sure, ma'am. For yourself or baby?

:D :D :D :D :D

A small wish

Every year, I try to plan or be part of something special for Viv's birthday -- sometimes a triple surprise, sometimes a kidnapping, and sometimes just some silly poetry. This year, things have just been so hectic with Xena that I couldn't think of anything elaborate. Add to that the fact that Viv is away on work in Amsterdam.

So I decided to outsource it to Xena. (Child labour?)

Mom and I had secretly bought a 'I <3 Dad' t-shirt last week, and kept it hidden till Viv had flown off. So for his birthday, I clicked a picture of Xena in the t-shirt and sent it with a birthday wish to Viv from Xena's gmail account (of course she has one!). Needless to say, it made his day! :D

Game is up!

The warrior princess diaries - II

IambackIambackIambackIambackIambackIamback!!!!!

Okay, a lot has happened since the last update on the warrior princess that I posted in early July. Friends who read my blog would have read some of these updates on Facebook, but I still wanted to keep everything in one place on the blog for archiving purposes.

• The big news first. I quit my awesome awesome job at the prestigious 204-year-old publisher. :( But... but... but... I have a new job. My new boss is extremely demanding, likes to play politics, makes everyone work overtime, talks nonsense, wears tiny outfits and is often spotted drinking or napping. But she is very generous with the bonus -- a huge toothless grin reserved only for her mommy. Yep, that's right. I have decided to be a stay-at-home-mommy until Xena's hospital visits and medication stop. Even though I will miss the career I had painstakingly built by breaking free from the shackles of engineering and bulldozing my way into publishing, Xena needs my company more than a company needs me. We thought long and hard about it, and decided this was the best for her. Her special needs mean that we can't place her in a childcare centre or have a nanny. Though one set of Xena's grandparents will be here most of the time, we did not want grandparenting to be so stressful for them. They should not be measuring medicines and running to the hospital and keeping note of the baby's throwing up. They have already had their share of stress in life, and should now just spend time agoo-ing with their granddaughter.

• Xena is still on a lot of medication and supplements, which need to be given in very precise quantities (sample this -- 2/3rd of a 2.5-ml spoon, 8 times a day. What the...?!), and if she throws up (which she does regularly), it needs to be adjusted in the next feed. So I have to do weird calculations like this, "Hmmm... so she threw up about half of her feed, which means at the next feed, I need to add 1/2 of 2/3rd of 2.5 ml, in addition to 2/3rd of 2.5 ml. Aaaaaa!" And of course, hope that she doesn't throw up again, or I'll really need to engage the services of Shakuntala Devi.

• She showed the first classic sign of being a party animal when she got drunk (on milk) and threw up in a cab. She also haq se threw up on my dear dear friend Starbreez when the latter came to visit. Well, as I said, Starbreez can now truly consider herself as family. Ladies and gentlemen, I now live in constant fear. Fear of the ultimate WMD that Xena comes fitted with -- projectile vomiting.

• Xena is now outgrowing the word 'agoo'. She sure has said that a lot in the last few weeks, and now only uses it sparingly, when she's very very happy about something, such as erm, pooping. Speaking of 'agoo', when she went to the hospital for her last blood test, she smiled and chuckled at the nurse and said 'Agoo'. The nurse smiled back and the very next second poked her with a giant needle. And that is why humans learn very early not to trust one another. :|

• These days she wakes us up at 5 AM with her Carnatic classical singing. We have no option but to politely listen and applaud. Sometimes I pitch in, but I get a look of disapproval. It was hilarious when Mom handed her a tiny bolster. It looked like she was playing a tanpura to accompany her singing.

• I spend a lot of time thinking up novel ways to entertain her. Once I staged an intense fight (with sound effects and all) between a toy moose and a toy dog. She loved it. Viv says I am a violent mother.

• Speaking of violence, Xena has now started pulling my hair with violent determination. She's like a tiny Tarzan using my hair as vines. Thousands of mothers have been bullied by infants into cutting their hair really short. I am still standing strong. Let's see.

• She is still not allowed into air-conditioned crowded places, so other than her hospital visits, we only take her for short walks. We did take her to the beach once for a dinner outing, and to our surprise, she was a very well-behaved baby, interrupting the conversation of the grown-ups around her only to put in a humble request for milk.

• Even though Mom is fully aware of my intense dislike for gold, she got a gold chain, bangles and get this, A RING, made for Xena. A gold ring for an infant. Ya allah! She made Xena wear everything for a picture ('only for the picture', I told her), and I just stood there shaking my head at my child who was now bearing a close resemblance to Bappi Lahiri.

• Sometimes it takes an incredibly long time to put her down for a nap. I have to hold her close to me and then... I rock. (Yeah, literally and otherwise. Hehe!) Sometimes I get bored because she has already half-closed her eyes but is not fully sleeping yet. So I start reading up on the iPad about baby care. As I say, it takes more than just parents and grandparents to take good care of a baby. You need google. You definitely need google.

• Even though she's a real gundi, she is reinforcing every stereotype about women. She uses tears to get her way, starves herself or throws up because she probably thinks she's too fat, and it's impossible to figure out what she wants.

• Xena is quite adversely affecting my dressing sense and I am pretty sure I am gonna get arrested by the fashion police soon. She insists I only wear clothes with cartoons on them. She only finishes her bottle if she can tug at the cartoon on my T-shirt. On days when I wear 'normal' T-shirts, she gives me a disappointed look and refuses to drink milk.

• It's amazing how she can sleep through the sounds of the construction next door, but wakes up crying at the rustle of a chocolate wrapper. Perhaps she is trying to tell me something in a diplomatic manner? Excuse me, missy! I have lost all 13 kgs I had put on when you were inside. I deserve my chocolate now!

• Lately, she has started trying to eat her hands, even though the doctor has said no solids till she is 6 months old. It's amazing how she rejects the bottle as if she's very full, and then proceeds to chomp on her fingers. I nearly fell off laughing when Clueless referred to it as 'finger food'.

• I had never thought how much work taking care of a baby is. Yes, Xena has special needs, but her regular needs are enough to keep me on my toes. I really salute the mother of twins, especially my friend Karen who is taking care of premature twins rather admirably.

On the watch

Me (to mom) - So Mom, now that I am a mother too, give me some tips on good upbringing.

Mom (smiling) - Don't worry, you'll get there.

Me - No, but tell me how you managed to keep my sister and me, well, you know... morally upright, through the rebellious teenage years.

Mom (smiling again) - Well, it's too early. There's time for that.

Me (really really fishing for a compliment) - No, I mean, we were so good as teenagers. You could fully trust us. You never had to keep your eye on us all the time.

Mom (without batting an eyelid) - I had my eye on both of you all the time. You just didn't know it.

:|

Random review: Zindagi na milegi dobara

My apologies to the bewdas and bewdis for my prolonged absence from the bar. I have been terribly busy serving her majesty the warrior princess 24 hours a day. Today, her papa (whose cricket match got washed out) offered to look after her, while I whisked my mom off to watch Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. And though there is tons of Xena stuff that I will be blogging about, I thought of doing up this review before I get back into the endless loop of milk and diapers. A special shoutout to Yamini for getting me back to the bar!

So here goes, my random thoughts after watching Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara:

• Is it only me who keeps calling it Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara because that's how the words were arranged in the title song in 'Rock On'?

• So how come someone thought of casting Hrithik and Katrina together ONLY NOW?! Gosh, what a good-looking pair! So much beauty at once... Aaaahhh! My eyes! My eyes!

• Hrithik's hair is dreeeeamyyy...

• I am beginning to really like Katrina as an actress. She had so many preachy lines in the movie, but she managed to pull them off quite well. Katrina, please get your Hindi diction right soon so SSSK can stop making fun of you.

• Did you know that Mandi Sidhu, the girl who played Rohini, was offered the role of Latika in Slumdog Millionaire? Freida Pinto must be thanking her stars that Mandi turned down the role. (Btw, I did not like Slumdog Millionaire. At all.)

• Farhan Akhtar seems to be involved in a lot of movies about friends (and their spats) - DCH, Rock On and now ZNMD.

• I read an interview somewhere that Abhay Deol was the only guy not shirtless in the Tomatina festival because the stylist told him that squashed tomatoes on his hairy chest would not make a pretty sight, and he didn't want to wax his chest. Sheesh.

• I can't really decide if I find Kalki Koechlin very pretty or horribly ugly. Weird, I know. :|

• I LOVED the Doordarshan scene. That logo and that depressing music. Goodness.

• It was really cute to have the three guys sing the Senorita song themselves. Hrithik sounded really good.

• Deep sea diving, sky diving, bike-riding -- did the actors really do all that themselves or was it body doubles and effects?

• Hmm... so why on earth did 'Saare jahan se achha' start playing when they were about to jump off the plane?

• I liked the idea of the three guys fighting with the ghosts from their past, but the Naseeruddin Shah angle seemed a bit too 'off the story', if you know what I mean.

• Speaking of Naseer, why oh why has he played that same role in so many movies? Pani puri on the house for the bewda/bewdi who can name the maximum number of movies in which Naseer has had an illegitimate child. So far, I have got four.