Kuch Namkeen ho jaaye?

Hi guys,

Here's an update on the blog that stole my posts. World Girl and Sahil got around the system without having to pay, and managed to post comments on Namkeen's blog. Read it here.

I have created a general login which I am going to share here, so that if you have something to say to Namkeen, you can say it without having to register.

Go to this link and login with the following info:
Handle: PQRS2
Password: 9A68K


(Another login courtesy Smiling Gal)
Handle: AgainstNamkeen
Password: LQE34



After logging in, click on blogs (top right), do a search for Namkeen under 'Handle', click on any of the plagiarised posts and voila, you can comment!

I have already posted comments on every single one of my posts that she stole. But as Sahil says, apparently she's on leave (he got the info from some friend of Namkeen's who happened to be online) so I dunno when she will respond.

But this war is not over, missy.

I see red, people!

I happened to google 'Sayesha' and came across the most outrageous thing I have ever encountered in blogworld.

Check this blog out.

This person nicknamed 'Namkeen' coolly copy-pastes my posts on her blog and passes them off as hers with amazing audacity, changing a name here and a place there. And her bunch of readers applaud her on her "original ideas". Hell, she even shamelessly thanks her commentators. She doesn't even spare my posts on specific incidents involving MY Dad and Mom and friends and intricate details of my dream home, and even memorabilia from my childhood, including a painting I made when I was in school! Honestly, how can anyone flick posts about someone's parents??? Atrocious! She also flicked photos that I took and weaved stories around them!

Gosh, I don't think I have ever been so angry!

(I removed my posts with baby Aish's photos from my blog because I don't want her claiming that baby Aish is her niece just like she claims my parents are hers.)

I can't even confront her on her shameless plagiarism because she's not on a blog site. She's on a site called IndiaFriendFinder.com which does not let you comment unless you pay up and register.

I hope that when Namkeen pops by my blog again to steal her 'pick of the night', she reads this post and realises how pathetic her disgraceful actions make her.

Namkeen, if you have an iota of self-respect, you will remove my posts from your blog and refrain from doing this in the future.

Wild wild weird

The Kenyan Girl Next Door and Aarti had tagged me to write some weird facts about myself. Finally I got down to doing it! :P

• I get high on orange juice.
• If I have to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, I can come back and continue my dream from where I left it.
• I have to close my ears immediately after pressing the flush lever in an airplane toilet. I absolutely loathe the high-pressure vacuum sucking sound of the airplane flush. I simply cannot take it. So after pressing the flush lever, I quickly close my ears before the flush operates.
• I don't like ice-cream. My sis and mom think that it's because I am figure-conscious. I prefer to call it 'natural defence against fat'.
• When I was six, I wanted to grow up and become a typist. (Come to think of it, my dream did come true. On some levels, we all are typists, aren't we?)
• I have a morbid fear of some insect entering my ears when I'm sleeping. So I cover my ears when I sleep. Either with my own hair or with my comforter, but they MUST be covered.
• When I was about eight, my cousin bro was a few months old, and my aunt would ask me to help prepare his Cerelac (mushy baby food), I'd make a bit for myself too! I believe that even now, I would prefer a bowl of Cerelac over a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast. :P ~ ~
• I like the diet versions of drinks.
• When I am on holiday, I actually miss my work once in a while.
• I don't like Julia Roberts. Or Angelina Jolie. Or Amitabh Bachchan. (I think I’m gonna get lynched now.)
• I must stand up even if the national anthem is playing in my head.
• My favourite subject in school was Sanskrit.
• I don't like chewing gum. After all the sugar's gone, it becomes YUCK. So YUCK. YUCK.
• I am generally not superstitious but selectively superstitious. I can suddenly get superstitious about some random stuff without warning. For example, I don’t let anyone walk/jump over my feet. I actually ask them to cross back. Because if they don't cross back, I will die you see.
• I have an unlimited capacity for pani puris. I once ate 50 pani puris at one go. And nope, I did not get a stomach upset. My cousin Sid still shakes his head at me when he relates it to surprised relatives/friends.
• Sometimes I wonder if I should give a trusted friend my blogger password so that if something happens to me suddenly, my blog friends wouldn't wonder where the hell I am.

The training of Tiny Tapori

This is Baby Aish's first post on my blog. Baby Talk has been translated by yours truly. :)

Aish says...















I needed a lot of hand... errr... finger-holding before I could master all the taporigiri and bhaigiri that Masi taught me.
















Size par mat ja... when at work, I'm almost as good as Masi...
















I even have gloves my size to wear to work... these CSI people are getting smarter by the day... but not as smart as Masi and me...
















In fact, the sidekicks don't come to me with small stuff anymore... yawn... Masi can handle all that by herself...
















What?? Pakiya got arrested??? Masi, HALP!
















Oh no... what do we do now? I'm clueless...
















Ask him to trick the police and escape - say 'I've to pee' or something...?
















So you're here, Pakiya! Masi's super pissed that you turned out to be such an idiot. Now fall at my feet and I may just get her to forgive you!
















Here... see it now?
















Theek hai theek hai... makhan mat maar abhi... chal hatt! Masi bakshh degi tujhko... apun baat karegi na...
















Masi says I should never show anyone the finger... it's supposed to be rude or something... so I get around the system by showing all my fingers! Ha!
















Speaking of rude gestures... this one's for you, Virdi Mamu! Thhrrbrrrtt!! :P





















Masi also said that not all Mamus are complete dhakkans... there's Chirag Mamu who sent me these pretty flowers when I was ill... even though he only knows Masi through her blog...
















Masi says it's very important to stay crazy... otherwise we'd all go crazy... wonder what she means... I think she is crazy...
















And don't forget to smile... someone somewhere is in love with your smile...
















Sometimes, it's good to be angelic towards others...




















But don't trust everyone you meet... it's okay to look at some people with suspicion... especially if you're getting negative vibes from them...
















And never let anyone walk all over you. It's important to get angry when the line is crossed...
















If you have something to say, say it!
















...athough sometimes, a silent gesture can convey your intentions better than an angry punch in the face...
















And it's okay to be scared... even if it's something silly we're scared of... we're only human... and it's okay to be human...




















Sometimes, we'll get hurt...
















But then a new day happens to us...
















... and it brings us new surprises and new joys...
















Masi said I should always be myself. Hey, what's that?? I dun need no girly hat! Where's my bandana? And my shades?
















But Masi also says that it's nice for us to be all girly and pretty at times...
















As long as we remember that...
















...what really matters is what you have up here.

Who's next to you?

When I was a kid, they used to show an ad on TV, where this beautiful girl enters the aircraft and a guy sitting in his seat thinks, "Kya meri kismat jagegi?" and then the girl walks over to him and says, "Excuse me, shaayad aap meri seat par hain." ("Excuse me, I think you're on my seat.") It probably meant that the girl did indeed sit next to the guy, but I used to laugh my guts out thinking that the guy was in the right seat but the wrong flight.

Back then, I laughed at the ad, not realising how crucial it is to have the right kind of person sitting next to you, especially on long flights. There are the hot babes, the hot guys, the screaming kids, the rude aunties, the drunk middle-aged men, the old guys, and many many more. Usually, when I am seeing someone off or am taking a flight, I try to guess who's gonna be sitting next to the passenger in question. Once I freaked a friend out by correctly predicting his co-passenger two flights in a row. The next time he asked me, "So who's gonna be sitting next to me this time? Who do you see?" I had no answer. I felt this blankness. Fact is - I did not see anything. So I told him I could not tell him this time. Turns out - the seat next to him was empty. Freaky, huh?

So I was telling my sis all this, and then asked her to guess what I was gonna get during my flight back to Singapore.

"Handsome young guy on one side, really old guy on the other."

"Oooh! As long as I have the handsome guy..." I said happily.

We reached the airport and the adorable lady at the SQ check-in counter - I think she was Russian - asked me, "How many passengers?"

"One." I replied.

"You?"

"Yeah, me."

"Just you?"

"Yeah, just me."

"Oh dear! How old are you?"

"Errr... 26?"

"Really?? I thought you were too young to travel alone. I thought you're 17 or something."

I decided to do my victory dance in my head - after all I was a composed and mature 26-year-old.

(I also thought in my head - in Singlish no less - "Too young to travel alone? Got such a thing meh?")

Anyway, I turned my attention back to the sweet lady who was now frowning at her computer screen.

"Darling, why do you have such a bad seat?" She asked.

I was sandwiched in the middle in the middle column of seats. Worst place to be in, if you're gonna take a long flight, and if you're gonna be drinking lotsa orange juice to keep your skin alive in the dry environment of the flight.

"Well, that's the only seat that was available..." I replied.

"Hmmm... let me see... I think I have a cancellation...."

She got me a window - in a two-seat row. Yippee!

Just then, my sis called on my bro-in-law's mobile. (She could not come to the airport cos baby Aish is not allowed to go out of the house yet.)

"Hey, all set to go?"

"Yeah... hey, sis, listen..."

"Yup..."

"Change of plans... I'm only gonna have one person sitting next to me. So which one of the two will it be?"

"Hmm... the handsome young guy."

"Cool. Awesome. Call you when I reach Singapore. Bye!"

"Bye!"

I hung up, looking forward to handsome young guy's company over the next 21 hours, and boarded the flight.

All right man, I have a bone to pick with my sister.

I dunno what Oliver did this summer

"Publicist. The word is 'publicist'."
I looked at my nails and coyly told my mother and sister.

They had just referred to me as 'paparazzi' pursuing baby Aish. Just because I happen to take 50 pictures of her a day. Hmmmph!

Mom and Sis shook their heads at me and my nails and went back to doing their respective chores.

As her paparaz... err... I mean publicist, I have to do a lot of waiting and lurking to catch her when she's awake, to make sure her clothes look fine, her cap is fitted nicely, her hair looks nice, the lighting is right, etc. etc. After all, I'm the one to look through and decide which pictures will make it for the press releases.

And while I wait for her to wake up, I while away my time watching American television.

Back home, I never watched TV. I simply did not have time, neither did I consider it to be such an important activity. But here, I watch a lot of TV.

Channel surfing is weird. This is how it typically goes...

"And Liz seems to be doing really well with those spiders there..."
Fear factor... ewww... flip...

"I like to use cheddar because..."
Food channel... boring... flip...

"You have no right to do this..."
Random soap... can't be bothered... flip...

"At number 39 we have Baby Brangelina..."
Hollywood gossip channel... yawn.... flip...

"I only came here to tell you what Oliver did..."
Random soap... can't be bothered... flip...

"I couldn't help but wonder..."
SATC... seen this episode... flip...

"Chandler! Are you..."
Friends... seen this one... flip...

"And the price is..."
Random gameshow... yawn... flip...

"Because he is my younger brother!"
Random soap... can't be bothered... flip...

You're flipping and flipping when you suddenly realise that you actually are curious about what Oliver did. Problem is - you have no clue which of the 100-odd channels that show was on. By this time, you have flipped so many channels that you don't even know whether skipping forwards or backwards will get you to that channel. Your curiosity is heightened and you're constantly scanning all the channels to hear the voice of the woman who was gonna tell-all about Oliver. Heck, you don't even know who the hell Oliver is, and how what he did could affect your life in any way, but the urgency grows. Along with a slight bout of neurosis. What did Oliver do? It does not matter that you are leaving the country in less than a week, and even if you did trace Oliver's deeds in this episode, there is no way you will be following the plot through. But your brain is not working. It is focusing on hand-eye-ear coordination, you see. Your fingers are now tired with the urgent high-speed button pressing, and your eyes and ears are on full alert mode, and you're doing all you can. But it doesn't seem to be enough.

It's been over 40 minutes of flipping channels and you still can't find it.

Finally you sigh and give up.

But you lie in bed that night tossing and turning with the realisation that you will live your entire life without ever finding out what Oliver did.

============================================

Yup, looks like I was flipping. And nope, am not talking about the channels.

The search has just begun

My sister used to be a google fanatic.

(Who isn't?)

So I'm checking email while my sis is checking whether baby Aish needs a change of diaper, when something strikes me.

"Sis..."

"Hmm...." She says, still looking at the baby.

"I've not seen you get online at all since the baby was born. How do you do it man?"

"Hahaha..."

"No seriously, how can you survive without the Internet? I'd die. Seriously."

"Wait till you have a baby. Phir Internet gaya bhaad mein! Your baby becomes your world wide web."

"Hahaha!"

Now that the baby keeps her hands full, she has no time to get on the net, but she often asks me to check up things - mostly baby stuff - on google.

The last time she said, "Oh, google can tell us!" Mom asked, "Ok who is this google and how come he can tell us everything?"

When you're really excited about something, you want others to be as excited. And if they are not, you feel disappointed. You also feel as if you have let down the thing you're excited about.

So my sister and I started to convince my Mom about great google is.

"Google is this really cool search engine that can give you any information you want. You just type the words on any topic in the world and you'll get so much information that you can't even read it all!"

"Any information I want? On anything?" Mom asked.

"Yeah! Anything at all!"

Mom looked interested. And seeing my Mom vaguely take an interest in anything related to computers was such a treat I jumped at the chance.

"Mom, I'll teach you how to use the computer and then you'll see how cool google is."

Some time ago, I'd blogged about how she used to think that my PC would explode if she touched it. Well, looks like laptops do not explode when touched. 'Cos Mom readily agreed.

And then the tutorial started.

"Now I'm gonna teach you how to double-click. You know, once you learn how to double-click, you've mastered half of whatever there is to learn about computers."

"Ha ha ha." goes my sis.

No, seriously.

So it takes her a while before she's able to double-click effortlessly.

Then we accessed google.

"Okay Mom, what do you wanna know?"

"Ummm...."

"Gimme any topic - your area of interest, something you wanna find out..."

"Ummm... Recipes?"

"Recipes! Great! Which recipe do you want?"

"Does it have Hyderabadi biryani?"

"Of course! Great! Hyderabad biryani!" I started typing.

"No no, wait wait. I want Hyderabad's Paradise Hotel's Hyderabadi biryani's recipe." Mom said.

(Paradise Hotel's Hyderabadi biryani is the ultimate biryani in the world. We used to go there twice a week when Dad was posted in Hyderabad. Any attempt to even begin to describe how yummy it is, is an insult to the dish. You gotta try it yourself to know.)

My sis and I looked at each other.

"Uhhh... let me try, but you may not get the authentic recipe..."

"Arre, then what's the point?"

"I mean you will get many recipes of Hyderabadi biryani, but maybe not that of Paradise Hotel's..."

"Why not?"

"Because Paradise Hotel won't put up their recipe on the Internet na..." my sis tried to help me.

"But you just said that your google-shoogle can give me any information I want!"

"Errr... maybe not everything..."

"Hmmm..."

"Errr... why don't you read some of the recipes, Mom?"

Mom read a few recipes.

"So? How are they?"

"Hmmm... okay... chalega..."

"Okay Mom, that's all for today. Tomorrow we will learn something else." I said.

"That's all?" My sister asked.

"Yeah, enough for today. We don't want an overdose. Today I just wanted her to explore the power of the Internet." I said.

"Mom, you're Internet Explorer today. Ha ha ha." I added.

I look back and Baby Aish is the only one grinning at my sad li'l joke.

Listen up, Blogville!

Today I saw a neighbourhood of only bloggers.

Ok, I didn't. I just thought that I did.

Don't blame me, blame the funny font they used to print the building numbers in my sister's neighbourhood.

BLDG 30, BLDG 31, BLDG 32, BLDG 33... and so on.

Of course I read it as BLOG 30, BLOG 31, BLOG 32, BLOG 33 and so on...

And then a funny thought crossed my mind. What if it really happened - if all of us bloggers lived in one neighbourhood? Okay, maybe not all, but those who are close to one another? We'd go to work/school in the morn, hang out in the evening, have loadsa fun and then go back to our respective homes at night to blog and read blogs.

But then again, if we met every day, maybe we wouldn't have so much to talk about. Cos we'd have read it all on each other's blogs then, isn't it?

I've actually noticed that sometimes when I hang out with my friends who regularly read my blog, I have fewer things to say cos they've already read most of the stuff that's happening with me. So when I am in their company, I crack the odd joke every now and then, but I notice that I have less to say and more to listen to.

Is it true then? Are we bloggers losing our social skills?

Or are we just becoming better listeners?

I (heart) NY

Some cities reject you instantly. The moment you enter, you know you don't belong there.

Others welcome you with open arms and absorb you right away.

NY did that to me.

I think that's why I bought one of the li'l I (heart) NY t-shirts for myself, and not because it's a must-buy token touristy souvenir.

Yesterday this SATC fan(atic) spent ten hours roaming the streets of NY.

Now I've done some serious roaming around on the streets, in London, in Kuala Lumpur, in Hong Kong, and in Cambodia. But this one was somehow special. Special in a different way. For the first time in my life, I seriously considered what my sis has been asking me to do - live in the US.

As I finished my King Kong act, took the escalator down and walked out of the empire state building, I could not help but notice the li'l Starbucks next to the amazing structure. And I could totally imagine myself sitting in that Starbucks (even though I don't even drink coffee) with a laptop and writing away for the next few years of my life.

Yup, just like Carrie Bradshaw. :)

Now if only I could find someone willing to pay me for doing that... :P

Perfect ten

Baby Aish turns ten today. Days. :)

















Well done, sis!
















Practise with the cap first babe, 'cos soon tapori Masi will teach you how to tie a bandana

















Aish looks at Sash :)